lynne

Well, finally got the bumper stickers going! I never could get anyone to totally donate getting them printed...so I am paying for them to be printed! Kinko's did donate the document creation fee which was nice. I have 1000 bumper stickers which simply say "CANCER SUCKS" on them printed. They will be ready in a week or less. All proceeds will go to the Relay for Life Walk on June 4-5 in our town of Wichita Falls. Anyone wanting a bumper sticker, please email me privately and I will send you my address. All I ask if for a donation to Relay for Life and a self-addressed stamped envelope to return it to you in so I don't have to pay for postage and keep up with addresses! Thanks...pass this on to anyone dealing with this horrid disease. Lynne

Sorry that it has been such a long time since I posted. Life has not been easy for several months now. Dean's condition continued to worsen over the last few months. He went on Iressa, but without any results. He was admitted to Hospice on the Saturday before Easter and left this earth for a better place on early Sunday morning April 25th. It has not been easy, but Bethany and I are continuing to get out of bed in the mornings, and trying to continue where our lives left off seven months ago. The older kids are coping as well as can be expected. Our daughter will graduate on May 15th, and she is having a hard time knowing that her dad won't be there to see her graduate from college. Life goes on.... My prayers will continue for all of you battling this horrible disease! Lynne

Thanks. We had our photos taken on the "spur of the moment" at Wal Mart a few weeks ago. Not dressed up, no makeup....etc! This is our daughter, Bethany, 8 years old, with us. She is a "Daddy's girl" big time! Lynne

Thank all of you for your support, suggestions and encouragement. Dean is feeling much better. The radiology doctor gave him the remainder of the week off from radiation. It is already helping! He had chemo yesterday, but because his platelets were low, he only got the Navelbene. At least his rbc was up to 11.4! First time it has broken 10 in ages! He is feeling so much better. Thanks again for everything! Lynne

Sorry that I have not posted in a while. Not even sure where I left off! Well, we are "holding on" and trying to remain positive despite everything. I have continued to pray for all of you. Sorry to read that so many new people are having to seek these message boards for information, hope and help! Dean had a CT a couple of weeks ago. The CT showed only "slight" shrinkage in the main tumor in the right lung, no shrinkage, and growth in the midsternum lymph nodes and two lymph nodes under the right clavicle that were not infected before are now growing and infected. Good news was that the brain MRI came back negative and the pelvic CT came back clear also! So...it is spreading but still all within the chest area. They have changed his chemo from Taxotere and Carboplatin to Navelbene and Cisplatin. He only got the Navelbene last week because his blood count was too low on both white and red. He was again admitted to the hospital Monday for two more units of blood. This makes 12 units of packed red blood cells he has had to get since end of September! The hematologist/onocologist explained that he is anemic because his cancer releases a chemical that kills the red blood cells. Add chemo to that and he has no chance at not being anemic! He is feeling bad most days....taking alot of pain meds. He is having throat spasms from the radiation so they have discontinued the radiation treatments for the remainder of the week to give it a chance to heal some. Because of the spread of the lymph nodes, they have had to expand the area of radiation. His entire chest from nipples inward and half way up his throat are not being radiated. It is a very large area to have radiation to, but he did not have a choice since it had quit responding to chemo! Hopefully the break from radiation for a few days will help. The slurry/swish and swallow helps some with eating, but not with the spasms he has. He has the spasms probably every 10-15 minutes, day and night! Just been busy with hospital visits, doctor appointments, work and etc..etc..etc.! Add the fact that I have lost my job as of Feb. 1 because of missing too much work! He had told me when this all started that "don't worry about missing work, if you can work 10 hours a week, fine.."your job will be waiting on you when you return".... Apparently he has forgotten he said that! Apparently from checking, I SHOULD be eligable for unemployment! One blessing...plus now I won't feel guilty for missing work on days when Dean is feeling bad! Trying to remain positive...and optimistic! Lynne

Liz, Sorry that you are even having to go through with this...no one deserves cancer....especially lung cancer! Remaining positive is always a plus, but often MUCH easier to say than to do. I do not have cancer, my husband does, but I know that even I cry and get worried over every "little" change, ache, or pain that he has. I don't let him see me cry, but none the less, I do. I pray, try to stay as upbeat as possible for him and pray for that miracle and a cure! You may also want to talk to your physician about an antidepressant. It would not do any harm, and might be able to take the edge off where you could relax and enjoy life, and not be in a constant state of crying, sad and worried. Hope 2004 is a MUCH better year for you! Prayers for peace, strength and courage for you. Lynne

Cameron, I am so grateful that you were able to be with your mother in her last prescious moments, grateful that she did not suffer long...and grateful that she got her last wish. I am sorry that she has left you and your dad ....I know that you both will miss her terribly. My sympathy and prayers be with you both as you struggle to get through the difficult days, weeks and months ahead. Lynne

Dean is feeling much better...day by day since he got out of the hospital he is stronger. He was up to going Christmas shopping last night! We have had second and third opinions. We went to Dallas and saw a thoracic surgeon and onocologist there. Same treatments recommended...same theory on not being able to do surgery. Dean is on Taxotere and Carboplatin. He had an allergic reaction to the Taxol so they had to switch him to the Taxotere. Our onocology center works a great deal with MD Anderson. They do testing of new drug therapy. Charles (the person in research and testing) keeps abreast of new therapies, etc. We talk to him all the time! We are still hopeful....Dean said he is not planning on checking out anytime soon! He is shooting for breaking the 5 year survival record! We are ok...and holding our own!

