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anessia

Trying to save Jason

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Jason is my little brother...my Mamaw told me he was sick...I found out today...he expects me to maintain the big sister thing...he's also expected me to always be Xena...I don't think I'm capable of this...HELP...how can I lose one of the only things in life I've loved since his birth?...I'm 47 he's 42...I don't know how to do this...

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Hi Anessia.  I'm sorry - stupid lung cancer stinks.  Give yourself some time to process everything - get mad, scream, cry, curse - whatever works for you.  Do a little research on his diagnosis (small cell vs. non-small cell, mutations, etc.). Then, take your cues from your brother.  Is he planning to undergo treatment?  If he is, be his biggest cheerleader.  Send him notes to make him smile.  Skype/Face Time with him.  If your brother has opted to forego treatment, take a deep breath and then do what you can to be his awesome big sister.  We're always here for you, and him.  We know this is a tough path and we want to help you. 

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Hi, Anessia. Sorry to hear your brother is ill--I know how worrying it is for family members and how helpless they feel.

I think Susan is right on about taking your lead from him--different people have different needs, but everyone can use an uplift.   It's not your job to "save" him, and even if it were, it's just not possible.  We don't have that kind of power.  But just listening, being supportive, helping out with things he might not be strong enough to do himself--those are all meaningful ways of showing your love.  If you have information about his condition you'd like to share, the folks here will be glad to try to help you understand it.

You sound like a great sister.  :)

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Anessia,

You can do this. I felt the same way when my mom/best friend/hero was diagnosed.  You just have to put 1 foot in front of the other, hold your head up, and keep pushing forward, even if you are pushed back a few steps.  Sometimes that's all we can do.  A lung cancer diagnosis is a huge punch to the gut for all involved.  The good news is that there are lots of different treatment options available today, if he decides to pursue treatment.  It's exhausting being Xena, but you can do it.

Take Care,

Steff

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