Jump to content

Unleashing a bit


AZCorey

Recommended Posts

My mom was recently diagnosed with lung cancer - and we're meeting with oncologist Monday - and we're also meeting w/Vascular Surgeon Tuesday about putting in port a cath for chemo.

I'm angry, upset, the whole spectrum of emotions - this will be the second member of my family to have lung cancer. My sister died in 02 - she was only 40 yrs old.

My mom is almost 75 and is very fraile to begin with - not sure what options are available - guess I'll find out Monday. I know quality of life IS BY FAR more important than quantity of life - so I'll be keeping that in mind.

I'm juggling work, raising my neice (16 yrs old - my sister's daughter) caring for my mom and getting things in order for what lies ahead. No help from siblings - not going there - long story short - I'm doing it all.

I'm a very head strong person - and I take it a day at a time. I do have a great support system of friends - and my work has been very supportive and understanding of all this. I just do not know what lies ahead - no one does - I'm prepared for the worst and hope for the best! I'm looking for a safe place to vent - I'm sure I'll be full of questions in the weeks to come - and I don't know what else to say - other than - I cannot weather this alone - I know I can't.

Thanks for listening

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi there. I am sorry to read about your sister and now your dear mom. Know that there are many here who have walked in your shoes and we are here for you. It is so overwhelming at the beginning. Ask any question or just come here for support. Whatever you need. Please keep us posted on how you and your mother are doing. Take care

Sandra

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi, welcome to the group. You might be interested in following a couple of discussions that are currently underway at cancergrace.org (GRACE — Global Resource for Advancing Cancer Education). GRACE is led by Dr. Howard "Jack" West, a Seattle oncologist who is an internationally-recognized expert on lung cancer and who gives high priority to promptly answering questions online. A lot of us are "dual citizens" and have the same usernames there as here:

http://cancergrace.org/forums/index.php ... 97#msg8797

http://cancergrace.org/forums/index.php ... 37#msg8837

My Aloha,

Ned

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister, and for your Mom's diagnosis.

Welcome to this wonderful community. It is a place that you will be able to find as a support during your Mom's treatments, and beyond.

Your loving care of your niece, and now your concerns as a result of your Mom's diagnosis, are testaments to your love for your family. You are, indeed, strong and caring.

As you move along the treatment regimen, you will be able to ask questions of your Mom's doctors. It helps to write them down prior to the visits. I usually forget what I wanted to ask in the stress of the actual visit. Having someone with you to "hear" the answers is also helpful.

It might sound trite, but in knowledge, there is power.

Sending you wishes for successful and well-tolerated treatments for your dear mother. There are many stories here from those who have "kicked cancer to the curb."

Barbara

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi and Welcome Corey-- I'm sorry to here about the passing of your sister and your Mom's diagnoses but glad you found us. Very understandable on how you feel. No don't go it (you have a full plate) alone, we all need support along this journey and this is a great place for it. Below is a link that has "Questions To Ask The Doctor" that you might find helpful. You have the right approach in one day at a time and glad you have a great support system with your friends. Stay with us and keep us posted, ask away chances are someone as been there/done that. Prayers for the best and again welcome. Rich

http://lungevity.org/l_community/viewto ... 585#163585

Link to comment
Share on other sites

if there are friends around near you and Mom that may want to 'Help out" sometimes with things, this site may be of assistance to you.

http://www.lotsahelpinghands.com/

Keep in mind that a lot of progress has been made since things in 2002 medical wise. HAng in there and keep us posted about what we can do to help !

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome aboard. Sorry you have to be here. Feel free to drop by anytime to rant, rave, vent, cry, seek information or support. Anything you need in this journey, we're here to help.

Let us know what you need. We'll be waiting for your post after you see the onc.

Judy in Key West

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome-

So sorry to hear that you lost your sister and now your mom is sick. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

I would agree with writing down questions in advance to ask the doctor on Monday. Also, bring paper and pencil to write down things he says. Some people find it helpful to bring a tape recorder so that when you get home, you don't say "what did he say about that"? Its so overwhleming at first but believe me, once you have a treatment plan in place, it does get easier.

Glad to hear that your employment is behind you and that you have a good support system of friends. PLEASE ask them for help, rides, meals, whatever. I always found it hard to ask and have learned to just say thanks when people offer. So many people really WANT to help if they can.

Please come here for whatever help you need; no question is too small to ask and if you need to vent, believe me, we will listen. We have all been there, done that.

Keep us posted on what the doc says Monday. And remember to take good care of yourself, too. Your mom is lucky to have you by her side.

Hugs - Patti B.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome!

I see you have already gotten a lot of good advice. Unfortunately, you are already much too familiar with this disease. Let us know what you learn from the doctors.

On the quality/quantity of life issue. They are not necessarily mutually exclusive. My own mom was 76 when diagnosed and is now 79 and doing well. She has responded well to treatment and has an excellent quality of life. That's not to say that treatment was fun by any means. But she discovered it was not nearly as bad as she feared. In fact, with the exception of a few days in each chemo cycle she kept to a fairly normal schedule of activities. It's different, of course, for everyone. But I just wanted you to know that treatment can dramtically improve quality of life.

