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Pam.L

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  1. Hi Lynn, I just wanted to let you know that you are NOT alone!! We were stationed in England in the Airforce in 1997 and got a call from my sister-in-law that my mother-in-law was not doing too good (she battled kidney, colon, and stomach cancer for 3 years) and we needed to get home, this was in December right before Christmas. We did not plan on going home for Christmas that year, but under the circumstances we had to. She was very sick looking and depressed the whole time we were there. We spent Christmas with her and while we were home my Grandfather dies suddenly from a Pulmonary embolism. 2 months later we got another call telling us to get home as fast as we could that she was in the hospital on a respirator. We got home and she was not even coherient, we had to make the decision to continue the morphine and that it would cause her to stop breathing. We had to let her go. 10 months later my Mother called me and told me she had lung cancer. We were still in England and my husband was deployed to Saudi because of the peace keeping there at the time. I lost it. I had been there when my husbands mother died and now 10 months later I am facing my mother having cancer. The hardest part was not being able to be there with her. She had bought me and my kids plane tickets before she found out she had the cancer so we could come home for a while since my husband was deployed. I BEGGED her to change the tickets so I could come home to be with her and she told me she did not want my kids to see her going through chemo. She said for me just to come as planned becasue she would be over the chemo when we got there and we could spend quality time together. I joked and told her I would take her to the mall and push her in a wheelchair if I had to. She was a shopaholic. Well, the day before we were suppose to get on the plane to go home my sister called and told me she was in the hospital on a respirator and it did not look good. In England by myself with my kids (they were 7yrs and 4 yrs at the time) I was a basket case!!! I wanted to be there with her soooo bad it hurt. I had a friend pick us up at the airport and take me straight to the hospital and asked her to keep my kids for a few days. She was in the ICU and not coherient because she had been sedated. I stayed there for about an hour and then went home with my family to get some rest so I could go back the next day to be with her. It was about 10pm when we left the hospital. We got home and 30 minutes later we got a call from the Dr saying her BP was dropping fast. She died before we got to the hospital. I will always have to live with the fact that I NEVER got to say goodbye to her. She was my bestfriend and my rock and she was gone 3 weeks after being diagnosed. I know how hard it must be for you to have gone through what you have and now seeing your dad like this. Just thank god you can be there for him, even though he is not doing well at least you will know you were there for him through all of his pain. My prayers are with you and your family and I am so sorry you have to go through this. Be strong and tell him how much you love him EVERYDAY!!! HUG, Pam
  2. Thank you Ginny.. Actually my spirit is somewhat broken right now. I was diagnosed with EVERYTHING I listed all within a month. I am very overwhelmed and now the chest pain and breathing trouble. I see a phychiatrist and a therapist and I think that and these message boards are ALL that help me get through it all. Some days I could care less if I live or die, I have a very negative attitude, I know. I just have SOO much going on that I think somethimes it would be better for everyone if I were not here so they could go on with their lives and not have to worry about me. I feel like a HUGE burdon. I just want to be able to do things with my kids and husband and right now all I can do is lay around. When I do go out, just to the grocery store or the mall, I come home and feel like just the smallest amount of activity takes everything out of me. With my back problems I can not even mop the floor or vaccum without feeling like someone just stabbed me in the back. Even after having a hysterectomy 2 years ago, now I feel like I did before I even had it. It hurts so bad you would think I still had my female organs in there. At least when I had the pain before the hyst I knew what was causing the pain, now I curl up in a ball and cry as I did when I had all of the presurgery symptoms. I feel like a hypochondriac and I know that there are some people I know that thinks so too. I almost lost my husband and Iam sure my poor kids are sick of seeing me laying on the couch everyday they get home from school. Ok, I have vented for the week, sorry to sound so negative, I just can not think of ANYTHING positive yet. HUGS to all and any prayers are appreciated!!! Pam
  3. Sam, I just noticed that angiogram and arteriorgram look very similar, what is the difference in the 2 tests? Thanks, Pam
  4. Thanks so much Sam.. I guess I should have mentioned that they also did an ultrasound of my ankle and leg and found no clot. They also did a CT Pulmonary arteriorgram and the report stated no evidence of PE but fatty infiltration of liver. I am just so confused and have had SOOO many medical problems the past few years it almost cost me my marriage. After the possible blot clot scare my husband saw the BIG picture. I just wish I knew what the perfusion defects were and why I feel like this.. Thanks for caring enough to help me through this!!!!!!!! HUGS, Pam
  5. Hello everyone, My name is Pam and I am new to this board. I have several medical problems right now and one that is really scaring me to death. I did not know where else to go!! I will tell you all a little about myself and then get to the point. I promise I will try to be brief.. I am 33, have 2 children and married for 15 years on the 15th of this month. I have had a total hysterectomy due to numerous female problems and now am faceing another surgery the 30th for recurring endomitriosis. After that I will have to have another surgery for bladder and bowel repair.. (Sorry guys, I know you can not relate to that one) I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism 6 months ago and have been on meds to stabalize it. I also have DDD in my lower back and shoulder and 2 herniated discs in my lower back and am on the way to having epidural steroid injections. NOW IS THE SCARY ONE...... For the past month or so I have had problems with a cough and shortness of breath along with some chest pain that is more acheing that goes from the front of my chest behind my breast that radiated to my back. I have also been VERY fatigued and find myself wanting to sleep the day and night away. To answer a very important question, I have been a smoker for going on 18 years now. I have a family history of emphysemia and lung cancer. I was sent to the ER by way of ambulance for a possible blood clot after noticing my left ankle and calf were swollen and passing out that next morning. The ran several tests to check for a clot and did not find one. THey sent me home and told me I had bronchitis. I did get some disturbing test results that I tried to read myself and made things seem worse.I have not seem my regular Dr about the tesr results yet but am still having symptoms that she does not know about. I left a message today for her to call me to see if I can set up a PFT test and try and get an appt easlier than the one I have next Friday. The test that were ran were. PA & Lateral chest X-ray......... Cardiac silhouette is mildly enlarged, no focal consolidation, pulmonary edema or pnuemothorax. Venelation/Perfusion Scan.......... 2 large perfusion defects seen in posterior aspects of both lungs, unsure if due to artifact, recommend pulmonary angio. I was never given a pulmonary angio for some reason. I am on pain meds for the pelvic and back pain and I usually do not really notice the chest pain unless I do not keep my pain meds in me every 6 hours. I am very scared about what it is and fear lung cancer. I have never coughed up blood but do cough up phlem alot. I would really appreciate any help and support you can give, I do not know where else to turn!!! Pam
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