Tim'sKathy

Dear Norme... I had not been on for awhile and when I checked the board tonight, I could not believe my eyes....I am so so sorry about Buddy....I know you are going to miss him terribly...I ache to see Tim just one more time. If you need to talk, or if there is anything I can do, please PM me and I will send you my tel. #.... You are such a wonderful inspiration to me...know that you are in my heart and prayers... Love, Kathy

Shannon.... I was so glad to see you post...you have no idea how many times I have thought of you since I lost Tim in October..you were my role model. I know from your posts and your determination how much you loved Mike and now I know first hand what that pain is like. No one can begin to imagine it unless they have been there. I am trying to focus on my grandchildren- Tyler who is 21 months and Madison who is 13 months and the twins that will be born in February...we found out that it's a boy and a girl and they are naming the girl Hayley and the boy Brandon Timothy- Timothy after his granddad. Our niece (Tim's sister's daughter) had a baby in November..and after being told through all the ultrasounds, Timothy Antonio Perez was born... So I like you try to see all the wonderful things in my life that I would never have had if I had not been Tim's wife...17 years was not enough, but I am so glad we had what we did together. I am doing a lot of fundraising to improve the patient and family areas on the oncology floor at UMass and my next project is the treatment area at the cancer center. I feel the best way I can honor Tim is to do as much as he and I could do together...that way I don't just even the score, but cancer is the loser. Lori.... Hang in there...I know exactly how you feel...so does Shannon...no one, not your family or friends know what this is like..they try and they mean well, but the have no idea the depth of it. Try to remember only the good memories. I found myself replaying the last week of Tim's life over and over and it was making me worse...so now when I start to think about it, I mentally stop myself and make myself remember something from before he got sick. I take it a day at a time..try to stay as busy as possible...and yes, cry alot. But I have to go on..I promised Tim and I know that's what he wanted...I am sure your husband wanted the same for you. If you ever need to talk, I am here .... Kathy

Dean.... God bless you ! That advice was the most perfect thing I have ever heard ! I had to deal with this from my stepsons...they feel they are "owed" something even though they were never there for their dad. But you are absolutely right in what you said..and I also firmly believe in "what goes around comes around ! Kathy

Paggy... Thank you for writing what you did and being so honest with your emotions...I for one understand completely what you are going through. I lost my husband October 12th and I think it's the flashbacks to his last week that hurt the most. He had brain mets and 3 days before he died he went to say something to me and it came out all jumbled up..the scared look on his face haunts me. I am so glad that I was able to keep him at home until the end..he wanted to die here...but I would never wish what I saw or went through that last week on anyone. My husband put up such a brave battle only to be tossed down again and again..he never got a break. I know he is in a better place, but I miss him so darn much..I can't even begin to describe it. And NO ONE understands, not his family, not my family or our friends...only the ones here like yourself that have been through this can begin to know what it is like. God bless.... Kathy

Paggy... Thank you for writing what you did and being so honest with your emotions...I for one understand completely what you are going through. I lost my husband October 12th and I think it's the flashbacks to his last week that hurt the most. He had brain mets and 3 days before he died he went to say something to me and it came out all jumbled up..the scared look on his face haunts me. I am so glad that I was able to keep him at home until the end..he wanted to die here...but I would never wish what I saw or went through that last week on anyone. My husband put up such a brave battle only to be tossed down again and again..he never got a break. I know he is in a better place, but I miss him so darn much..I can't even begin to describe it. And NO ONE understands, not his family, not my family or our friends...only the ones here like yourself that have been through this can begin to know what it is like. God bless.... Kathy

Candy...I understand !!! I am experiencing the same thing..as a matter of fact, tonight I had to go to Tim's nephew's wedding that WE were supposed to go to together...and everyone said how my sister-in-law told them how "well" I am handling this. They should see me when I am here in the house alone...I think that opinion of how I am doing would be different. I miss Tim so much..and I know what you are going through. Hang in there for Hugh..he would want you to be ok..that is all that is keeping me going..that promise I made to Tim that I would be alright (sometimes I curse myself for making that promise !) Love, Kathy [/u][/b]

