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Help!!! I have a sick, frustrated, stubborn dad.


Lisa66

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Hi all,

  I hope this post finds everyone well. That is my fervent wish for everyone here.

   This is the story of Larry and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. 😒 Trying for a little bit of levity. Seriously though I was called by my mother last night because my dad, who is in fourth week of chemo/radiation had shaking chills, fever, and chest pains. He wanted to know if anyone on this forum talked of those symptoms. I said I had not seen anything, did he need me to come over. He became uncharacteristicly upset and said no he was just asking. I called the oncology office, and they wanted to speak with him. He said he did not want to talk with a doctor and he was not going to the hospital. He said he was tired of it all.I fear infection, but he has tied my hands. My questions to any here are.......Are these normal chemo symptoms? and is his reactions something any of you experience, or should I be worried about his state of mind?

Thank you so much,

Lisa

 

 

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I'm not an expert but I've been told that this sort of circumstance is very serious...any sign of fever and go to the ER. Chemo seriously compromises the immune system, so it's important to get meds quickly.

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I agree with Josh and Lisa. Any fever during chemo should be treated as an emergency.Neutrophils are a kind of white blood cell that controls infection and they can be depleted by chemo. If they are low, (called neutropenia)  we can get infections easily, not only catching stuff from other people, but by having the normal bacteria that inhabit our own skin and digestive tract cause a system-wide infection that can quickly become lethal. The fever may be the only symptom. Twice during my chemo (for a cancer I had before my lung cancer) I had a low-grade fever and went to the emergency room. Both times my neutrophils were low, once they were a bit low and and the second time they wer ZERO, a true emergency. I was put on two kinds of antibiotics, which dealt with it. 

Subsequently, I was put on Neupogen after each round of chemo, which prevented my neutrophils from crashing again. 

Please do whatever it takes to get your father to the ER now. Severe neutropenia can be fatal in hours.

Bridget O

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Thanks for the information and advice Bridget. He does chemo on Monday so I can’t seem to get him back there, but he has radiation today so I already called in advance and they are going to check him out. Can anyone say mad dadddy. I don’t care though. I love him and he is just gonna have to put up with me. Lol

Thanks again

Lisa

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Lisa,

Calling the clinic ahead of a radiation session was a smart move.  Indeed, the clinic staff will likely check him out.  Hopefully they will order blood work that will point to an infection.  As Bridget says, infection is so easy to get while having chemotherapy.

Stay the course.

Tom

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Hi Tom,

It is hard to boss my drill sergeant daddy around. He still thinks of me as daddy’s whittle girl so I have to out menuver him.Hopefully they will be able to find what’s going on.

Thanks

Lisa

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Just wanted to add my own little update here because it's relevant. I noticed my mom limping last week and asked her what was wrong. She said she just tripped and cut herself and it was nothing.

A few days later I felt she was limping worse, and when I asked her about it, she started screaming and yelling at me (not a rare occurrence). Luckily the doctor looked at it prior to chemo and found she had a pretty nasty and large infection on her foot. 

She was treated with another anti-biotic drip for 2 hours and given a course of oral anti-biotics. It will probably amount to nothing BECAUSE she is being treated.

The point is chemo leaves your immune system shot, so any infection can be serious. It's hard on us caregivers when our loved one is a stubborn and difficult patient (my mom is to the nth degree), but I guess it's part of the territory. When we sign up for this job (or it gets imposed on us), we just have to do our best.

I hope your Dad is doing well.

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Thanks Josh for letting me know I am not the only one:-D. Sometimes is just better to listen to us kids. Lol. I hope this post finds your mother feeling better. I met my dad at his radiation treatment the day after our little run in and he had to go to infusion center for liquids, steroids, and a few other bags of goodies. They said blood pressure was bottoming out and was severely dehydrated. They said if he went home before getting fluids and other meds he could go home go to sleep and not wake up. I had to fight the urge to say see I told you, but he is daddy and I chickened out.

Seriously it is just hard to see them become so sick and there is just not a lot we can do for them.  I often find myself thinking of the old proverb “This to shall pass”.

I wish you and your mom all the best.

Lisa

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Hi Bridget

I just saw your question. Lol

I was telling Josh he had a very low blood pressure and very dehydrated and had to get infusion time. Liquids, steroids , and some other meds. He is not a mad daddy at the moment, but he is a very sick daddy. He gets so much worse every week. He has two more weeks of the radiation/ chemo and then it will be three more weeks of strong chemo. I begin to wonder if he can make it. Everyone here gives me hope. So I just keep reading everyone’s stories and hope for the best.

I hope this finds you well

Lisa

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Thanks for your warm wishes. My mom's foot got better right away with the anti-biotics, and other than that she feels fine. Her hair is beginning to fall out, but honestly she's taking that really well too. It just sucks that she has the awful type of cancer. We'll see if the chemo is being effective in 2 weeks time. Fingers crossed...

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