kimd

Heaven gained another angel, but I'm sure you were the angel to your dad during the past few months. I also lost my dear dad to SCLC and don't visit the board much anymore, but like your experience they helped me through tough times and gave me much knowledge about SCLC. May God grant you comfort during this difficult time. Cherish all the memories and share them with your little one!

Bobby: I visit this site periodically to check on folks and see if there's any new treatments, etc. w/SCLC. As you can see, my dad went through treatments and battled to the very end. He was one who said many years ago that he probably wouldn't go through chemo if there wasn't a good chance he would make it. When the dr told him only 5% chance of survival for him and wouldn't even commit to a timeframe, he was upset but said let's do all we can and had a great positive attitude (and even kept a sense of humor through chemo and radiation). He had good days and bad days (the "rollercoaster ride") but none of my family would have traded the extra time with him. His extra time gave us another Thanksgiving and Christmas. Time to teach his youngest grandson how to play checkers (my son) since he had taught all the others. Time to play his fiddle and mandolin on Christmas for us. Time for us to come together as a family, realize we're mortal and become closer than we ever had before. It gave our family time to prepare to say goodbye. We talked openly about his illness and dealt with things one day at a time. He was a very tough fighter and a gentle giant. May your family be blessed with many memories ahead!

Holly: I know it took courage for you to post the news about your Mom. She would be so proud of you that you remembered to honor her wishes. May God give you comfort during this difficult time for you and your family but know your Mom is now watching over you and still protecting you. I'm sure she's also still listening to you somehow. You're a very strong, courageous 15-year old!

To all those who have lost a loved one (so many of us): I was missing my dad today and searched for something inspirational to give me comfort and I found this. It helped me and thought I'd share with all of you. Maybe some of you have seen it before, maybe it's been posted before, but it's a beautiful poem. . . Letter From Heaven To my dearest family and friends, some things I'd like to say ... but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay. I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above. Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love. Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight. Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night. That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through, God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you. It's good to have you back again; you were missed while you were gone. As for your dearest family, they'll be here later on. I need you here badly; you're part of my plan. There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man." God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do. And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you. And when you lie in bed at night, the day's chores put to flight. God and I are closest to you ... in the middle of the night. When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years, because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears. But do not be afraid to cry; it does relieve the pain. Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain. I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned. But if I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand. But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is over. I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before. There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb; but together we can do it by taking one day at a time. It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too ... that as you give unto the world, the world will give to you. If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain, then you can say to God at night ... "My day was not in vain." And now I am contented ... that my life has been worthwhile, knowing as I passed along the way, I made somebody smile. So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low, just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go. When you're walking down the street, and you've got me on your mind; I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind. And when it's time for you to go ... from that body to be free, remember you're not going ... you're coming here to me. by Ruth Ann Mahaffey © 1998-2001

May you find comfort in memories of your dad -- the special times. I am so sorry for your loss and share in your pain. When I am really missing my dad (which I seem to have been thinking of him so much lately), I start remembering the special times and how he raised me to be strong. I made promises to him before he passed away and strive to achieve those. I think he helps keep me focused. Sometimes you truly feel their guardian angel presence. Seemed like I had car problems right after my dad passed away and the few times I was stranded, I was always in a safe place. I just had to smile and thank my dad as he was a fanatic about maintaining his car. I felt that he kept me safe from harm. You will find warm thoughts in the days ahead that will make you feel close to him again. Hang onto those warm memories and they will give you some peace and comfort. May God comfort you and your family.

Just saw this post and it gave me goose bumps. Dancing with Dad -- the things you think you will be able to do forever and that they'll always be here. Wanted to share a special gift I received. My dad's sister passed away six months after he did. When they went through photos to give to our family, there it was -- me dancing with my dad at my wedding reception over 20 years ago! It was a polaroid my aunt took and I will cherish it forever. You see, my photographer forgot to take the picture at our reception of me dancing with dad. I still think Dad had a hand in me getting the picture. So when I saw this topic, I just thought I had to share this special gift I received after Dad passed.

Friends: I haven't posted for quite some time, but I still visit the board. I need your expert advice. I've seen postings about Agent Orange and I know they have finally admitted there's a connection between this exposure and lung cancer. My mom is going to file a claim with the VA since my dad was too ill to do so when he was diagnosed. He was a 23-year Army vet who served in both 'Nam and Korea. After diagnosis his onc said he had "never seen such a fast-growing cancer" such as my dad had. My dad was taking Lamosil and was exposed to Agent Orange. He made me promise him if there was ever any association with either of these to make sure my mom would receive any benefits due her. The VA office told her that the onc would have to write a report. Have any of you been through this and could offer any suggestions? Rather than a phone call to dad's onc, my mom and I thought we would visit him in person to discuss the report. Any advice would be appreciated. You all have always been a great support team and know you'll come through. You know they say time heals, but my dad's been gone a little over 19 months now and I STILL miss him every day -- he was a wonderful person and role model for many. I know many of you feel the same and when I visit here, it gives me comfort and peace knowing others are there!