Roseanne... It was so good to hear from you. I lost Tim October 12th...we had 10 months after his diagnosis. Your post made me believe that I will go on...and I WILL miss him for the rest of my life. But I plan on volunteering on the cancer floor at the hospital (taking a month before I go back), my niece and her husband and their 3 beautiful girls, Christina, Taylor and Courtney are back in my life after 9 years and Aunt Kathy is intending to spoil them rotten. I go back to work Monday. It still feels so strange that one day he was here and the next he was gone. But I feel his presence and it is so comforting... Please keep in touch..... Kathy

This is what I wrote that was read at Tim's Memorial Service...just wanted to share. The picture is how I want to remember him ...... My husband was the bravest man I know. Through 10 months of chemotherapy, radiation, pain and fear, he never once complained, never once asked why….he just wanted to enjoy life no matter what. He fought with everything he had. Even before he got sick, Tim always took life one day at a time and enjoyed every moment. Whether it was time with his family and friends, playing softball with the guys, vacations at Salisbury beach or working in the yard, he made each and every second count. He taught me many things about life, but most importantly he was my balance, always there to steady me and show me how life should be lived. He was a wonderful father who loved his sons and his grandkids, an amazing husband and a terrific friend. Everyone loved Tim’s sense of humor and no matter how sick he got, he never lost that. The week before he died, our friend Michele came over to visit and she said “Tim, I had a dream about you”…and before she could tell him what the dream was about he laughed and said “Michele, your timing stinks”. Tim always had a smile for everyone and he made friends every where we went. I was always lucky growing up…I had a wonderful loving close family. Because of Tim, that family has grown. He made me part of his amazing family….two step-sons Ben and Tony and two perfect grandkids, Tyler and Madison. My mother-in-law Margaret, who stood by me taking care of him, and his brothers, sisters, nieces and nephews that I can never repay for their love and devotion to Tim and to me. I hope they all realize how much I love them. Tim will be missed by his family and friends and by everyone his life has touched…. I know he is looking down on us and he knows he was loved. Tim, I miss you so much, but I made you a promise that I would be alright and I will try my best to keep my promise. I do know that you will never be far from me, as you will always be right here in my heart….every time I see the ocean you will only be a breath away….I love you forever…. You will never be forgotten Thanks for reading this and thanks for all your concern and support ...I would never have made it through the past 10 months without you all.... Kathy

Cheryl..... You are certainly in my prayers...I know how hard this is on you, so make sure you take care of yourself too. May God see it right to make Dick come out on the 50% side that we want..... I'll be thinking of you .... Kathy

It's been 5 days already and I cannot begin to tell you how much I miss Tim...his sense of humor, his laugh, his smile and my hugs....I have no idea how I am going to to this every day from now on. I know he is in a better place and not suffering anymore...but what I would not give to see him just one time the way he was before he got sick. To any of you that have lost a husband..or wife...how do you do it ? It is unbearable..... Kathy

