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Hello All, My name is Kaya. I am here because I rec'd the shock of my life the other day, that my father in law is in stage 4 of a metastatic cancer most likely an adenocarcinoma, which has caused his lung to collapse and made it necessary for him to be placed on a ventilator. He was not healthy previous, but we just were NOT expecting cancer, at all. He developed a nagging cough. When he told me about the cough, he said he thought it was a cold, but this cough never went away. And although he never did have any symptoms of a 'cold' we all believed that it probably was just some kind of cold/allergies/cough, and left it at that. That cough eventually led him to being unable to take a breath one morning this past week, and he ended up in the ER with what we all thought was 'pneumonia'. He sounded terrible that morning. The ER docs told us that had to intubate him because his lung was collapsing. And right after they did the procedure, his heart began to have terrible arrhythmias and he went into cardiac arrest in the ER. During the time in the ER they were able to do a few imaging studies, Xrays, CT's and they told us they thought they saw a mass on the outside periphery of the Upper Lobe of the Rt. Lung. But they were so occupied with the Heart issues we quickly put that out of our minds, and along with the docs, concentrated on every word they said about what they would do next to try to save his life. Eventually he made it to the CCU and there eventually his heart was stabilized with a pace maker. He was however unable to be taken off the Vent. The docs said that they tried to reach the mass for biopsy and could not reach it. They believe that the mass is causing the lung to fill up with mucous (adenocarcinoma) and that it's size may be contributing to the collapse of the lung. Each time they tried to remove the Vent tube, my father in law would have problems breathing and have a serious arrhythmia and so they are pretty well telling us now he will have to be weaned in a nursing home situation (if possible). They said they can do no more for him at the Hosp. At one point I asked why they couldn't try radiation to shrink the tumor, just to shrink it so that we could try to remove the respirator, so he could die without being on this horrendous machine, but they said while they do palliative radiation, because he is so sick, they will not do it for him. Also they told me since he is on the vent, they would not be able to administer the radiation via CT scan which is how they do it, so essentially I feel like we are being told just take him to the nursing home to die. He is struggling on this machine. I feel so horrible for him. The other thing I feel is so much guilt. Because I am a Healthcare professional, I have been so involved in his care. HOW did I miss this? I am so angry that I did not follow up on that cough. I mean on the one hand he had been very ill with neurological stuff that I had to help him with and heart issues which were very complex, and he has been in a wheel chair for over 10 years so his healthcare is difficult, but still, I feel in a sense, like I have failed our family and him Thank you for listening. I just needed to get this out. I also want to know if anyone has any experience with getting palliative care even in a situation like this, where the for instance the palliative radiation may be dangerous for the patient? I just feel like what do we have to loose? If he is willing to try it...