LilyAnneLouis

Tom, Thank you so much for reaching out. I ordered the book and I completely agree that consistent counseling is the way to go. I cannot image the pain, both emotionally and physically, that people diagnosed with lung cancer go through. My dad, who already wasn't in great health, has really given this disease a fight and the medicine alone can just annihilate people. There is something so scary about watching someone deteriorate and it has filled me with so many emotions, from anger, to fear, to this deep connection with the planet. As we ride this emotional roller coaster, I feel drained, yet somehow on edge every single day. I feel a little bit like a bird, burying its head in the sand, hoping for all of this to go away. Regardless, I have spent most of my time on this site expressing worry for myself and my own emotions. I don't have another place to do that. So for everyone reading this, just know how important that has been for me, albeit selfish, but it's let me release a lot of pent up anxieties that I'm sick of carrying around. Holding you all in the light.

Hello All, It's been a while since I've been on this site. In all honesty, I have been racked with anxiety for months now and really just need a place to get it off my chest. My dad is in the late stages of NSCLC, we moved him to hospice last week. It has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. My dad has fluid in his lungs that gets drained every other day or so. He is finally not in a lot of pain. He's on a myriad of medicines and he is getting better sleep, but he is also becoming increasingly confused. He stares off for minutes at a time. He forgets what he is doing or saying in a very short period of time and he doesn't know where he is when he wakes up. On top of all of this, I am an anxiety sufferer, specifically healthy anxiety. I have had an irrational fear of dying young since I was like 8 years old and watched a documentary on kids with leukemia. About three or four years ago I was crippled by the thought that I had lymphoma. I lost weight, got night sweats, even thought I found a lump in my neck. I went to the doctor all the time until I was finally too afraid to go. Now my fixation is on ovarian cancer. As I watch my dad deteriorate physically and mentally, I become increasingly convinced that I will get cancer too. My anxiety causes very real symptoms, and can be incredibly distracting. I am just so overwhelmed. I wish cancer didn't incite such fear in me, but I've watched too many people die from it. Does anyone have similar problems? I'm scared that every time I talk to my dad it will be the last time, but I'm also terrified to suffer the same fate. The things I can control, I do right. I don't smoke or drink excessively. I eat a vegetarian, non-processed diet. I make as much of my own products as possible, but there are plenty of people who have done all the right things and still get cancer. Thank you all for letting me use this space as a place to vent my fears and worries.

Good morning, So my father has stage IV nsclc and he has a tumor pressing on a nerve that has caused one vocal chord to paralyze. It makes drinking liquids really challenging. He easily chokes, and cannot speak. In the last two weeks, I'd say he has lost around 10 pounds. My dad is 6 foot 4 and he's down to around 100 pounds. He told me the other day all he had eaten was ice chips and apple sauce. I'm scared for him. I offer to make him smoothies and any food of his choice, I tell him I will pick up whatever he wants. He told me nothing sounds good and when it does, by the time he tries to eat, it makes him nauseated. He takes nausea medication and he understands he has to eat, but he isn't. The other day I walked into his house while he was asleep and I thought he had passed. I'm just so worried all the time that I can't sleep. What can I do to help him? He's so weak and not being able to drink liquids really takes a toll on his energy. I know he feels nauseous, but I want to shake him and tell him if he doesn't eat he won't be here anymore. I know he knows that but I'm scared and I know he is too. Any words of wisdom?

Good morning, So my father has stage IV nsclc and he has a tumor pressing on a nerve that has caused one vocal chord to paralyze. It makes drinking liquids really challenging. He easily chokes, and cannot speak. In the last two weeks, I'd say he has lost around 10 pounds. My dad is 6 foot 4 and he's down to around 100 pounds. He told me the other day all he had eaten was ice chips and apple sauce. I'm scared for him. I offer to make him smoothies and any food of his choice, I tell him I will pick up whatever he wants. He told me nothing sounds good and when it does, by the time he tries to eat, it makes him nauseated. He takes nausea medication and he understands he has to eat, but he isn't. The other day I walked into his house while he was asleep and I thought he had passed. I'm just so worried all the time that I can't sleep. What can I do to help him? He's so weak and not being able to drink liquids really takes a toll on his energy. I know he feels nauseous, but I want to shake him and tell him if he doesn't eat he won't be here anymore. I know he knows that but I'm scared and I know he is too. Any words of wisdom?

AMay, I am new to this forum, but I wanted to tell you that I think your and your mother's attitudes are the right one. Unfortunately this is a tough disease, but your mom's good health prior to her diagnosis is so crucial. My dad suffers from stage IV nsc, and his health was in bad shape before hand. Even still, he is around a whole year after his diagnosis, one that gave him about 8 months to live. People make it through this. They do. Take care of yourself. Make sure you're doing all you can to be mentally okay so that you can be there for her. Good luck on this journey. Lily

Hi, I am completely new to any forum like this. I'm really looking for comfort in how everyone handles this experience. My father was diagnosed with stage IV NSC lung cancer about a year ago. He started chemo and avastin in February and has rotated those treatments ever since. Recently he had fluid build up around his heart and had to have the fluid drained and then he began immunotherapy injections. Recently his cancer has impacted his larynx, cause one vocal chord to become paralyzed. (This makes eating, swallowing, breathing and coughing really difficult for him.) I am doing my best to be there for whatever he needs and really keep the focus on him. Lately, as he loses weight and the hospital visits become more and more frequent, I find myself so overwhelmed. How are you all coping with this? I'm spiritual and I meditate, but lately I haven't been taking care of that side of myself mentally. I'm exhausted and terrified and in my dad's most recent stint in the hospital he revealed to me how terrified he was. How are you family members and caretakers coping? I feel liked I could explode. My teaching has suffered, barely sleep and I'm anxious all the time (I already suffer from anxiety). I guess writing this has answered many of my own questions, but I feel like I should be talking to someone. The doctors made it clear that this is what the fight for prolonging life looks like in the world of lung cancer and I'm just having trouble coping. Sorry to make this so about my feelings. I will take any advice and I hope everyone the very best. Lily