Thank you all for the suggestions and support. I may have given you all the wrong impression of this doctor. Dean and I both really liked him....despite what he had to say. He was very straight forward and honest. He spent over an hour just talking to us. He did add that everyday there are new advances....that only God knows when our time is up...but that we did need to know what could/might happen. He said in 20 years they would look back on the treatments today and say we were very archaic! That there were many roads to improvement to make! Dean and I both like people to be honest..not sugar coat things. We want to know what we MIGHT have to face....but we both know that could also NOT happen. We are in much better spirits. In fact, Dean just called me on the phone about 10 minutes ago. He was very up....said the chemo and radiation both went very well. He was through by noon with both. Said he felt really good! He is meeting our grown daughter for lunch at a Japanese restaurant for lunch today. We both have a VERY strong faith ....we know only God has the answers..but we also want to know what we might be faced with while doing chemo and radiation...we both want to know what kind of odds we are facing...THEN when we beat the odds...we will feel even that much happier...if we don't beat the odds...well,....we will face that if/when it happens. Lynne

Dean has been having chest pain for months, but on Sunday morning and early early Monday morning he had a 'different kind' of chest pain. He had been given Nitro by the onocologist a month or so ago to take for chest pain to see if it might be cardiac related but he had never taken it because he just did not think it was. Well, Sunday, the pain was different, so he took one. It stopped the pain....Then at 5am Monday, the pain started again....again it was relieved by the Nitro. He called the doctor on Monday. They have set him up with a cardiologist for Friday. Today, Dean and I saw the radiation doctor. They are starting radiation therapy this Thursday.. He will have it monday through Friday, for 7 to 71/2 weeks because the tumors are no longer responding to the chemo the way they want it to. The area they will be radiating is very large...the entire chest sternum area...and rib cage. He said it would "kill' the cancer or hopefully kill it..., but that adenocarcinoma is notorious for moving to bones, brain or liver. He wants to do an MRI to make sure that the brain is clear. He said that a CT of the brain is really not sufficient...that you really need an MRI of the brain to be certain. A PET scan of the brain is not as good as an MRI because the brain using glucose to work anyway, so it would be inconclusive. Not sure when they will do the MRI. He starts the radiation on Thursday morning, along with chemo on the same day. The chemo will now be smaller doses every Thursday instead of large doses every 3 weeks. He said the radiation can only be done once....if it works, wonderful..if not, that is it. He also said it would damage the heart.....but we would not notice any damage for possibly 5 years...then added something to the effect that we would probably not have to worry about the heart damage. He then said that lung cancer has less than a 5% survival rate for five years. He was note ven encouraging for 5 years...that is for patients whose lung cancer is caught much earlier than Dean's. He said it would not "cure" him...that lung cancer is just not a good cancer and they really cannot do alot,especially when it is this extensive. Dean left there very very down....so did I.....We had hopes that the radiation would really do the trick....now we know that it will only buy us some time....which we had already been told,...but did not want to believe. He said it would also do damage to the trachea, esophagus..etc. ..but we don't have a choice. The lymph nodes around the trachea and esophagus are already extensive and big..and causing pressure on them already. If we don't try this, they will continue to grow and shut down the trachea and Dean will suffocate to death. He showed us the ct pictures and showed us the lymph nodes....trachea..etc. and how they are surronded. It looked like the trachea and esophagus were a small pipe in the middle of a rock pile....for lack of a different way to describe it. We have no choice but to do radiation..... Lynne

Dean is home, finally...after 7 days in the hospital! The doctor is switching his chemo to smaller doses weekly to hopefully prevent his bottoming out again in blood counts. PLUS..they will be doing daily (Monday through Friday) radiation treatments to his chest area as he put it getting more aggressive with treatments. The original tumor shrank 30% on the first ct and the lymph nodes had shrank some but not as much. The tumor from 'xrays' shows to be stable now, not growing but not shrinking that he could tell from xrays) plus the lymph nodes are not shrinking and are still extensive over the chest wall. He said that there would be alot of complications from the radiation...sore/burned esophagus (which will mean eating lots of malts/shakes and smoothies)...weakness..etc. He will get the radiation daily...plus chemo on Mondays. Not sure how I will work all this out with work, but hopefully God will show us a way.... I am so glad that he is home...and so is he! We are spending a quiet weekend at home watching Christmas movies and holding each other! Lynne

Mo, Thanks for sharing. It is always encouraging to hear positive stories! Gives me renewed hope! Lynne

Dean was admitted to the hospital again (3rd time since September) on Sunday evening. He had a temp of 102, difficulty breathing, chest pain, and a right arm that was so swollen and so sore that he could hardly move it. It had a hard knot from the shoulder to the elbow and then another hard knot under the arm-pit area. They have decided that he has pneumonia again...at least two blood clots and a possible third in his right calf area. They had had him on Lovenox injections at home, slowly switched him to Coumadin and then the blood clots returned. They put him back on Lovenox in the hospital but the clots were not responding fast enough so they put him on a Heprin drip which seems to be helping (not fast enough to suite me...but at least it is working). He is on two different antibiotics via the IV....the heprin drip, breathing treatments..etc. He is finally feeling better! Monday he was AWFUL. I stayed with him all day Monday, never even made it to work. Tuesday, he was slightly better, went in to work for a few hours...then Wednesday he was quiet a bit better. Today he is still having trouble breathing, but his arm is better. They have given him 3 units of packed red blood cells which really seemed to help! I hate this disease more and more every day...but I thank God for every day we have..and pray for that miracle! Lynne

Dragongif, Welcome to the boards. Hope that you will be able to find the information and strength and encouragement that you need here. These are wonderful people....and it does help to talk to others that really understand! Lynne

Paula, Glad that you are able to be there and support your mother. That is always a huge plus for the fighters of this horrible disease! She sounds like a strong-willed strong mother!! If you need to talk, we are here..... Wish we could have met under different circumstances. Lynne