As Christmas was approaching this year, I felt so much pain knowing my dad wouldn't be here with my family and what a void that left. I didn't send out cards, shopping wasn't fun and it was hard to get into the spirit of things. Last Wednesday morning, someone broke into three houses in my nieghborhood and stole purses and wallets, one being my home. When I found my purse a few days later, money was gone and my cell phone but credit cards and misc were left. My "I love you Dad" medal that I gave my father was also gone (guess they thought it was change). I carried this with me everyday since my mom gave it back to me after my dad passed away. I just thanked God that me and my family weren't hurt because we were home asleep when they came into my house (through locked doors). Then the blizzard hit! Mind you I lived in Alaska during my childhood and had my fill of snow then! Both our cars were stuck in the drive and had to have one towed out (with limited funds since I had to cancel credit cards, close bank acct, etc.). Christmas was cancelled with my in-laws since we couldn't get to them Christmas Eve w/road conditions. Christmas Day we got to my mom's and went through the motions. I stayed the night with my mom and started feeling kinda rough that night. By Monday morning, I am at doc's office with full-blown bronchitis that was headed into pneumonia but I caught it in time. By now, I am having a real pity-party for myself and WHY ME? Then it hit me how truly blessed I am. I have a wonderful, loving family and great friends. I get to wake up each day with a roof over my head and live in the greatest country in the world. My loved ones that are gone will forever live on through me. See, it's our responsibility to see that they're always alive through our voices. I am also lucky that God was watching over my family when my house was broken into and He listens to all my problems and helps me through the tough times. I am truly blessed with two wonderful sons, 15 and 8 who are going to be great humanitarians! They are very loving, giving children and also very academically blessed. I keep telling you guys my little one wants to be a scientist and find a cure for cancer. So when he keeps mixing things in the house, drags water everywhere and makes messes, I smile and think what a wonderful scientist he will be! You guys were all so great when my dad was ill and I silently visit for inspiration on down days. Keep up the faith and inspiration for others! By the way -- if any of you caught the Montel show today, Sylvia (the psychic) was on. She predicted a cure for lung cancer in 2005. Let's hold her to it! Blessings to everyone for a peaceful and inspirational New Year!

Dr. Joe: I admire what it takes to deal with this disease every day. My dad was fortunate to have a good onc (even though family members sometimes wondered why we weren't traveling the country looking for the "miracle") and was so touched that when he first told us about my dad's illness, he did so with teary eyes. I knew then that he cared about his patients and was so concerned about all of us. His ultimate goal was to give my dad "quality of life" during his illness and he did just that. Welcome and God Bless you and your family. With a father who was gone so much in the Army, I know how the homefront can be when your dad's working a lot!

Welcome Kim (fellow Hoosier and same name)! My dad is gone now, but he was also diagnosed October last year. You're right, this is a special group of people and you will get great advice here and the latest updates on this disease. Don't know how I would have made it through my dad's illness without their support. Sounds like your Mom is a wonderful person and will pray for her!

Renee: I am so sorry about Scott and that I didn't post sooner. I obviously haven't been on the board for a few weeks and was so upset that I missed your post. Sounds like Scott went very peacefully and I am so glad you were there with him. He was surrounded by loved ones. I wanted to try to attend Scott's funeral and I'm so sorry that I wasn't there to support you. I hope God is helping you get through the tough days you have ahead of you and please stay in touch with the folks here. It really does help to be able to share your story to help others gain knowledge about what this disease is about. Scott is at peace and may you find comfort in that. God Bless!

Shelly: You're being a tremendous help to your sister whether you realize it or not and she's very lucky to have you at her side. I know it's hard to stay positive, but I also feel that your sister is going to beat this! Am praying hard for both of you! I always admire your honesty and especially the strength you have had this past year in being there for so many people. When I start to feel down about losing my dad, I come to this board for inspiration and words of wisdom from so many. We have a very tough, brave group here!

Renee: So glad for the update -- was really worried about you and Scott. Still in my prayers and truly enjoy Scott's time at home. Sounds like he is very glad to be home and that's what's important. Bless you both and remember people are here when you need them.

Kitty: So sorry for your loss and the pain you are going through. I pray that God gives you and your family peace and comfort during this difficult time -- he did with me. You will make it through the days ahead somewhat in a fog and in a few weeks or a month, you will miss your dad even more. This is how it kicked in for me anyway. I still miss my dad terribly, but remember the good times, the funny times and special moments we shared. These memories are with you forever and will make you feel closer to him. God Bless!

My mom too had a visit from my dad. She was asleep and woke up abruptly like someone was lightly shaking her. She was a mist like a person and drifted back off to sleep only to be awoken again the same way. My dad has definitly been watching over us and has helped several of us with car issues make sure we broke down or had a flat in a safe place -- even my neice with a flat over the weekend in the pitch dark and stopped on the highway into the nearest parking lot (deserted road). Guess where she was --- a church parking lot and the minister was outside and he helped her. He even agreed she had a guardian angel because she had a pretty bad blown-out tire and could have been hurt!

