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jo_lanier

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  1. Why don't you suggest that he find a doctor who can do a biopsy now instead of putting it off? It would be a relief for everyone if it is not cancer and a boost to treatment to catch it faster.
  2. You are a good man, Dean, and quite an inspiration too!
  3. "And she said, 'Daddy, Peppy isn't real. He is just a stuffed animal. That was me going whock whock whock.' " I just blew Diet Dr. Pepper all over my computer! Thanks for the mess and the laugh. I think your daughter is a keeper!! whock, whock, whock
  4. At first I didn't "get" this, but now I do. 1/3 if you keep the one of the three doors. 2/3 if you go to the second of the three doors. Right?
  5. Curtisg, those are truly the most beautiful vows I've ever read. Did you two video tape your wedding? If you have a tape, maybe watching it will help you keep that memory fresh in your quiet spot.
  6. I only have one piece of advice. Under no circumstances mention the new girlfriend and her kids at all. Let your wife's mom bring it up if she wants. Then and only then should you talk about it. AND don't gush on and on about her and how pretty she is and so on. I guess that would be two pieces of advice, yes? Best of luck! I don't envy you.
  7. Can you trade in the old TT to help with the payment? I think you should go for it. You are the only one who knows what you can handle financially. The idea of waiting until spring so you can enjoy it is a good one and will give you more time to decide. All the best wishes, Jo.
  8. I can't help but sob as I read here. The grief for me is still too fresh and ragged. I can only hope to one day be able to let go and move on... I wish all of you all of the best...
  9. jo_lanier

    Bad week

    I am mostly a lurker, just watching and reading. I seldom post. I wanted to say that I'm so sorry that you lost your dear "Duke" and that sadness for you cuts me to the bone tonight. I admire you for taking care of him and for being a true lady in this community. I've read so many things you have posted. You are positive and loyal. I know you are grieving from the loss of your friend too. May God bless you with many, many more happy days than the sad ones you've experienced. Jo
  10. Curtisg, your freind does sound like a wonderful person. When you say she was hurt in a poor marriage, do you mean she is still in the poor marriage or that a poor marriage hurt her in the past? Whatever the case, I hope that you can be what she needs in the way of loving support. I'm glad that she and your daughter have a relationship outside of yours. I hope that you will figure out how to spend lots of time with her kids too. If this does turn into something serious, the last thing you would want would be for your kids to be strangers having to learn to live together. That causes too much stress. There is no real Brady Bunch. Thank you for your encouraging words about my reply to your thread. You sound like a wonderful, caring father, and I know your wife is watching over the two of you.
  11. jo_lanier

    curtisg

    I don't really know anyone here but everyone seems to be so accepting and loving in this thread. Some of the others, not so, but this one is warm and inviting. Maybe too inviting because I am going out on a limb and may be stepping over my bounds. I would be very hesitant to date anyone whose children might be taking you away from Katie. Please forgive me because I know it sounds awful. It's just that Katie has been through something so traumatic and she needs you so much. I'm afraid that you might be stretching yourself too thin if you understand what I'm trying to say. If your relationship progresses, your girlfriend will expect (and rightfully so) that you will begin to take up some of the dad duties. (I assume you won't just add Katie to her load and go back to the school.) I know it is new and exciting to be dating someone and having new affections, but please don't get so over your head that you fail to notice your daughter's needs. In one forum it said 6 months and the other 5 months, and at this point in this post I don't know which it is since your wife died, but 3 children with special needs may get overwhelming very quickly. Your girlfriend sounds wonderful and sounds like she knows what she is doing, but be careful about adding another child with heavy emotional needs to the bunch. It may be more than either of you expects. Fragile X children have a hard time making connections with other kids and may not be the siblings Katie could be expecting either. Please forgive me if I have offended you in any way. You sound like a loving father. Katie's qustions about her grandma becoming her mom show that she is still struggling to grasp everything that has happened. It might be a good idea for you to get her some grief therapy to help her adjust. Especially as it becomes time to "audition" new mommies in the mommy role. I sincerely wish you the best of luck and apologize in advance if I have offended you.
  12. What a wonderful and loving idea for your wedding rings, Curtisg. It's something your daughter will appreciate later too.
  13. CountryGirl97, My father-in-law died without a will. It left all of us with no idea how he wanted his estate handled. I have wished many times over that we had just asked him before he died, but that seemed too insensitive at the time. All I can say is to bring this up to your husband and let him help with that detail. Many times we felt we were protecting him when he often felt we were leaving him out. It's so hard to handle it alone, so give him the option of helping make those decisions. As far as people wanting stuff... I can understand it, even though it is sometimes handled insensitively. I often want to bury my face in the things that belonged to him and just be close to him again. Those blankets and things mentioned above by Curtisg that belonged to Becky probably bring lots of comfort to those that loved her. I hope you kept plenty of them to bury your face into from time to time, too. As far as property and all that, our experience hasn't been a good one either. I could kick my mother-in-law for not having my father-in-law make out a will. I see many battles in the future between his kids and her. I guess we just always thought we'd have more time. Sorry to have invaded this area with my first posting ever. I've been lurking a while, and having had too much experience with this particular topic, I felt like I needed to post at last. I hope to have offended no one.
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