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2nd Time around, 1st Dad now Mom


Mulu113

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My dad died in 1988 from small cell, 6 mos after diagnosis. My mother was diagnosed last year in February after repeated bouts of bronchitis. (non-smoker) After her doctor kept giving her antibiotics I decided it was time to see another doctor. He diagnosed her immediataly. She was stage IV in Feb 2005. I was to be married in October of that year, but the doctors told me that if I wanted my mom to share in the joy I needed to speed it up, we changed the date to 7.2.05. My mom underwent carbo/taxol chemo and had 33 hits of radiation. It was a tough battle. When we returned from our honeymoon, the first place we went was to the hospital for a scan, and we were told her cancer is gone.

In January of this year she began to have severe pain in her back. She has a high tolerance of pain and had broken bones and had severe burns and never knew it, so when she was complaining I knew something was up. It turned out she had somehow fractured her spine. They took a biopsy and it came out negative. Then they did a bone scan it also came out negative. Two months later her pain was so severe even on percocet so I brought her to the emergency room. They didn't find anything. Her doctor the next day ordered another scan...she had cancer throughout her bones especially in the pelvic region.

My mother began palliative chemo and we now have help from hospice with her, though she is not yet on hospice care. Her chemo is going to end shortly as the doctor wants her to have quality of life. Hearing the chemo will end has made my mother very upset as she still does not believe she has bone cancer. She remembers my father's pain and says she isn't as in bad shape. (That is when they regulated morphine and didn't have a patch to wear.)

My husband and my two-step children help out as much as possible, and they love her dearly, but everyday it is something new. I am an only child so I am very grateful for my "new" family.

I think our faith is what gets us through the day, and we feel that everyday with my mom is another blessing from God.

Having been through this once and now again I would like to be able to help others as I can.

Laura

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Hello Laura and welcome.

I am so sorry you had need to find a site like this, but glad you have come and posted. It definitely sounds like you have your hands full but your attitude and outlook on things is so good.

Please know that you are not alone. We have all been in similar situations, in one way or another and we are all here for one another.

Keep us posted on your mom and let us know how we can help. This is the greatest bunch of people, so knowledgeable and willing to help in whatever way we can. The support system here is incredible as well.

Sending you and your family prayers and positive thoughts,

Chris

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Laura,

Welcome and let me say how sorry I am that you are dealing AGAIN with LC. For somee odd reason, seems that some of us deal over and over..........so you are not alone. I am glad you found your way here. Together we all get through this some how. We will help each other.

Kasey

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Laura,

I am sorry you had to find us. I was in a similar situation as you in that when my mom was diagnosed in Nov 2003, my Feb 2004 wedding was all booked, paid for, etc. We ended up getitng married a week after her diagnosis and then got married again in Feb.

Also, I am an only child, so I share those issues with you.

If you ever need to tallk , feel free to PM me.

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Laura, I am so very sorry you have to live this nightmare again. I want to welcome you here ,but I'm so sorry you have to be here at all. You will find lots of support here, no doubt about that.

I have no information for you regarding the bone mets, but I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers. I know all too well how devastating your situation is, as my first post to this forum back in 2004 was titled "First Dad, now Mom." My dad died on September 2, 1999 of NSCLC and I tried to bury my head in the sand after losing him, never wanting to hear about LC again. Then my mom was diagnosed with the same stage, bad news again. I lost her on February 8. I am broken. And I am also an only child.

You're correct; every day is a blessing. I wish you strength for the upcoming days, and hope for your mom to be free of pain.

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Rats and double rats! So sorry you have to go through this again, but glad you found us.

My wife was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic NSCLC and given 9 months. She has a very aggressive oncologist, and that is one reason she is still here almost 4 years later, and living a good life. I would agree with others that you should not "settle" yet and get another opinion. My wife's cancer was throughout her bone system when discovered. She has had many chemos and radiation, and it has prolonged her life. I think your mom is right -- fight the beast. Don

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Thanks so much for the advice and support. We have had multiple doctors review her case and unfortunately we hear the same thing...her cancer is too far spread for radiation. They can treat areas for pain, but the cancer is too extensive for anything more. We believe in prayer and a positive attitude. Her main chemo doctor and his assistants offer us a ton of support. They love my mom because she is always smiling and laughing. He doesn't believe in time lines because they are only statistics and he has known too many non-statistics.

One of my best friends is a cancer survivor, breast and inoperable brain....like she says...she has had a DNR signed 10 years ago...but here she is.

God Bless you all!

Laura

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You are going through so much but both your mom and you have an attiutude is to be admired.

I pray they could get her back pain under control and that she could be made comfotable.

Thank you for getting involved here and it's a pleasure to get to know you and that you want to help others. Bless your heart for that.

You mom comes across as being a wonderful lady and she certainly has a wonderful daughter by her side.

We are always here for you 24/7 is you want to vent or just need support.

Maryanne

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