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Too much pain


Carleen

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Carleen,

I am so very sorry and saddened to hear of Keith's passing. I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now, but you need to hang on, Carleen, please. Keep your promise to Keith. Live FOR him, Carleen, and know that he will forever be alive in your heart for as long as you live because love never dies. I am holding you close in my thoughts and prayers. Know that we are all here for you and sending you strength and love. God, I am so sorry.

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Carleen, You have been such a caring and compassioanate person for everyone here and myself. I have thought of you daily for quite a while since YOu guys went to Chicago for that adventure that turned so devastating for you. I can only imagine the pain since then. We here care for you very much and are so scared for you right now. YOur passion for Keith is overwhelming and I pray that you seek someone physical to talk and stay with for a Little while. You must do this for Both Keith and yourself as well as us here.Pleas etake all the advice to heart we are soscared for you right now and would be devastated if anything bad were to happen to you. You have so much to share with us we would like to share it with you for days to come.

Sending Love support prayers and BIG WARM FUZZY BLANKETS For you! :( Want o be Happy :)

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You HAVE TO keep your promise to Keith. Everyone's right - can you have someone with you right now? Can you see a doctor maybe? We don't want you to hurt yourself. Think about what Keith would have wanted. He's watching from Heaven. He's watching you.

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Oh Carleen, I know there is nothing I can say that will make anything different for you, and so many people have already said many wonderful things. I just want to tell you how very sorry I am about your losses. I know how much it may seem like God has forsaken you, but he hasn't, I promise. HE PROMISES us all that very thing. Hang on, Carleen. Hang on to all the people that love you.

Warm Hugs,

Laura

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Carleen~

I still don't have the right words of comfort but Praise Him who is the Creator, Savior and Sanctifier. He has the words of help, hope and healing.

Ephesians 3:17-21

... And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Kelly

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Carlene,

I'll say this again...I UNDERSTAND what you are feeling. Although I have two boys that continue to need their mother, my heart breaks continuously and not a day goes by that I don't still get pre-occupied with a fantasy of being with Bill again and even so far as a "plan" to make that happen. Every day I struggle to find "yet another" reason to wake up, get dressed and trudge on. Some days the only reason I have is that there is someone out there that does not know what a wonderful, incredible, loving man I had the luxury of being married to; and I'm going to spend some time on that day telling someone all about him.

There are people out there that still don't understand what an incredible, loving, dependable man Keith was; they don't understand that it is possible to love another person so deeply and they need to hear "your love story" so that they have hope of finding someone so wonderful in their life.

Please reach out to someone Carleen and keep finding a reason.

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((((((Carleen)))))) When I lost my husband of 28yrs in 2001 to this terrible beast, my heart was broken in two. I also thought what is the use, my life is over. Then I thought again,,,,yes, my life as I knew it, was over,,,,but my husband wanted to live so badly and wasnt given the chance. He would have given anything for a second chance. I knew then that I had to live the life that he was denied. My thinking was that if I decided to end my life, then the Beast has won 2 lives,,,,,,and that was suddenly not an option....I wont tell you that the last few years has been easy,,,,,but you learn new coping skills and your Keith will be right there,,,helping you,,,,you can do this,,,,,honor Keith by honoring the promise you made to him,,,,,by honoring him your Keith will live on in you, sweetheart,,,,,,Take one day at a time,,,,breath,,,eat small meals, but do eat something,,rest when you can.....talk to us and anyone else,,,family,,,counselors,,,,just know that people care alot about you, and you are not alone.

Peace to you,,,Annjael

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I have no pearls of wisdom, nothing eloquent to say to you to make you feel better. I can only say that I think the "shock fog" got me through each day. I have realized that each person around me has had something, one sentence, to say to me which has really stood out and made sense. Since each person grieves differently, it helped for me to take all of those things that stood out and put them down on paper, together.

You are suffering incredible loss. But you do come here, hopefully because you know you can find support, and that is a great step. You know I didn't become really active here until after my mom passed away. Because I know all these people here "get it." We all lean on each other for support through the grieving process. You lean on whomever you need to, whomever seems to give you what you need at that particular moment. And you will learn when you need and want to be alone. We are all learning here. It's a position none of us wants to be in, but we put one foot in front of the other each day, and people around us help us do that, too.

I think you are a person who is very in touch with her feelings; very honest and true to herself. Only you know when you really need help, be it professional or otherwise. I honestly don't know anyone who can do this all alone. I think you will be very surprised at the people who come forward to help you now. I know I was. I am leaning on people now I never EVER imagined I would.

Best wishes. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Carleen.

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Hello everyone,

"tr", a friend of Carleen's that posted today on another thread has contacted Carleen for us. Carleen is ok and tr is going to go see her tonight. Apparently, Carleen's mom is also staying with her.

