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Don't Help Me. Please Help Me.

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KatieB

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Don't help me.

I am a fiercely independant woman.  i am a survivor.  I am strong.  I will beat this (insert cancer type/condition here) and my life will inspire others. If I show weakness then it wins.  I will get up everyday and tackle the world.  I will do my hair and put on lipstick and look as amazing as I can so no one will know that I am "sick". I will not ask anyone for help.  I will carry all of the groceries into the house.  I will change the water bottle on the water cooler.  I will carry packages to Fex Ex.  I will walk the dogs. I will drive myself to scan appointments and blood draws and biopsies.  I will wash and dry laundry and I will never miss a single day of work.  

Please help me.  

I get up everyday in pain.  It takes me longer these days to do my hair and put on my lipstick.  I carry all the groceries into the house and I have to sit, catch my breath before I put them away.  I wait until I am practically dying of thirst before I change the water bottle on the cooler.  I carry the heavy packages into Fed Ex one 5 pound box at a time.  I no longer walk the dogs- that's what the doggy door is for.  I drive myself to scan appointments and wring my hands and bounce my leg because I am afraid of bad results.  I drive myself to biospies and sometime I cry when I'm alone and putting my clothes back on.  I can take laundry for 4 people up the stairs and put them away, but my body will hurt for two days after.   I never miss a single day of work- but sometimes I am working from my bed.

It's easier for me to help others than it is to help myself.  While I want to do everything myself- there are times that I get really annoyed if those I love don't offer to help me.  

To their credit how can they know I need help when I don't look or act "sick"? 

Ask me.

 

 

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