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lovelife

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  1. Hi Everyone, I haven't been on this site in quite some time. I was so happy to see some people's posts who I had talked to in the past ..... Last I spoke to everyone my mother had passed away (December 2012) and my dad suddenly became ill... I don't know if I posted since then it has been the craziest two years.... Long story short my dad was too diagnosed with cancer right before my mother had past (she didn't know) and he passed away some months after mom....May of 2013. They were both so young and I miss them terribly. But I'm so happy and thankful they are both out of pain and are together at last. I hope you are all doing well! This website has always helped me & I wanted to say thank you for all your support last year. Thinking of all you, especially Susan Gamble she became a friend of mine on here, and I was emailing with her right before she had passed, she was an amazing lady, thankful to have met her along with all of you .... Have a wonderful day!!
  2. Hi Everyone, My name is Laurie. I have been on this site for well over one year now. I met a great friend here, (susan gamble) she passed not that long ago. She helped me tremendously as well as everyone else on this site. My mom passed on December 20th 2012. The cancer had spread to many places and no more treatment could be done. My mom faught till the end, the day I told her we were putting her on hospice, she said i'm not going to die. She wanted to keeping fighting, she is the strongest person I know. I'm so lucky to have had her in my life, i'm so grateful for every moment we spent together. Since her diagnosis a year and half ago I havent left her side. I enjoyed this past year or so, so much....we did everything together.... I never acted like she was dieng.....she never wanted that...she didnt ever want me to cry in front of her, b/c she wanted to stay strong... so i never cried not once..... even when she was dieing.... that was her wish..... inside i was crying.......I watched her suffer in the end and that was so difficult, I was ok with god taking her to heaven b/c i didnt want to see her in pain anymore... if she couldnt overcome this, i told god let her be at peace then....The saddest part, is that my dad took such great care of her, did everything for her, he loved her more then anything in the world, he kept her here for so long even when the first doctor thought she had limited time....she beat all the odds, and I believe my dad pulled her through all of this.... the last month when mom was in the hospital very sick, my dad was rushed to the hospital they believe he has liver cancer, he has not come home since, ironically they were both in the same hospital at one point for one week, and they were able to say goodbye to one another before mom was transported to hospice.....mom never knew that dad was that ill just told her it was pain from his hernia's.......maybe deep down she knew....mom passed and I went and told my dad in the hospital.... I feel so terrible for him....he couldnt be there by his wife's side or with us his family..... dad is still currently in hospital they are trying to transport him to a bigger hospital in the City but he is not stable yet, then even amputated his leg due to blockages and blood clots....feels like i'm living someone's else life or in a movie..... I'm going to try to stay strong, my mom was the strongest person I ever met and hope to be just like her and make her proud.... I talked to my mom about susan gamble all the time, I hope they meet in heaven. Thank you everyone for all your support, this site has helped me so very much and I'm so thankful for everyone's kinds words and support....and dont ever give up, my moms prognosis was very poor but she beat the odds for a year and half.....Hope everyone is doing well!! Laurie
  3. Hi Muriel, I believe they somewhat slowly took her off the steriods...but I cant be positive. My mom has terrible Arthritis and has had it since 1983. She was on Medication since then, a lot of different medicines, even gave herself injections.... and stopped all treatment for arthritis once diagnosed. I noticed last week her hands were swollen and I can tell it was the arthritis b/c thats what is always has done in the past. I just find it strange that the pain in now in her stomach, and she has such a hard time describing the feeling. She is actually getting scans done as I type.. Fingers crossed. Thanks for everyones support. Waiting is the absolute worst part...your mind really plays tricks on you. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving. I know I have a lot to be thankful for this year. ****Thinking of Susan Gamble and her family- I miss her. Laurie
  4. Thanks Diane & Rick for responding to my post. I feel so helpless I just want my mom to feel better. I was thinking kidney stones as well. Mom said the doctor didnt think so, which i was hoping it was something like that. Today is her appt, so she will get all her scans and hopefully figure out this mystery. It just seems after chemo session ended and off steriods she went down hill. She has done so great this past year it was just unbelievable. Until the two tumors formed in the brain last month..... Hopefully this is just a bump in the road for her, and she will continue on her road to recovery. Thanks for all your support its much needed and sooo much appreciated.... Hope you are both doing well!!
