mrhodes

Quitting is the toughest thing for a smoker to do. It took me a good 120 days before I even felt normal. My husband's lung cancer pushed me out of the closet as a smoker and into non-smoking status. Has your husband visited quitnet.com? It's a GREAT website with people who celebrate every single little anniversary with you and who congratulate you constantly for the daily struggle to stay smoke-free. Tell him to check it out. That might help. In the meantime, I hope you find lots of time for yourself so that you can assist and spend time with your loved one with cancer. Melinda

Hi, there. The rash is actually good news. That's indication that the Tarceva may be doing what it should be doing. My husband did not break out in a rash, and the docs were disappointed. So love that look! Melinda

Hi, Mike. I also wanted to express my sympathy. I'm sure your mother was blessed to have you and your wife assisting and caring for her. Melinda

Hi, Kim. Wow. That must have been amazing to hear. I think removal of the port is a literal and symbolic evidence of success in the battle. Congratulations. Melinda

My husband tried to do administer his own medication but definitely cannot at this stage. I think an outside party encouraging assistance is important. He could also "participate" at med time. Still, I think a reminder of how good he feels when the medication is correct is worthwhile. Melinda

This sounds like a great research program. Of course, I'm a big fan of the research programs, having had two very good experiences (one in which my husband had the "new" treatment and one in which he had the standard of care treatment). Best to you as you move into this next phase. I have heard very, very good things about Tarceva and women.

It took me forever to quite, even after my husband's diagnosis and even after wanting to quit for over a decade. I honestly believe this is the hardest fight I've ever experienced -- staying "smober." I joined Quitnet.com and scheduled a vacation with family around whom I have never smoked to get me through the hell and heck weeks (first two). Now I'm at 298 days, almost 300. And each day, especially those stressfull ones, I feel like driving to the convenience store, picking up a pack and having at it. You cannot beat yourself up, and it makes it worse when you play the guilt game with yourself. The time will come when you want to return to your smokefree status. At the Q, we have a board for cancer survivors and family still fighting the non-smoking fight. Maybe you want to join us there?

I never had anxiety at chemo time -- just all the time. I'm a firm believer in accepting the assistance of anti-anxiety medication. I didn't for over a year and feel, in retrospect, that I might have been able to cope much better. Melinda

Also hear to wish you well this morning and hoping for the best results. Melinda

Whenever I see you picture, I know the post will contain wisdom or caring. So many people have mentioned that in this thread, but I wanted you to hear it from someone who does a little more lurking than posting. You are in my thoughts, I thank you for your ability to keep us all positive and I wish the best for you in the upcoming weeks. Please enjoy that wonderful graduation. Melinda

I also wanted to echo everything said already. There are days when I wonder how or why I should get out of bed. The exhaustion is so severe and the strain almost unbearable. It is time for you to heal. Melinda

Hi, there. Just wanted to chime in because the stabbing pains and tingling you mention (as well as neck and back pain) were all "symptoms" I had been experiencing for over a year after my husband's diagnosis. I went to the doctor last February (making sure to let him know I thought I had cancer and was dying), and he did a chest x-ray and an MRI on my back. Nothing wrong. The situation continued, so he finally perscribed an anti-anxiety medication (Xanax). Since then, no back pain, no chest pain and very little numbness/tingling. I feel "normal" to a certain degree. I agree with everyone to ease your mind and be sure to let the doc know how much you have had to deal with. Melinda

Another place you might want to check out is quitnet.com. It's a great support site, and I'm a member of a club there for cancer survivors and their families. I agree with the advice given above as well. Never beat yourself up. It's self-defeating. The guilt alone makes you feel worse. You will make the move when you feel it's time, and since you posted about it, it's close to time. Melinda

Great advice from everyone. If you do experience symptoms, don't hesitate to mention them and evaluate some of the different drug options for assisting with nausea, etc. There are so many that do assist. But I agree with everyone: drink a lot and eat well. Melinda

There is so much wonderful advice and information being offered. So I would just like to add my welcome. Your mother and your family are so fortunate to have one another during this time. I found the journey with cancer has also been a journey of faith, one I am privileged to make. Melinda