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I only started writting here a few weeks ago but found being here some comfort. I am new and my mom's lung cancer was found on January 29th. That was the day my father had emergency surgery and then passed away in the hospital on hospice (gangrene in 30 ft of his intenstine). My mom's fight was a hard one-but not long in time. It sure was long for us because we did not want to see her suffer. My heart is honestly broke. I took her to the hospital at 2 am on Monday morning. We had hospice at my home but mom wanted to go to the hospital. I really do not think she wanted to die here with her three grandchildren. She was so very close to us. I can't even put into words the relationship my three children had with their nana. My mom was unconscious for most of her time in the hospital. On Tuesday morning she opened her eyes and looked right at me. I said to her "Mom, your eyes are open and you are looking at me." She took a deep breath and passed on. My best friend is gone. I can't tell you what it is like. No one knows this until they go through it themselves. Losing my dad on Feb 23rd and my mom on May 22 is one of the hardest things I will ever go through. I know we will be all right-by the grace of GOd-but it sure hurts. I loved my mom more than anyone will ever understand. Her life was not easy...but I am glad she did not really suffer long and that only I was there. It meant something to me that she looked at me and I was there for her til the end. I wish you all the best-those who have hope and those who have uncertainty. God will be there for you...I pray for all of you. Thank you for sharing this special place with me. Lisa

Well, mom is going down hill. Now I think she has pneumonia-not really sure but she has the chills and mucous building up which chokes her. I wonder if the lung cancer or tumor is pressing on the esophagus as she vomits daily and now chokes when eating and drinking. I am bringing her to my house, think I need to contact our pastor...maybe she needs to talk to someone too. She isn't religious and believes we all are in hell now and that we will go to a better place when we die. No true help from my sister or brother...they are wrapped up in their own problems. I do not think my mom will make it to the shore on the 28th. I ask for your prayers for her. I hope she makes it there and back. I have a great husband and kids but sometimes feel so alone. There is so much unknown. Wonder if I can get hospice in more now. Also-Sunday they delivered oxycodine and my mom took one-prescription was wrong and she was overmedicated (20 mg instead of 10). As for a grief councelor-When? Where do I find the time for that? And do I really want to face the truth? Thank you for listening to my rant and rambling.

I just lost my father on Feb. 23rd and on Jan 29th my mother was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma stage IV with mets. She is 76 and my best friend. I am having a hard time keeping it all together-my mom, my job, my kids, my husband, my family....It is something. My mom was given 2-6 months in January. Each week she is getting worse. Vomiting, losing weight, coughing and gagging, weak and just fading away. She has a dever pneumex tube from her lung that I drain daily. She is on hospice. we are taking her to the shore on the 28th one last time to watch the ocean. I am afraid she won't last 4 weeks. I am afraid of it all. How do I help my children thru this when I can't help myself. I am now medicated (paxil) and I took myself off of the sleeping pills due to headaches. I feel lost and I hate seeing my mom like this. Maybe I should contackt the grief counselor from hospice. I wish I could just wake up from this nightmare.