  5. Hi everyone, Mom has been off chemo since Ocober 2012. Her scans have been stable for a while now, until a reoccurence in the brain...she had gamma knife procedure done in october for the two new tumors.... That is when all chemo was stopped, especially that dr did chest xray on lungs and they were still clean. Since she is off chemo and steriods she is fatigued, weak, loss of appetite, I think depressed. I spoke to doctor said might be from coming off chemo and etc.. Since October I have heard her complain on/off about stomach ache and back pain, but then it went away so fast. According to her....Long story short I just called the doctor again last thursday b/c she lost about 10 pounds and her appetite is not the greatest, seemed to be eating more, but forcing her. The doctor pushed up her pet scan till december 6th instead of watiing to january the orignial date....but this saturday I went to visit her and her back was killing her, never seen her like this, I felt terrible. It hurt to lay down felt better sitting. It was on her right side, and somewhat moved around to her front of her stomach. She said not pitching or piercing pain more of a constant dull pain... she said its so hard to even explain.... so she went to hospital this past saturday, due to hurricane our hospital is still not up and running 100%. so she saw the dr on call, who did a xray of lung because the area she was saying hurt was where her one and only lung tumor is (this tumor is dead and has been for some time) said he didnt see anything unusual from xray and the tumor wasnt pressing on her spine or anything.... so she is going back tomorrow for pet scans and her follow up for her brain MRI which was scheduled since last month. She keeps saying she might have just pulled her back out? or from my understanding this could mean a re-occurence of the cancer? I asked the nurse and she said yes thats why we want to do pet scan to make sure....Has anyone got pains this back and stomach... Its hard b/c I dont know what it feels like b/c she cant really describ it... but you can tell it hurts b/c she switches positions a lot and cant get comfortable laying down. I'm not sure what to think. Staying positive of course, and hoping for the best. Tomorrow is her brain & pet scan and she will she the oncologist. I visited her today, she looks weak and tired, just not my chipper mom....Crazy ever since she stopped chemo and steriod she has been not doing so well, but during her whole year of treatment you wouldnt even know she was fighting this terrible disease until now. Any input would help! Hope everyone is doing well! Thanks
  6. Hi Andrea, Thanks for responding. I've been getting so nervous. My mom did better during chemo then now. SHe is so tired, sleeps all the time, but the worst part is she is not eating much. Its so strange, b/c I invisioned this during her treatment but she surprised all of us when she had none of the normal side effects. I'm going to see how she is this week, and call the doctor with an update. My dad called him about a week and a half ago maybe two weeks by now, and the dr said if it gets worse to call and my dad says well it didnt get worse just the same... which still stinks...I'm sure she will be at chemo at some point again, since her stage is advanced. I was so looking forward to this 2 month break of no treatment, I didnt expect her to get like this. I think she's a little depressed as well, b/c she had to retire and she isnt driving right now so she feels so helpless. I try to push her, but I never know if Its too much its hard judging when your the caregiver and your not going through it. Thanks for listening Laurie
  7. Thank you Diane for responding to my post in regards to my mother. My dad will mention her symptoms to the doctor again and see what he says. She really has no appetite at all, find myself getting frustrated trying to get her to eat, and she gets frustrated right back b/c she dosnt want to eat. I stayed with my mom during the hurricane and now i see how much she dosnt eat, and it was a bit alarming. Hopefully this passes soon, but my dad will see the oncologist and see what he says... Thanks for your support & I hope your doing well and feel good!!
