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izzyleung

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Everything posted by izzyleung

  1. izzyleung

    missing dad

    It is just one of those days that I feel blue and miss my dad. I wonder how he is doing, wherever he is. I wonder if he found peace and is as they say in heaven enjoying god's grace without earthly troubles and sickness. So many days and nights I want to talk to him, let him know how I am doing and how life has been without him and somehow I still feel like he's with us and blessing us. It will almost be two years in December. It feels like he's never been gone, and I feel like he will always be looking after us wherever he is. I am grateful for the strength he gave me as everything I do now I want to make him proud. But once in awhile, I would really like to have a conversation with him and let him know that he instilled value and strength in me that made me a strong person. For that I am forever grateful and I hope he will see and be pleased and find his peace. I miss you dad.
  2. Dear all, my dad fought a hard battle and succumbed to the disease last monday. He passed away peacefully at home with family by his side. I cannot believe how fast this all happened and it felt like it was just yesterday before he received the illed diagnose. 13 months of time, the diseases robbed his life and me of my father. As we try to cope, i cannot help to wonder why he was so unfortunate? he was recently retired and has a brand new grandson, life has been very cruel to him and our family. I hate it that modern science cannot cure his disease; I hate it that it cannot explain why some smokers got the disease and some dont and why some got non-small cell and some got small cell. Is it something that he did wrong or we did wrong? It is hard to let go, even though we thought we were prepared for the worst. At age 65, my dad left me. he will forever be missed.
  3. I am so sorry for your loss and I feel your pain and heartbreak. Petunia said it best, we may all have to go through that heartbreak at somepoint and just the thought of that gives me tears. You should be proud that you've walked the path and fought the war with your mom and accompanied her during the last part of her journey and comforted her with love and support. The disease changed all of us and I hope you can find peace and solace someday and knowing your mom in heaven will continue to guard you and love you. Sincerely, Izzy
  4. izzyleung

    Updates

    Thank you everyone for the support and kind words, they mean a lot to me in helping me getting through this difficult journey. Petunia, I will PM you for the referral. At this point, we are going to explore all options. Thanks!
  5. izzyleung

    Updates

    Hi everyone, I am writing with not-so-good news. My father, who was dx with Limited SCLC in october had his latest round of scans which show 2cm nodule in his liver and nearby lymph nodes. It's likely the SCLC has metastasized. The duration since his first standard chemoradiation treatment was a short four months, it's very very discouraging. I am prepared for the worst and feel very sad for my father who has to go through this. We were confident that the treatment was going to get him better for at least a year or two, but I did not think he may end up on the other side of the bell curve. Doc recommended second line chemo of topotecan w/ irinotecan. Has anyone had that and was it successful? We are also looking for clinical trials but there do not appear to be much options out there. Did anyone had any experience or insight into the SCLC clincial trials in this country? We live in NY area and we are trying to get him into Memorial Sloan Kettering. Does anyone has experience with that? The referral process is quite slow which is very frustrating as the wait time for the initial appointment takes up a whole week and I am so afraid that waiting it out cuts his chances while the second opinion may suggest the same 2nd line treatment. Given how rapidly these cells can grow and even days will matter in terms of effectiveness of treatment, I am really torn and pray that MSKCC has better focused treatments. At this point, I have so many questions, so much concern and anxiety. My father appears to be OK, but I am so scared of the next crash and the months to come. We pray the next round of treatment will buy him more time and that's all we ask for. Do we have any hope that the second line treatment will work and give him some longer response time? Any success out there? I am starting to realize that cancer is such an individualized disease and everyone reacts to treatment differently. I am convinced that he's having some really really bad luck as he appears to be healthy prior to all of this and since dx, every news we got was the worst kind... AT least I still have this forum to express my thoughts and emotions, it's hard for me to imagine what goes through in his mind and what I can possibily say to make him feel better and stronger other than continusly reassuring him and making him feel love and support. Thanks for listening everyone izzy
  6. izzyleung

    PCI?

    Thank you, Janet. Your story is encouraging! Hope to see you on this forum for MANY MANY MORE YEARS TO COME!
  7. izzyleung

    PCI?

