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Work, Once again


daggiesmom

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Ok, here we go again.

You might remember my work problems from the past. I hate to be so boring, but here we go again......

Just must vent ...

At work today, at the end of a meeting, the grand B----- says "Oh, Joan is asleep" (totally untrue, no reason at all to say this except to BULLY ME once again. From where she was sitting she couldn't even see me, just wanted to be a you know what. Then, to make matters worse, her boss chimes in with "no, she's just resting her eyes" WELL, my response was,

Hey I'm not asleep, why do you say this? And then, No I WAS NOT RESTING MY EYES. I have notes, and I was talking through out this meeting. This is down and dirty bullying and discrimination. So after the meeting I asked the Big Boss (the one who said "resting her eyes" to talk to her. I told her I was very embarresed about this comment, that I was confused as to why she thought I was asleep and that I felt discriminated at her comment. She said she would speak to 'her" and that was that. To me, that is not enough. she jumped on the bandwagon to bully me as well. I feel that i am being bullied, and discriminated against. What do you think about this and what can I do. Just as a background, I am the only white, middle aged person in a office of black, puerto rican people. I am the only one who didn't get a raise when everyone else did, etc. etc. etc. I am the only one who is harrassed at every turn about doctor's appointments, and notes, etc. Everyday of my life I am harrassed. Unfortunately, my Dept. is HUMAN RESOURCES. Who do I go to? I am so angry about this. I have had enough. Cancer is enough. Death of my only daughter is enough. When will I Get justice. I am very upset about this and don't know where to turn. In the past, others have said to get another job === well that's kind of hard at 52 years old and wondering will they discriminate about your health. 52 is damm hard to start over. I then I wonder why start over. Why not just give up. Why fight anymore. Maybe I'm just here to be kicked around. Down in the dumps. Other people should'nt do that but they do that to me all the time. I've fought enough.

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Joanie -

Can't offer much constructive help, but I can sure understand where you are coming from! My office is not so much bullying as my finding out that behind my back they have been checking up on me. So far no action has been taken.(I am saying this in reference to my health.) It's not bad enough to deal with what we do and the pressures each and every day - and you dearheart have had your share - but to be subjected to those in charge being overtly abusive is TOO MUCH!!! Will keep you in my prayers - I am sure someone will have some GREAT suggestions for you, but for now know that I am right there with you -

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Oh ((((Spunky))))

We are so sorry that you have to feel this way.

We are going upload a can of IL Woop~A**.

(Actually that is all just big talk) Brian and I are quite passive and have felt 'abused' at times, ourselves.

It is not fair and I will tell you that we love you and that we hate this is happening to you.

We would like to point out that you are articulate, compassionate and 'on top of things'. That is an excellent skill set. We are convinced that you just need to find an employer who recognizes your worth.

Love

Brat

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Joanie,

I am sorry that you are going through that. The remarks of the 2 bosses are totally uncalled for, especially sice you weren't sleeping (even if you were they should not mention that publically). I have been awhile on this site (although I rarely post) and have read many post from you where you say you are unhappy at work. Can't you try and change jobs? contact a recruiter, or send out your resume.

At least try, you won't lose anything... Good luck.

I really feel for you.

Rana

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Joanie,

I know that you said that you are in HR and therefore you have no complaint structure, but can't you go to a manager of another department and discuss these issues with that person for some advice on company policy. It sounds like it is a larger company and there must be some way to circumvent HR.

Just an idea, cause it stinks how you are being treated.

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Ok..hopefully you paid attention to other work problems that have come up here (Cheryl's come to mind) and you have documented everything. If you feel you are being discriminated against because of your age, race, sex or medical condition...file a compliant with the Dept of Civil Rights.

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Hi Joanie,

There is absolutely NO reason why anyone should be treated this way at work.

You aren't there to be kicked around and you should make that perfectly clear. You can only take so much...I think you've been pushed way past that point. I'm sending you prayers of strength to make the decision to make some changes!

Good luck...I know it is so easy to say, much harder to take action. But, you really do deserve much better.

