meme13 Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Hello, I am new here. I am looking for grief support. Do I need to create a timeline similar to those I've seen attached to posts? If so how? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CindyA Posted November 24, 2015 Share Posted November 24, 2015 Hi Meme13, I am so very sorry about your brother. We have a grief forum in the message boards. Feel free to post there or you can stay here, it's up to you. How are you doing? http://forums.lungevity.org/index.php?/forum/13-grief/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meme13 Posted November 24, 2015 Author Share Posted November 24, 2015 It was my mother, not brother. Sometimes I'm okay, sometimes not. I will check out the grief link you posted, thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmshy34 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hello meme 13, I am so sorry for your lost of your mother. I could not help but to see the link of the lost of your mother on November 4, 2015. I have lost my mother early part of this year (January 12, 2015 and it has been very difficult for me to cope in life. I have ask God to give me strength to get through nursing school because this is what my mother wanted before she left me. What has helped me although I may have my moments is prayer, meditation, and socializing with others who may have similar situations for emotional support. I truly want to say that you have made a GREAT CHOICE and EFFORT to involve yourself with the Lungevity Foundation for support. I have posted a questionnaire on the online forum of the Lung Cancer Support Community site to determine the benefit and outcome of an online support group community. It is voluntary so you don't have to participate if you don't want to. I want you to stay strong for yourself and your family and continue to get the grief/emotional support that you need from Lungevity Foundation and other support organizations (church affiliations, etc). May God give you strength and heal you emotionally. Latasha Morrison, Keiser University nursing student Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CindyA Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 meme13, I'm sorry you lost your mother. I can only imagine the pain you are going through. Is there a favorite hobby or tradition that you two had? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tmshy34 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Hello Cindy, I must admit that nursing school really kept me busy so I have not had the time to have a hobby. However, when I have spare time, I like to be around people who are positive and who may give encouraging words that keep me going throughout my day. It is going to be tough around the holidays because this will be my first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my mother. I just want to be around family and friends who uplifts me at this point of time. I want to wish EVERYONE the BEST THANKSGIVING DAY!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kimsmith Posted November 26, 2015 Share Posted November 26, 2015 I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. I can only imagine how difficult this time and level of pain and grief you've to endure. Please keep moving forward. meme13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meme13 Posted December 29, 2015 Author Share Posted December 29, 2015 Thank You all, I sort of lost track of this site shortly after my post. Cindy, I guess I stumbled in the same direction that you had been pointing me. My daughters and I have found that cooking some of mom's best recipes this holiday season made her seem closer. I also made a Christmas ornament 'wordle' on a glass ornament to memorialize her. I used keywords from her life, family members etc... I made one for my father and siblings though I've only been able to deliver my Dad's so far. I am struggling though, good days and bad. My kids keep me busy and my husband has been very helpful in providing me with the proper perspective to help me examine my feelings from a different angle. My siblings and I are very close in age, all in our 40's and there has been a lot of nastiness in the interactions surrounding one family member. These are new issues to deal with on top of loss and grief. Another sibling has had tremendous difficulty coping and has had a complete breakdown/hospitalization. tmshy34- I am sorry for your loss as well. I will look for your survey when I have the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CindyA Posted January 5, 2016 Share Posted January 5, 2016 meme 13, I love that you and your daughter are making her recipes. I framed one of my Grandmothers hand written recipes and it is hanging on a wall in my kitchen. An ornament is a great idea. What a nice gift for your Dad and siblings. Shutterfly has really neat ideas that you can do with photos too. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. I hope you will take comfort in the many years and good memories you were able to have with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RandyW Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 it is a hard road ahead of course... one of the things I used to do and still do when the weather is nicer is go outside at night under the stars and talk... discuss anything and everything on your mind....fuss and curse if your mad and apologize when your done of course for that.. it is ok.... you have to get the bad energy and the bad grief off your mind and soul.. this gives you somewhat of a break form the normal routine.. Now your thinking how do I know she heard me talking? in time you will get a sign... be it a smell a vision of something you both enjoyed... Mine is bunny rabbits in the yard... I was my wifes honey bunny so that is my sign to this day...a friend of mine who lost his son sees butterflies and thunderstorms as their sign.. meme13 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meme13 Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 Hello Randy, I just saw your note today. Thank You. I'd almost given up on this site completely, only because it seems very active for cancer patients, but in the grief and loss department, not so much. I am so sorry for your loss too. I've found myself engaging in some of the activities you described here. I have an oak tree that still has dead leaves although 'fall' is far behind us. When I walk my dogs I stand under the tree and wait for the leaves to start shaking in the breeze, especially if there is no wind. I tell myself that this is some sort of sign, though I don't know if I believe that at all. I talk to her from under the tree. I think it is part of human nature to look for these signs. My mother's father died far too young from black lung (kentucky coal miner). Mom was devastated. She shared with me that soon after his funeral, she had a dream visitation. In the dream her dad was young and healthy. He was standing on the near side of a small creek smiling. He hopped over (crossed over?) to the other side and then looked back and waved. She believed all of her life that he came to tell her that it was ok, he was happy and in no pain. Playing devil's advocate, if he did that for her, and she believed it with all her heart, why has she not visited my dreams in 2.5 mos now? I am not a religious person, I wish I was, it sure would help right about now. My mother told me less than a week before her passing that she knows there is something beyond this life and has known with certainty since she was four. She had a dream one night about her best friend's grandfather, he was floating up a hill and then over the tombstones in the cemetery. At breakfast she learned that he had died overnight. He was not very old and was not sick. I am so glad that when mom died she was so certain of something more. I'm glad that she was okay emotionally and mentally with what was happening. Thank you for your response, I haven't quite gotten the hang of this forum yet and I believe when I was looking for notifications to my post, I neglected to notice I was not signed in, I took that as a lack of activity, but it was only user error. Hearing from someone else who has experienced a loss like this and the anger (mine not with GOD, not with Mom so much,but with cigarettes in general) helps. I feel very isolated in dealing with my feelings. My husband is a big help, but I haven't made much time to engage with friends, though they have reached out and offered support the way true friends always do. Thank you for reading and for sharing. Thanks to all who have commented here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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