AnneBurris

elaine, That is such a great question. I just lost my mom in December and I was 29. I wish so much that she had either written something, said something, or video taped something for me. I can understand (especially now that you've said it) that it was probably not something she wanted to face and that's why she didn't, but it left me feeling insignificant. I have a 10 month old son, and I feel like if I had a terminal illness, there is so much that I would want to say to him, lasting words. Anyhow, it's good that you asked because I am sure your children, no matter what their ages, would cherish it. I wish you courage and peace. Take care, Anne

Dear Mouse, That was such a heart-wrenching story. You asked for advice, of which I don't have much that's going to help, nothing will seem to help you right away. However, the responsibility of taking care of a baby as you know is a big one and can be overwhelming. Not having your husband there to help will of course be difficult. Do you have any friends that will volunteer to help out once in a while? Do you belong to a church? I know the girlfriends I have at church are always so willing to help other girls/ladies - especially for those in grief and need. I'll say a pray for you now. Much love, anne

Dear Mouse, That was such a heart-wrenching story. You asked for advice, of which I don't have much that's going to help, nothing will seem to help you right away. However, the responsibility of taking care of a baby as you know is a big one and can be overwhelming. Not having your husband there to help will of course be difficult. Do you have any friends that will volunteer to help out once in a while? Do you belong to a church? I know the girlfriends I have at church are always so willing to help other girls/ladies - especially for those in grief and need. I'll say a pray for you now. Much love, anne

Hi Larry - (and other's from Wichita) I am also from Wichita and noticed people posting about advice about choosing oncologists. My mother passed away from SCLC on December 13th and was under the care of Dr. Dennis Moore with the Cancer Center of Kansas located there across the street from St. Francis. He was a VERY BUSY oncologist who spent very little time with my mother and really doused any flames of hope that she had so I recommend not using him. However, I do know that the nurses there are very nice and my mother really liked them. There are 5 or 6 oncologists with that group and they could probably be more helpful than the onc that I mentioned. In my opinion the best oncologist is one that takes time and shows that he/she cares. My best wishes for you and your family. Anne

I agree with Betty when she said you are obliged to honor your father but not obliged to love him. I lost my mother in December and although my father was great at the end of her days, I thought they treated eachother terribly for the 7 months that she lived after her diagnosis. They nit-picked eachother constantly and said mean things to eachother. I knew they would regret it, and now he does, he feels so guilty for having lost his temper over the small things. Your dad sounds like a real jerk but I do want to give him the benefit of the doubt on a couple of the things you mentioned. You said he sat on the porch crying while looking at her picture instead of being inside with her in the living room - that sounds like he did love her and just couldn't bare to see her slipping away. Also, you said that he said awful things like "I wish she would die already so this was over". That sounds so terrible, but I have to say that even I said that when my mother was sick. One morning about 6 days after she was bed-ridden and we had gone on nearly no sleep in caring for her and watching her suffer, I said the same thing because it was exhausting watching her suffer, I so desperately wanted her to pass on so that she could have peace. I said it out of love, if he said it with a nasty tone then I can understand your anger. The comment about the letters and being put out about moving the bed was totally crappy, and I can't seem to find anything positive about that. Maybe that was his way of lashing out about losing his love. If he were my dad I probably wouldn't be droppin' to many lines to him. Has he been like this all his life? If not, maybe you can forgive him. Take care, Anne

Peg, I am so sorry for your loss, it hurts so much to see our friends and family members here go. Anne

Carleen, I think of you and Keith often and am always glad to see your posts. You and Keith have a special love. It's great that you guys are making plans for the future, after all life has not stopped, and making plans gives you hope for the future and goals to strive for. I wish you all the best. Take care, Anne

Andrea, Sorry I'm am late in posting, just wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you. Anne

Berisa, Such great news, I'm sure that brings you much peace and joy. Anne

Berisa, Such great news, I'm sure that brings you much peace and joy. Anne

Berisa, Such great news, I'm sure that brings you much peace and joy. Anne

So glad to here your mom's scans returned well! She's really defied those timelines that doctors encourage sclc patients with. Hope you find time to take that special vacation with your parents. My mom had a number of places she wanted to go but never went, I think she thought she had more time. Sadly we never got to take that vacation we wanted to Again, so glad to hear about your mom's good results! Take care, Anne

Karen, I will add you to my prayer log. Hoping you have a speedy recovery. Take care, Anne

Karen, I will add you to my prayer log. Hoping you have a speedy recovery. Take care, Anne

Dusty, I would be so sad if I lost my sister even though we aren't extremely close. Your post makes me want to tell her how much I love her. Anne