Melinda

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I truly appreciate all the input on my work issue. I do believe my best bet is to get another job, even though that will involve "starting all over" again. I have hesitated to do this because I don't want to loose life insurance coverage. It would be just my luck to leave this job, have to wait for life insurance for maybe three months at a new job and come down with another tumor that could be fatal. My huband would be left with an awful problem. That was one reason. The other was the actual effort involved in looking for a job - this job tires me out so much that I go home everyday and flop down on the couch and usually fall asleep by 9:30 or so watching TV. I know, very unhealthy, but very true. Some how, some way, I guess I'll just have to make this effort because I truly hate this job and I hate working for people who are so callous and unprofessional. Thanks again all. I'll shut up now! :wink:

Joanie

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Joanie.

Sorry all this is happening. You do not deserve this.

Listen. As far as your life ins. is concerned...Have you read the language? Is is portable?

My policy was portable. I continue to keep up the payments. I need to get a qualifier from my doc stating I am disabled. The premiums will no longer be mine to pay. Please read the language of your policy, if you haven't already. It would be a shame to have this little thing keep you in misery. This is not what life is about, right, Joanie?

love, Cindi o'h

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If you read through your yellow pages you should find ads of attorneys that specialize in Employment Law. Ask around or pay attention to cases in your area that may make the news and note who the attorney is. I would think working in HR, your company has probably had claims by other employees--do you remember the attorney? :wink: It seems here in this county all discrimination and wrongful discharge cases seem to be handled by this one attorney that has made that his specialty.

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Oh my goodness! You do not deserve to be around let alone work with people like that! I do think you should find another job. I know it is easier said than done BUT maybe you should secretly search it out and see what your options are. I hope everthing works out for you!

jorja

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Whatever you do, DO NOT let this stress you out. Nothing is worth your health. Get an attorney, another job, whatever you have to do to keep your health. The people that you are working with are not worth your health. Please know that my prayers are with you.

Carol

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Hi Joanie,

I feel your dilemma and you are in a rock and a hard place. There is no reason why you have to indure this. This is outrageous. Take peoples advice an find an attorney. That is what attorneys do, they help their clients. It will not cost you for a consult and I could be an answer to your problem.

Is there anybody at all in work or maybe someone who no longer works there who can verify this discrimination against you? Do you have every thing written down that has happened in the past? If you are doing your job and did not get a raise, there may even cause there.

As far as employment, get your resume ready. It wouldn't hurt to see what is out there. Companies are not allowed to ask your age as that is considered discrimation.

I assume you have health insurance from your husband, as that does not seem to be a concern with you're leaving this job. If so, then you don't have to worry about pre-existing from a new health provider.

I don't have to tell you how bad this stress is for your health. This is not good. The hardest part about doing something, is getting started. You must get the ball rolling, seek out help.

I think Bunny is an attorney in NY, maybe you can contact her and she could recommend someone if you do not know who to contact.

Take care and know that there is a solution out there.

Maryanne

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Hi Joanie: Maryanne's question about writing evrything down is very important. You need to document everything in a who, what, where, when, why format. I think you may be able to document that you work in a hostile work environment.

Consult a lawyer. I did a quick Google search and came up with an attorney whose office specializes in employment litigation. They have a toll free number and offer a free initial consultation. It would be a good starting point.

http://www.jhllp.com/Custom4.php

Don M

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Joanie,

So sorry that, because of some other people's ignorance or insensitivity, you end up spending the bulk of your day around people you don't like. That's a real drain on anyone's sense of well-being.

I think they have ground you down and made you feel you are a liability. But 52 is middle age NOT old age - you have lots of experience that a 30 year old does not offer. I'm pretty sure you are stuck in a "bad fit" situation and when you find a different group of people with whom you have a "good fit," you'll find yourself valued and welcomed.

Is there any other department in the company where you have a good relationship with someone and could possibly transfer? That would be the simplest thing -so you've probably already tried that. The first thing is not to assume other people will automatically consider you damaged goods or something. You are whole, talented, experienced goods with plenty of offer the right people.

Good luck,

Leslie

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