Timothy A. Jewell, 54 WORCESTER- Timothy A. Jewell, 54 of Worcester formerly of Northboro and Framingham died Sun. Oct. 12th in his home after a long battle with lung cancer. Tim is survived by his wife of 16 years Kathleen A. (Proctor) Jewell, his sons Anthony of Ashland and Benjamin of Lowell; his mother, Margaret (McCabe) Jewell in Lawrence; his sisters, Suzanne Burns of Natick, Mariellen West of Marlboro and Andrea Acosta of Lawrence; brothers, John Jewell in Holliston and Robert Healey in Framingham; his two grandchildren, Tyler and Madison, who will miss him greatly; his mother-in-law Anna Proctor in Methuen; nieces and nephews. A brother, Steven Jewell predeceased him. Tim was born in Framingham; his father was the late Raymond Jewell. He graduated from Framingham North High School and served two tours of duty with the U.S. Navy in Vietnam. Prior to his illness Tim worked as a technician at Wind River Environmental in Hudson and was once a long time employee-tending bar at the Marlboro Holiday Inn. Tim loved baseball and played for the Holiday Inn Team "The Classics" as a pitcher in the Marlboro Men's Softball League and for PJ's Pub in the Worcester League. Throughout his illness, Tim was more concerned with the comfort of others that were fighting cancer more than he was about himself. A Memorial Service will be held Sunday Oct. 19th at 2 pm in the Mercadante Funeral Home & Chapel, 370 Plantation St. Burial of ashes will be at the convenience of the family. Friends and family may call from 1 to 2 pm Sunday Oct. 19th. In keeping with Tim's wishes, Memorial donations in his memory may be made to improve the family waiting area on the Oncology floor at Umass Memorial medical center, South 5, at Umass Memorial Foundation, P.O. Box 2795, Worcester 01613. This is what was in todays Worcester paper.... Kathy

My brave beautiful husband lost his battle this morning at 10:50 AM...I am so heartbroken..family and friends are here and I am going through the motions, but I have no idea how to go on.... That man was everything to me, but most of all my best friend..not once did he complain through the past 10 months. At his request, we are doing over the family waiting room on the oncology floor at UMass Memorial Medical Center to make it a more comforting place....it will be done in Tim's memory. I am just glad he is out of all the pain and suffering....I still want to wake up from the nightmare.... Love to you all... Kathy

Candy, You know my heart is breaking for you....looks like Tim and Hugh will be together soon...Tim has been in an out of conciensous all day. I regret that we never got to meet up for dinner, the four of us because I think Tim and Hugh would have gotten along fantasticly (we alreadly know we do !) I hope that somehow God gives you some peace...knowing that the suffering is over... You know I am thinking of you....I have been sleeping on the couch besides Tim's hospital bed and when I lie there and think, you and Hugh are always present and in my prayers... You know I am here for you... Love, Kathy

I got a message from Candy last night..Hugh had gone into the hospital on Tues 9/17, the same day as Tim, with pneumonia and he lost his brave battle this past Sunday....I will let Candy post the rest...I just wanted you all to know....my heart is breaking for her.... This was in the Berkshire Eagle..... Hugh I. Page Jr. RICHMOND -- Hugh I. Page Jr., 59, died Sunday at Berkshire Medical Center in Pittsfield. Born in Stockbridge on Dec. 29, 1943, son of Hugh I. and Margaret Wilson Page, he was a 1961 graduate of the former Williams High School. He enlisted in the Marines and was stationed at Camp Lejeune, N.C. Mr. Page was employed as a landscaper with Farley Land Design in Stockbridge. He also had worked as a mechanic for the former Mass. Energy and Oil, Donovan Construction, William's Construction and the town of Tyringham. He was a volunteer with the Richmond Fire Department, an avid hunter, fisherman, boater and car racing fan. He and his wife, the former Candace Pease, were married June 22, 1979, in Pittsfield. Besides his wife, he leaves three sons, Hugh J. Page of West Stockbridge, and Jamie Page and Jeremy Page, both of Richmond; two brothers, David Page of West Stockbridge and Robert Page of Pittsfield; and five grandchildren. Another son, Randy Page, died July 6, 2000. FUNERAL NOTICE -- Services for Hugh I. Page Jr., who died Sunday, Sept. 28, 2003, will be conducted Friday, Oct. 3, at 11 at the BIRCHES-ROY FUNERAL HOME by the Rev. Anne Alvord. Family will receive friends Thursday, Oct. 2, from 4 to 7 at the funeral home. In lieu of flowers, expressions of sympathy in Hugh's memory may be made to the American Cancer Society in care of the funeral home, 33 South St., Great Barrington, MA 01230. Kathy

I AM GETTING WORRIED ! KATHY