  8. Hi Everyone, Hope you are all doing well! My mom just finished chemo. To back track my mom has lung cancer that spread to the brain last year. She had two tumors in the lung and one in the brain, she did surgery last septmember for the one in the brain and been on chemo for the lung up until last month. She responded great to her chemo got rid of one tumor on long and the last one is dead and just lingering around, but no cancer activity (so thats great) and the head had been clean since last year up until last month, the doctor discovered two tumore (small) so she got the gamma knife and was on her way. She gets the brain scan in a few weeks to check the brain, since the gamma knife was just done about 6 weeks ago. the doctors stopped chemo when she had to get the gamma knife, and when she just had another scan done on her lung two weeks ago, they said the lung still looks great!!! (which i was surprised since they saw something in the brain) Thank god...so the doctor said lets take you off chemo for about 8 weeks and then do a pet scan and see what treatment you will have next, wether its the same kind of chemo or a new kind. Right now the doctor said her scans are clean, and they really have been for the past year, except for the new reoccurence in the brain last month (total bummer) OK so this is my question, my mom has been on the chemo since last year, did great, body responding got rid of the cancer, she felt good, didnt have any side effects from the chemo except she didnt sleep the nights after she got chemo b/c the steroids with the chemo kept her awake, and gave her a big appetite and energy.... so i guess you can say for the past year, she didnt sleep well considering she got chemo every friday and barely slept the weekends....So like i said earlier the doctor stopped the chemo in order to do gamma, and since lungs are still clean no cancer he stopped chemo for 8 weeks or so.... but NOW she is exhausted, sleeps like a baby, goes to bed at 8pm (if she can stay up that late now lol!) and sleeps till 10:30 am, then cat naps during the day. and she looks wiped, and she has NO appetite, which is so odd b/c she ate like crazy for one year straight, but i guess that was the steroids helping, and no she is on absolutely nothing at all. My dad gave her Ensure to drink to get some vitatmins and calories....she said i just feel blahhhh.... my dad told the doctor....the doctors just said to watch her appetite if it gets worse he will see her ,but nothing seems to alarming... when i tell you this women would eat your arm if she could lol! she ate and ate and ate... and now nothing is appetizing to her, and you have to remind her to eat.... she did eat dinner last night, but dad probably forced her though. Should i be concerend? or is this typical from coming off chemo and steriods? Its kind of werid b/c my mom was more herself, energy and etc on chemo then off. I would have expected to see her like this in the beginning. My mom has a late stage of cancer and thank god it only as of right now went from lung to brain. Eventhough its bad, but i'm thankful for having her right now and that it is somewhat contained. The doctor said she will probably be back on chemo, i guess b/c of the stage and etc, like maybe a maintenance thing.....I pray her brain stays clear from any more tumors, I pray for everyday!!! I do believe in miracles! SOrry for rambling..... If someone can give me some input that would be great!! Thinking of all of you Laurie
  9. Hi Mike, I'm sorry to hear about your wife. I'm glad you found this site. My mom has stage 4 lung cancer and this site has helped me so much. My mother as well as your wife does not want to know a lot of specifics about her diagnosis and whats going on. I really think it has helped her, she is very positive and optimistic. She said to her team of doctors just tell me what to do and I will do it, dont tell me all the side effects and what my chances are....I love hearing Eric's story about his friend Robert, everytime I hear that story it puts a huge smile on my face....Thank you for sharing that. My father and I take care of my mom, As a caregiver its great to have outside support. Because in front of our loved ones we are their rock, so its so nice to come here and talk about how we feel. Please dont hesitate to reach out!! Hope your doing well Laurie
  10. Hello, Hope everyone is doing well!! I had some questions regarding the gamma knife procedure. My mom is getting the procedure done right now. She has a two lesions on her brain (left side).... the (one) lesion the dr is using the gamma knife on is about 1 inch. and they said it was a good size for this procedure. She has another small very small lesion by her ear, the dr isnt concerned about that one right now to small to say anything right now. I was wondering how succesful the gamma knife is? I read some articles about it, and was confused....Does it take the lesion/tumor away immediately? does it kill the cancer cell right then and there? or is it a slow process. It was causing her to be confused and forgetful, but she seems better since they put her on steriods to take the swelling down. Was hoping to get some positive feed back on this particular procedure? any success stories?? For those who dont know me, my mom has stag 4 lung cancer, that spread to the brain last year.... They did brain surgery last year, which was very successful and the lung was doing great this year, two tumor both died on the lung(primary location) , but one was visibile on the scan but dead.... she has been on chemo and just recently started radiation to get rid of the one dead (no cancer activity) tumor on lung. She had pet scans and brain scans just 3 weeks ago, which all were clear and great, which have been for some time now. THis was quite a surprise to hear she has two new lesions on the brain, I understand now this is how cancer works, very sneaky! Im praying that the gamma knife procedure helps and she continues to stay strong and fight b/c she has done so amazing well!! Thank you for listening, if anyone can share thier experiences with gamma knife it would be greatly appreciated... Have a blessed day!!