Let us know what you find out from the doctors.

Susan

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have gotten a ton of excellent advice. I was able to read everyone's story this weekend - that has given me strength reading what everyone else has gone through and continues to go through. Many thanks to EVERYONE who responded.

All I know is - that during my mom's last hospitalization (2 weeks ago) - we met the oncologist - and due to number/size/location of tumors - he was not looking at radiation. I know there are 2 spots on top of both lungs - and the lower left lung - lots of tumors. PET scan showed it is isolated to the lungs BUT is also on outside lining of lung. I'll be asking my 1000001 questions and THEN SOME today. My mom is 5'7" and weighs 103! So.... I'll see what the dr says this afternoon. I'll keep everyone posted.

Corey

Link to comment
Share on other sites

UPDATE:

Went to the dr this afternoon - and long story short - my mom's case is and I quote "complicated" translating to - in the left lung - she has adnocarcinoma - and in the right lung - they are not sure. MRI shows area of concern on the back of her skull - in the bone - BUT PET scans shows NOTHING of concern. The dr will have another dr review all the test results. If we're just dealing with the lungs and not the back of the skull - then the stage is 3B. If lungs and back of skull - then 4B. Still unclear.

TREATMENT:

We see the thorasic surgeon tomorrow afternoon to schedule outpatient surgery for port a cath. Once the cath is done - then 48 hrs later can schedule chemo. Regarding what type of chemo - the dr is seeing if she qualifies for any Investigational Treatment - but in the meantime - once port a cath is in - she will start the standard tx of Paclitaxel/Carboplatin/Avastin.

Will repeat PET scan in 6 weeks after chemo behind and see where we are.

She is in no pain and presents NO symptoms. What happened in Feburary was she was "sick with the flu" and it became a vicious cycle of her not eating - getting nauseated - can't eat because of nausea - etc. I took her to the ER and thought - give her an IV - hydrate her and we'll be on our way. My mom kept saying she "felt funny". She got her IV - labs came back good - EKG good - the ER dr said - let's do a CAT scan to RULE out a blood clot in your lungs. CAT Scan showed 3 areas of concern - spots in both lungs - and a large mass on bottom of left lung - which was diagnosed as pheumonia. We were referred to a pulmonogist - who said - let's put your mom on antibiotics and repeat the CAT scan in 6 weeks. We did that - CAT scan showed NO CHANGE. Dr wanted a biopsy of the left lung. We did that on April 27th and April 29th I get the phone call - positive for cancer. PET scan done on May 1st and here we are.

I do like the Dr and he gave us a tour where mom will receive chemo. it's 3 minutes from the house. I'll find out tomorrow when we can schedule the port a cath surgery and chemo to follow.

Time for me to get ready for work - thank goodness I can adjust my work hrs - will do home visits on my probationers this evening and hope everyone is in compliance!

Corey

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the update, Corey. The port should make things easier for your mom, especially after she's been on chemo for a while. You might ask if they're planning to install a "PowerPort" — this is used not only for blood draws and chemo infusions (like the older ports) but can also handle the additional pressure of dye injections for scans. I got one of those a couple of months ago to replace my original port, which had been in since September 2006. Both of mine were installed with local anesthesia, and recovery was no problem, just a sore shoulder for a few days.

Your mom will be getting the same chemo combination I started with. It was a fairly challenging treatment, but I had no nausea at any time. Eating did become a problem because of mouth and throat irritation, so I drank a lot of Ensure, Boost, their Wal-Mart clones, and the much better tasting Carnation Instant Breakfast mixes dissolved in milk (dairy or soy). It's also necessary to stay a step ahead of the constipation. Let us know whenever the various side effects start to appear, and we can give you lots of tips. Best wishes and Aloha,

Ned

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Corey,

Thanks for the update on your mom. Your mom will be getting the same chemo my mom just finished. At 78/79 she handled it well. Like Ned said, some soreness in her mouth. Sucking on ice chips during chemo can help to reduce that and a little something called "magic mouthwash" can help relieve the symptoms.

Mom received chemo once every three weeks for 6 treatments. She would be fine the day of the infusion and the day after. By day three, she would start to feel very tired and achy. That would last for 2-3 days and then she would start feeling better. She experienced no nausea. The day after each infusion she would get a Neulasta shot to keep her white count up. It worked--she never had her white count go below where it needed to and she didn't get sick from infections while taking chemo. The shot does cause some achiness in joints, but some Advil was really all she needed to counter that.

I don't know if your Dr. spoke about this, but the taxol will cause your mom to lose her hair. If she doesn't have one already, she should go ahead and get a wig now so she can have it cut and styled to look like her normal hair. Losing her hair was very hard on my mom psychologically. In many ways it was much harder than the physical side effects.

It sounds like your mom is very lucky to have you. We are here if you have any more questions.

Susan

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.