ngc4au
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Hello! My father went to see the medical oncologist Wednesday (1/3) and starts chemo 1/16 with carboplatin and Docetaxel. His radiation will start around the same time. There has been problems with the site chosen because although it is near their home...it was just opening the first week of January...so probably back to the Kirklin Clinic which is further away but the established site.
Question/Comment: Yesterday my mother told me my father felt this was all for nothing and the outcome was going to be the same no matter what. It really took me by surprise...I am devastated by this attitude. I understand (and feel the same) the ups and downs of emotions but I want him to feel hopeful. His regular MD prescribed klonopin for his nerves and sleep problems. All of the information about survival is depressing but things are changing so rapidly, with so many stories of survival on here (including yours)...am I wrong to feel that he can live and manage this?? And in the end isn't the outcome the same for everyone anyway, cancer or not? I just don't want to have my rose-colored glasses on and be steering towards something that isn't...Thanks!
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When it comes to life, there are only two certainties: birth and death. Neither event is predictable with certainty. A lung cancer diagnosis doesn't change the two certainties. So, are you wrong to feel he can live and manage? No, but it doesn't matter how you feel; it matters how your father feels.
I have no scientific or medical foundation for my view on a patient's attitude toward lung cancer treatment and outcomes. I have a belief and while not medically grounded, it parallels successful person-to-person interactions in everyday life. If I present myself as a patient who cares about my treatment, who is engaged and inquisitive, who cares about outcomes, and has a desire to live; the people who treat me might just take an extra step, run another test, search another journal because I have a sanguine attitude. That something extra is what saved my life.
Stephen J. Gould said it best in his wonderful essay "The Median isn't the Message". Play the linked youtube for your dad. Stress the importance of acquiring a sanguine approach toward his treatment.
Stay the course.
Tom
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