  11. Hi Everyone, I called Moms doctor in regards to the radiation she just started (which we thought was the reason she was becoming confused this past week.) The saw her right away and discovered two lesions on the brain. ITs been almost one year since she has had brain surgery and radiation (partial)...We hoped this would never happen... that it would come back but it looks like it did... she just did a brain scan three weeks ago that looked perfect....Cant believe how quickly things changed.... Just last month at the doctors appt they said no cancer activity in the whole body, and they were just doing radiation on the lung for the one tumor that is visible but died, so they wanted to get rid of it... Does anyone know if that tumor in lung most likely became active which caused lesions in the brain... I thought that has to be a tumor or some kind of activity somewhere else in the body for it to go to the brain. I'm sure they will do another pet scan they just did one last month. Hopefully the steriods they put her on last night before she left the hospital will bringing the swelling down in her brain, so she will be less confused. I saw a difference this morning, seemed better then yesterday. you can have a normal conversation with her , but she can even tell you when she is having a moment and gets confused. She said to me I hope the doctors dont tell me I can die... It breaks my heart to see her upset, but i'm being so very strong for her. She is waiting for the brain specialist the one who actually did her brain surgery last year to call her. They are gonna meet and go over a game plan. I hope there is a game plan and they can do something. THe radiologist said one lesion is very very small and the other one is larger. She's beat all the odds this year, I asked myself this morning, can she do it again? is it possible to get rid of these two lesions? or is god telling us something? I stayed up all night in tears, and today I start fighting. IF anyone can share anything with me I would appreciate it.... I"m the one that holds my family together and puts on the strong face. So thank you for letting me share my feelings....
  12. Hi Susan, Thanks for posting something. My dad is going to see the radiologist tomorrow (thursday) so he is going to mention all the symptoms she has been having. I will remind him tonight, his style is a little more laid back then mine. But I have to say he has taking such great care of her, and always seems to know when something is crucial and etc. My family & I live on long Island and they travel into NYC everyday. I think the traveling is draining for my mom. She usually naps in the car. I spoke to her this morning, she sounded good, said she felt better but thats my mom she dosnt want anyone to know if she is suffering...She finishes radiation in October, I think the second week. Cant wait for that!! THanks again for your support and kind words... We will see what the radiologist says and keep staying positive!!!!