Nandie: My dad was dxd in the midst of my nephew planning his wedding (my dad's first grandchild to wed). It was tough on all of us since he didn't last until the wedding. He passed away on 2/23 and this past weekend (8/28) my nephew's ceremony took place. Now for the good things about this. The wedding was at sunset on the beach at a lake. Forecase was for severe storms and especially in the evening. It rained on many people traveling to the wedding, at the bride's house (close to the wedding location) and other places, but the rain never touched the ceremony grounds. I talked to the bride a few hours before the wedding and she was so happy (over the phone) because she said my dad and her grandpa (who has also passed) were working really hard together to keep the rain away from that spot. Miracles truly do happen! Another blessing is that my neice had a baby girl born three weeks to the day my dad died. What surprised all of us is that we didn't know she was pregnant. She never had the big stomach and wore jeans and sweatshirts to hide the baby since she's a single mom. My dad passed away not knowing his first great grandchild was on the way, but we figured out that my neice suspected she was pregnant at the same time we found out about my dad's illness and she couldn't find the right time to tell anyone of her troubles. She's a brave girl! The baby is perfect, beautiful and our gift from God. She didn't replace my dad, but she reminds us of him and has kept my mom very busy. God surely does work in mysterious ways. Just wanted to share some positive thoughts your way!

Renee: Was out of town a few days and just read this about Scott. I pray that God gives you and your families strength during this very difficult time and also for comfort and peace for Scott. There is so much the meds can do to make Scott comfortable during this time and it's probably not so much dementia as it is all the meds making him disoriented and not himself. Even though this time is very difficult, try to remember the happy times and I promise it will bring a smile to your face. If you need to PM me, I'll be there for you. My dad didn't die at home, but in the hospital and it was really okay. We didn't want this at first, but it also took some of the caregiver pressure off my mom so she could enjoy more time with my dad. She still took care of him, but the meds weren't her responsibility. Do everything to keep Scott comfortable and many, many prayers are headed your way from my entire family.

Jane: Glad you're mending and please don't break anything else! Your spirit definitely isn't broken -- good for you! Stay strong and positive and hope you feel much better soon!

Sharon: Hope your dad's feeling better! Try to keep him positive (I know it's so very difficult) and joke with him as much as possible. Maybe something as simple as special childhood memories, etc. might perk him up a little. I tried to share special memories and ways that my dad affected me when I was little during his illness. He didn't have any idea some of the little things he did had such a profound impact on my life. We felt like we had special times to talk openly about his illness and there were days when he just wanted to talk about anything but his illness. I kept him amused with funny things my children had done or about all the crazy drivers on the road (he knew I had a little road rage at times). Enjoy the good and bad days and if you don't see any change next week, I would not wait until his next visit. My dad had some changes fairly quickly and he really had a gut feeling that things were changing and he couldn't stay ahead of the cancer anymore. The oncs sometimes think that a few weeks won't matter, but we've seen too many examples on this board that it doesn't take that long for change sometimes. Prayers and support headed your way and stay strong and positive!

Ginny: I think everyone has expressed what I feel as well. Words can't describe your loss, but may God give you strength to make it through this very difficult time. My dad's name was Earl so I always felt close to the Duke when reading your posts. You had a beautiful and loving relationship as did my parents and that's something you can keep and remember forever. God Bless you and comfort you.

Shelly: Seems hard to believe a year has passed and for me it's so close to being a year since my dad's diagnosis. You have had a very tough year and I pray that the year ahead brings you much happiness and you surely deserve it! I'm sure you feel like I do sometimes, pinch me and wake me up from this dream. They were all taken from us before we wanted them to go. Prayers for you, your sister and the rest of your family. God Bless!

Curtis: What a wonderful idea about the rings and what a keepsake for Katie! My mom is facing the same dilemna and I will take your idea to her and suggest she do something more with the rings as well. She hasn't taken hers off yet and don't know that she will anytime soon, but your idea will help her decide what to do with the rings down the road. Your strength and the way you are handling things has been an inspiration. I'm sure Becky couldn't have been any prouder!

Betty: I'm sure the hospital wasn't quite your planned evacuation but glad you are safe. So glad they caught this tumor early and are going after it aggressively and quickly. Will keep you in my prayers for wonderful results and for strength for you to deal with your treatments. You hang in there and keep us posted!

Abby: Your birthday is still important to many people who are still here to love and support you. My mom has many feelings similar to yours about wanting to trade places when my dad passed away, but that's just not what happened. If Jim were here and you were gone, he would feel the same way. We must go on for our loved ones as they would want us to continue living. Every special occasion is going to be very painful and then some days for no reason, BAM -- grief just comes for no apparent reason. Please try to enjoy some special moments with friends and family on your birthday! I'm sure Jim is with you very much in spirit and wishing you a happy birthday as well.

Pam: Just saw this and I'm sure you are already on your way to Texas. May God grant you the strength to make it through the tough days ahead and also give you and your family comfort during this difficult time. Many of us here have lost our dear dads and grieve with you during this very hard time. We're here when you get back on-line!