    *update* the radiation doctor did an MRI of my dad's brain, very dishearteningly it shows 2 spots of 2cm and 1.8cm in his brain that was not seen in the CT scan in october. I was so sad, he (we) never got a break. every time he seems to get better, our hopes went up. but ever since he was dx with small cell (the worst type of LC in my opinion), the news was never good! i just can't believe we are having such streak of baaaad luck! now we don't have a choice but do whole brain radiation, hope that kills all those darn tumors!!! i am so angry that cancer is such a helpless disease! it;s like you have to count your blessings very day and pray it doesnt return and there is nothing you can do about it to make sure it doesn't return! there is nothing i can do. i don't know how much more i can take. but i have to continue to hope that the WBR will kill the cells and give him more time. precious time...it pains too much to see him wither away day by day...i wish i can give him some of my life... is anyone here with brain mets can share some of their experiences?? any survivor after that? what can we do differently to increase his odd of survival? Thanks for listening and sharing. Izzy
  8. stay positive and keep encouraging her, i think that's the best help. I made my dad beet juice every morning i think that should help boost the immune system and increase red blood cells. the reaction to chemo depends on each person's body, but there are drugs that could help relieve the side effects of nausea and the like. my dad felt really tired for about a week after each cycle of chemo but after that i think he slowly regains some strength. stay strong! for your love ones and yourself! izzy
  9. izzyleung

    PCI?

    thank you guys!!! My dad's CT scan does not show brain met, but PCI is recommended as a preventive measure which supposedly does increase survival. The doc did say the benefits outweigh the cost. So we will do it and I will pray hard for him to not have any significant side effects. I have a 5 months old baby and my dad loves to teach my baby stuff, he's the greatest grandfather. So i think it would pain him if he can no longer educate my child. Hopefully he will do well with treatment. I will keep you all posted. Sorry to hear about your loss, Laurie. SCLC is a real devil, I pray for all the fighters out there! izzy
  10. izzyleung

    PCI?

    Anyone went through PCI experienced any side affect of cognitive function or memory impairment? My dad was recently dx with SCLC and doc recommended PCI as a precaution. But he fears side effects. Can anyone share their experiences? Thanks!!!
  11. Thank you, Diane, Judy, and Jamin. I am a little disappointed that it's not NED, hopefully next scan will show improvement. Is there anyone with SCLC that had achieved complete response after the first line chemo? Thanks!
  12. izzyleung

    new comer

    I am really thankful for this site which offers such valuable real life story and support. My dad was recently diagnosed of limited stage SCLC with a 3.5cm nodule on his right lung and some diseases in the lymph nodes nearby. He went through 4 rounds of chemo (believe cisplain and etoposide) and chest radiation (2x daily). One month after he completed the chemo, we went for his first CT scans. We just got the result today and I am a little perplexed as to how to interpret the result. The large mass in his lung has diminished and is no longer seen on the CT and so are most of the diseases on the lymph nodes. However, the CT report indicated that there is a "soft tissue" with the size of 16mm-18mm still remain on one of the lymph nodes. On the impression, it says the "soft tissue is stable and minimally increased". All other areas are cleared. I am not sure what this means? Does it mean that soft tissue is malignant and those particular cancerous cells are not responsive to chemo? If so, will this mass progress now since there are no more chemo at this point? The doctor suggested to monitor and wait for the CT scan at 3 months to see whether it show signs of growth then determine course of action. I asked if we could do sooner or maybe a biopsy and he said sometimes the biopsy could be sampling dead cancer cells which will give a false negative. Can anyone please shed some light or share your experience with these CT scans? I see a lot of posters saying their CTs are NED, does it mean that it is completely clean without any trace? I asked the dr and he said he would not expect the tumors to be completely gone because sometimes even after the cancer cells are killed there may still be dead tissue or scar, etc. I didn't want to ask the dr too many questions in front of my dad because i didn't want my dad to feel overly alarmed or concerned as that would discourage his positive spirit thus far. But frankly, based on that CT scan, should we be prepared that the cancer cells have not been eradicated? Is there any action i should take before the 3 months mark for another CT? I am just so anxious and confused, and worried that the longer we wait the less chance he has especially I know how fast the SCLC can grow.... Anyone who can share their experience will be greatly appreciated!!!! Thanks and god bless you all!!!
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