  13. Hi Katie, Thank you for responding to my post. Its very much appreciated. Yes, my mom has brain scans every few months b/c she had brain cancer last year. THey did an MRI last year b/c her sight was bothering her, and it revealed a brain tumor, which soon revealed her lung cancer.... She has been brain cancer free since last October almost 1 year(yay!!) she also had radiation on the brain last year after the surgery to make sure they got everything... she just had her brain scan a few weeks ago and everything looked great the doctor said She was taking the ambien, which she just stopped about a week ago. I believe they see the radiologist on Thursday. My dad is handeling everything, which could be frustrating b/c i really wanted him to just let the doctor know yesterday (monday) when she had her treatment. So he will speak to doctor this thursday. My dad insists on babysitting one day a week its for 3 hours at my parents house. Its funny b/c he has been so hands on since day 1. He said he likes to have them over to cuddle with grandma and lift her spirits. I think it gets his mind off of everything going on as well. My mom has three weeks left of radiation. Not sure if they will continue it if the tumor didnt vanish, b/c its dead anyway and has been for a bit. I have never seen her this tired, and weak. Just praying she regains her strength back and feels better soon! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge. Thanks
  14. Hi Everyone, I hope everyone is doing well!! Thinking of all of you...I havent been on in a bit. I had a quick question hopefully someone can help me. My mom was diagnosed with brain & lung cancer last year, had tumor removed in brain, no brain cancer since...so thankful for that... the doctors decided to treat the other tumors in her lung with chemo..she has been doing that for some time and has been so very successfull!! again so thankful.. her last visit the doctor said she has no cancer in her body. no tumors execept 1 in the lung that had died from the inside out, and has been there for a few months... so since no more active cancer the doctor wanted her to start radiation just to get rid of the dead tumor in the lung. she is on her second week of radiation.. do it everyday for five weeks or maybe six.....she is still continuing her chemo because is has been worked and has no side effects from it...since day one on chemo she did great, not sick or having any side effects, except being tired of course, and i think thats really catching up to her, b/c she get a steriod during chemo and that keeps her up for one to two nights... the doctor gave her ambien to help her sleep, and that helps a little, but the first night after chemo she ever rarely sleeps at all...OK so this is her second week of radiation...and i'm so concerned, of course she is more tired, but still be such a trooper....def napping a lot and the past few days she has been saying wierd things and forgets things....for example, she called me the other day and was very tired you can hear it, and told me she had her chemo and radiation and they did the blue cross blueshield test... I said mom thats your health insurance and she said i dont know forget it.... she didnt have any testing done that day..... and then today she babysat my boys with my dad of course.... and got confused when trying to tell me what they ate, and how much and etc.... then she feed them with me while i was with her, then the next hour told me to get the bottles to feed them again.. but we just fed them... My dad said the past few days she put the coffee on and forgot to get it. My dad said that she is just so drained and exhausted from chemo and radiation now on top of it, especially that she is going in for radiation every day and chemo on fridays..... Is this normal? is she just so exhausted? or can this be a side effect from the radiation? I only noticed this after radiation.....so trying to figure out is it b/c its tiring her out completely and kicking her butt and she's just out there right now or is it damaging her memory and etc... it broke my heart today.....I have been so happy thankful and grateful that she is cancer free and doing so great and kicking this cancers butt but today i left her home so sad and confused myself... can someone help explain why this is happening? or what your thoughts are? My dad will speak to doctor on Monday...I'm so scared b/c we have been so lucky this year and she took so well to the treatments and etc with no side effects, she really impressed everyone with her success and then to all of a sudden see her so confused its alarming...the only differenc is she started radiation..... Thank you so much for listening, this is the only place I talk about this.... I appreciate everyones support. Thank you again
  15. Hi Susan, Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm happy to hear you are a cancer survivor. This site is a great support system for me. I love my mom so much, we spend so much time together, especially that I have twin boys who are now 5 months. She says they keep her strong. I just hate seeing my mom scared and eventhough she has received great news and results from her scans she is always nervous and etc. I cant imagine if i was going through this i would be so scared too, i'am scared and its not happening directly to me. I think once she accepts it she will be able to let go a little bit and enjoy life more....sometimes she gets sad and etc. of course its to be expected. but i will continue to be positive and stay in her corner. I have stayed so strong, like i said i have not broken down not once in front of her, not sure if its good or bad, but i think it keeps her strong, i dont ever want her to see my fear. Because if the roles were reversed she would never show me she was scared, she would fight with me and tell me i would beat this. so i feel i have to do the samething for her. thank you for listening. This really helps me. I appreciate everyones kindness.
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