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Keith Alan Kubesch my soulmate, my lover, my friend


Carleen

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My Precious Keith Alan Kubesch, joy of my life, reason for being and light of my existence has passed away Thursday June 29th 9:45 AM at the age of 34. We had just made it home from the hospital the afternoon before, and hospice was schedule to come in at 11AM Thursday morning. They didn't make it on time. Around him were his mother, father, grandmother, uncle, best friend, my sister, and me. He was breathing heavily and sort of articulating as he breathed, and we said a prayer over him and he quieted down during the prayer. I thought it was a sign that God was comforting him that he was calmer as we prayed. After the prayer ended I opened my eyes to see him take a deep breath then he opened his eyes wide and never breathed again. It wasn't God bring him the comfort the way I thought, it was God taking him away from me.

I can't post much more about it now because the pain is too great.

I am swathed in darkness, every breath I draw is agony and there is no escape. Everywhere I turn I see bits of him and am reminded I will never see him again. I hate being home, but I don't know if I can go elsewhere. I just don't know what t do.

Even coming on the computer I log in under a Keith Kubesch account. I am willing my heart to stop beating because every heart beat is accompanied by a knife wound in my chest, but it continues.

I want my Keith back, I want to go to him, I don't care... I just want to be with him again to put my arms around him and feel his warm kisses again.

I will never be loved so greatly again. I have truly lost.

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Carleen...I am so very sorry for your loss. I know that words are so little comfort right now but please know that we are thinking of you and keeping you in our hearts and our prayers.

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Carleen I also am so sorry for your loss of Keith. I know now he is well. I pray for your peace and comfort during this most difficult time.

Donna G

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Carleen

I am sooooo sorry for your loss. My heart is extremely heavy for you!!! It is so hard in our darkest hours to find the faith that we have, but we really need to search and find it to pull ourselves through this.Please do not hesitate to ask for assistance from friends and family. A lot of times, they want to help, but just know how. My prayers are for you and your family, that you will find peace and comfort in knowing that Keith did win the battle with this horrible disease.

Prayers and Hugs

Connie

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Oh, Carleen, I was so afraid of this when you weren't posting the past couple of days. My hands automatically grasped my throat when I saw just the subject line in Grieving.

I'm just so incredibly sorry. Any and all words escape me. I don't think there are any. I just wish I could hold you and let you cry and cry and cry on my shoulder.

May God bless you and keep you, Carleen. I know He will.

Love,

Peggy

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Carleen,

I am so, so sorry to read your post. I ask God to watch over you, to give you comfort, strength, and to ease your pain. Keith has no more pain, and God has wrapped his arm around him, taking him to be with him, where he knows peace, your love always, and renewed strength in everylasting life.

God bless you Carleen.

Jen

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I am a lurker here since having lost my own husband 5 years ago and I've followed you every since you've signed on..my heart goes out to you in the biggest way, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending warm and solid hugs to you and your family during this most difficult time. Kim B.

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