SharKats

I'm so sorry about the news. I remember how I felt when I went from 4 being gone after new chemo regime to the re-scan and 15 to 20 being found in less than 6-7 weeks. I took a downward spiral. But I got so much encouragement, support and empathy from this Board that I was able to pull myself up and get ready for the WBR. (BTW, only 5 more to go). I too hope that if you are not already, you can begin anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications - they have done wonders for me, my mental state and outlook. Wishing you the best and remembering you in my prayers that you will have strength to fight and not let this awful disease get the best of you.

BRAVO! Great response to the judgemental, guilt-tripping PM'er. (I should say "attempted guilt tripper). It's most certainly a personal decision and not up for debate or ridicule or put-downs - it's your choice - your life. I know that if/when my disease runs out of options and it has spread to the point of no return, I will probably smoke again until it's "time". Altho I do have COPD and asthma - that may make it a little more difficult - but only time will tell. Again, great post!!!

Hi! He scheduled the upper GI at the same time of my WBR so I couldn't go. I've been to all the other appointments with him. He says "I'm on his back incessantly" and "making him crazy". Oh well................he's already half crazy - may as well go all the way. Thank you all again for the support and encouragement. This is THE most stressful time of my life and it's wonderful to be able to express these feelings to people who either have "been there" "are there" or understand what it would be like to "be there". God bless us one and all. The next time I post here I hope to be able to say all is normal and he's back to work and they haven't hired someone to take his place.

Remembering you in my prayers Betty. May God watch over you and keep you in His care. Warm & Gentle Hugs, dear lady.

Just a quick update: After weeks of Hal being in an almost canatonic state, I managed to get him to a doctor who prescribed Welbutrin. Hal refused to take them - so, finally got his daughters to come down and see him. (they didn't believe me because he "sounded just fine on the phone.") My sister had spoken with a psychologist who said as a last resort, there were steps that could be taken should he prove to be a danger to himself, yada, yada. Well, when a 68 yr old man goes for days without eating and some days without drinking, I'm thinking he could very well be a danger to himself and I was heading down the involuntarily commitment lane. The girls'2-day visit, along with all of us seeing the cancer counseler/social worker in addition to a long talk at home, got him to agree to take his anti-depressants. Since he had been having severe stomach problems, I scheduled an appt w/a different doctor who took him off the Welbutrin (she said it was ridiculous to have him on an anti-depressant that would take 4 to 6 wks to work when he so obviously needed help sooner.) He has been taking them so there has been some improvement; his concentration and focus has surfaced - to an extent, but we're still not there yet. I have just about decided I have done all I can and the rest is up to him. My worry bag is over-flowing and as it turns out, all the worrying in the world isn't going to help anyone who does not choose to help themself. (or is it selves?) So, still hoping and praying we're going forward and not backward and that his job is still there waiting for him. PS. He was scheduled for an upper GI this AM at this medical campus near THE medical center. He was back home in 3 hours and it turns out he never "found the place." Now he has a cell, paperwork with the phone number, and there are a lot of places to stop and ask directions. I understand it is a HUGE facility. Hummmmmmmmmm.......... did I say I hoped we were on a forward roll here?

I think it's time for this particular oncologist to hang up his shingle and retire. To have such a defeatest attitude with a patient is just wrong! I mean how discouraging to hear those statements from an oncologist. Run don't walk to another doctor sounds like EXCELLENT advice to me. Gosh, it makes me so angry to hear about incidents like this........ Wishing your Dad all the best - I will remember him in my prayers.

I second everyone's posts - good wishes and I will be hoping they will find the optimal way to treat this stubborn thing. God bless you and your family!

Hi! I think the worst part was the initial meeting with my radiation onc and getting all the details, then the simulation and making of the mask. It had been such an ordeal having the body cast made for the chest radiation, that this went by really fast. It was certainly a weird sensation having that wet, rubbery stuff dry on your face. I asked her to please make the nose "hole" really large. I took an Antivan Monday about an hour prior and it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. I just had an image of everything being literally scrambled - like eggs - and I would have a forever head tilt. I don't know quite where I get these visualizations. This was day #3 and I can tell the level of anxiety will be maintained through-out but it's certainly do-able. I want to thank you and everyone on this board who encouraged me and gave me strength to not obsess over this WBR. Half the battle was won by your calming influences and previous experiences. THANK YOU!!!!

Jen, I am so sorry to hear about this and I can truly say I know exactly how you feel. I was given a resounding NED - looks like long term survivor and then a month later it was oh, you've got mets to your brain. I remember feeling like I was just spiraling down to the bottom of a deep well and wasn't sure I wanted to come up again. It just throws you into dispair for a while. But with my friends and family's encouragement and prayers, I decided I had nothing to lose by getting back up out of that bottomless hole and not letting the beast win - not win yet anyway. And he's not going to win by my not fighting - he'll have to play fair. I don't know if these analogies make much sense right now but I really did have to work hard emotionally and mentally to get back in a "good" place and push away the fear, anger and disappointment. I'll be praying for you and I am sending you a big cyber hug of encouragement. God bless you!

Raising hand - today was my 3rd WBR. I have a total of 15 so it will be good to get week one marked off the calendar. I don't feel any differently now altho tired because I still haven't totally recovered from the chemo I was on just prior to starting this. I hope I don't get hit really hard at the end of the WBR as some of you did. Let's those of us who are currently having this lovely treatment post right here if we have anything unusual or just share our experiences. I don't like the mask but I had prepared myself for it as best I could and my onc gave me Antivan - maybe that's helping keep me calm. The decadron is making me grow extra chins so I think that mask is gonna be pretty darn tight by the 15th day. I just pray it's doing it's thing!

Sending best wishes to your Dad.

Wow! You're all done and recovering - that's great! I was going to welcome you and wish you the best before but sending out those same wishes anyway.

Oh my, I loved the Stuart Little movies but the husband was so, so...... um, not hot shall we say? I can't believe it's the same man! Now I have to watch Stuart Little again. Thanks for the info and wait until I tell my sister Karen.

I think I read somewhere that sclc is 99% due to smoking. With the patient on the show having had a sick child previously, I just couldn't see her as a former smoker. And I do wish they had revealed just a little bit more about the disease. I've been trying to reassure my husband that there's always hope, no matter the statistics and they are talking about how aggressive, immediate decision - which is all medically correct in her case I'm sure. I just didn't expect her to have SCLC and it was also hubby's first time to see the show. And I agree - kick off that nasty administrator and I also agree, House is hot, scruffy beard and all. (He's from England and I think he does a great job on the non-accent). My sister and I both are hooked on the show and the star - even tho he could be our son. I think they have some very interesting "diseases" and diagnostic procedures. It's not the same oh.........................

I will never forget the informative and comforting PM's you took the time to send me when I was so frightened and had just decided my mind could handle knowing more about this disease. Your dx was almost identical to mine and I sought you out for some info. I'm sure you had answered the same questions for many other people but you never made me feel as if I were bothering you - you were just so kind and comforting. I will always, always be grateful - you are indeed a hero to many, many people on this Board. May God keep you in His care - always!