I was very concerned since she didn't open my PM or take my phone call, but she is ok and is not alone.

I know I will sleep better tonight knowing that tr and Carleen's mom are with her. I know the rest of you will, too.

Love to all,

Peggy

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Carleen, I'm am so, so sorry you've lost this baby. I have no additional words of wisdom, I just want to echo those who have written above. We love you and care so much about you. You're dealing with so much pain right now it's incredible, and it's very important that you not try to do it alone -- or even with "just" our virtual support. You have my prayers, and so many, many others are praying for you, but you also need hands to hold and arms to be around you. And while a doctor can't relieve a broken heart, he or she can really help you get through this most difficult time, too. It's time to pull out all the stops and ask for the support of those who love you and those whose mission in life is to help people through times like this. Please do that for Keith, and for yourself.

Oh, dear... I feel like I'm lecturing, and that's not at all what I mean to do... I just care about you an awful lot. I think of you constantly and want each minute to be easier than the last, until finally you'll be able to do as Don says and fill that gaping hole with loving memories. They are not the same as having your Keith back, but those memories will be so precious when that times comes.

Hugs,

BeckyCW

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Carleen,

You are a very smart, intelligient and beautiful woman who is filled with compassion. Even after losing Keith you have been here comforting others. You truly are gifted and there is a big plan for you.

When I lost my fiance in 1998, I grieved immensely. At first, the pain was so unbearable, I would liken it to losing a limb. I would have traded both of my arms or legs in a heartbeat to get him back as I'm sure you would for your beloved Keith.

I didn't cry when he was gone, I wailed. This is when I needed my Dad. He would come over and he knew he couldn't take away my pain but he listened and gave me a shoulder to cry on. A couple of times we ended up on back roads, drinking beer :o . I'm so glad you have parental support, please give them a chance, they love you so.

I still miss my fiance and dream of him often, but the pain has lessened. He'll always have a piece of my heart, he was my one true love and it was lost. I've pondered too many times over the question: Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all?

I think, yes it's better to have loved.

Take a leave from work if you can, surround yourself with your parents and friends and don't worry about being a burden. The burden would be if they lost you too.

You are such a giving person. I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but you have so much to offer. I know there is a kid out there who would be blessed to have you as a foster parent or a mentor. You're going to make a difference for someone other than us Carleen, the world truly needs people like you.

Please grieve, tap into your support system and allow yourself time to get through this. You're in the early grieving process and it will probably get worse before it gets better. You were a strong advocate for Keith, it's now time to advocate for yourself. You're not a selfish person, I know you'll take the pain no matter how hard it is.

I wish you peace in the days ahead Carleen. I know this is so hard for you. I'm so sorry.

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Hello everyone,

I think my post on Carleen's recent thread may have been lost in the sheer volume of the thread, so I wanted to start a new one and be sure that all of you at least had a little update. I'm certainly not close to the situation in any way at all, but I have been communicating with Keith & Carleen's friend, TR, so I will repeat some of my post here and add just a little bit more that I have learned later today.

TR has talked to Carleen (I'll let TR decide later if she wants to post her name - she's pretty new to anything like this). Carleen is ok. She is actually getting out of the house a little bit, and she does have her mom staying with her, so she isn't alone. TR has only talked to Carleen on the phone and Carlene is happy to let TR come and visit with her tomorrow. The general message I'm hearing is that Carleen still is not doing well, as we know, with coping, but she is at least moving and putting one foot in front of the other and breathing like all of you have asked her to do.

She is hanging on, and I feel confident that she will continue to do so, and I think that all of you and your love and support are part of the reason. I would also give a lot of that confidence to how I feel about Carleen. I think she is a lot stronger inside than she gives herself credit for. She is wise, intelligent, educated and loving - not to mention absolutely gorgeous, and I have faith in her that she will dig down there and pull all that up a little bit at a time and get through this.

I also feel, though, that she will need us to lean on for quite a while. I thank God that she knows we are here - she KNOWS where to come to find people that care. I also did find and send her some crisis phone numbers in her area and I'm hoping she wrote those down and will call when she is feeling lost and alone. I'm also sure that many of you have given her your telephone numbers, and I pray that she will call you, too. I have truly become a strong believer that talking really does help.

I'm hoping that TR will come here tomorrow, or Carleen herself, and give us an update on how she's doing.

I do love you all so much,

Peggy

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Thank you so much Peggy for letting us know that Carleen is alright and taking a few steps. I am also so relieved her Mom is staying with her. She has a long road but is a super trong woman and she will get through this. My heart just breaks for her!! :(

God bless you Peggy,

Jane

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