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devastated...


Guest mcfc

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it's been a long 3 days...

Day 1 (Wednesday): Mom (72, quit smoking 33 years ago) goes to neurologist with chronic persistent back pain. Lesions on ribs noticed.

Day2: Blood work, CT Scan, bone scan

Day 3: Oncologist DX Stage IV LC. Biopsy tomorrow to determine type.

I have spent the whole weekend on-line. Oncologist was not liberal with information, so I have been trying to educate myself. It seems the news is bad. My father was already suffering from depression. I'm already exhausted. I'm devasted. This seems like a good place. I understand that I need to be positive, but I'm trying to get a dose of reality also...

thank you... :cry:

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Guest bean_si (Not Active)

We're here for you. You'll find plenty of info. Check under New Treatments and LC in the News. We're also here to hold your hand when the going gets rough. You'll find that there's a tremendous amount of people who take the time and energy to support others.

Cat

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I am so sorry you needed to find us but this is the best place on the web that I have found for information and support. Welcome, in ths sad sort of way.

For us, the first two weeks were spent in shock, then we settled in for the long haul and just did what we had to do. You will find you are stronger than you ever knew - maybe your father, too.

It seems to me that there is a lot more that can be done than we ever heard of, or than was possible in the past. Be open and it could be things will not be quite as bleak as you see them now ...

Best wishes for you and your family, bookmark this site, it will really help. Come back and let us know what is happening.

Margaret

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Sorry you had to find us but for support and info glad you did. This is a good site to get answers when you can't find them anywhere else. Plus there is a great group of people here who understand were you are emotionaly and will give you the support when things are confusing.

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Hi and welcome,

Here you will find an extended family of friends that will help you. These people are caring, understanding and compassionate. I dont know about you but I needed all of that when I joined and still do. Forget the internet and ask your questions here. These are real people that have been through the same crisis you find yourself in right now. We will all help you in any way we can. I am so sorry about your Mom and you are all in my prayers.

Gos bless you,

Jane

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Wecome, you are going through one of the toughest times associated with this awful disease. But as others have said, you will find strength that you did not know you had and believe it or not you will reach a new normal life. Not the same as it was, but livable and and quite often very enjoyable. Just keep your head up and have at it as best you can, and oh yeah, when you need to, cry your eyes out (really helps).

luv

jim

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thanks everyone for your kind words...biopsy now scheduled for Thursday, I'll let you all know...I can't think of anything else, and I think the numbness is wearing off.

Fabian

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Hi mcfc and WELCOME!

I certainly understand your fears - we all do. Like Margaret said, it takes about two weeks to get over the shock. That time seems to be pretty consistent for most of us. It does get better. Once you and your family have a diagnosis and treatment plan, you will be in the fight with the rest of us and will wonder where all your strength came from. I hope your father is receiving some professional help for his depression because your mom will certainly need his support as well. By the way, my husband also hasn't smoked for 30 years and there are a lot of people here who never smoked at all and weren't even around secondhand smoke. On this site, we don't even consider those points because every person is equally as important to God as the other, and no one deserves lung cancer whether they smoked or not. We just talk about getting on with the treatment.

Lots of hugs for you to tell you it will be ok.

Peggy

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Welcome! I am so sorry that your Mother is so ill. I know you must be terrified and overwhelmed, everyone is at first, but wait until you get all the facts before you panic. Once you work a plan of action with your Mom's doctors you will feel stronger and more able to start the fight.

Prayers and positive thoughts coming out to you.

Paddy

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Fabian,

I just want to second and third what the others have said. Welcome to our family. When you find out more of the particulars we will be more able to help with life stories. Just know that alot of us are around a lot longer than any statistics said we would be. There is life with lung cancer. Its a new normal ...but it can be fun. I am sorry you're having to go through this. Right now you are in shock. You will find that you have more strength than you ever thought you had...and so will your parents. Keeping you in my thoughts.

Nina

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My mom was just diagnosed with NSCLC, but we don't know much yet. She just had a pet scan this morining and that should give her oncologist enough info to stage her. The more I read about this disease the less hopeful I feel... this is a devestating disease. I want to keep my positive attitude but these statisitics...welll you know.

mandy

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Welcome, mcfc and Mandy.

The reality is, nobody has a guarantee on how long their life will be. And even if the odds of survival are 1 in 1,000 - nobody knows who the lucky one will be.

We all do the best we can, and hope for the best. This site is a great place for information "from the trenches" and for support.

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I just wanted to welcome you and tell you that you will find this a place of comfort and support. You will find all the members helpful and full of guidance and endless support and information based upon their own battles and experiences with lung cancer. Ask them, they will help you.

Try not to explore the internet too much looking for answers and getting statistics. Each story is a different story .......no two are exactly alike.

Use the internet more for research on what you can do to help and as a learning tool as to what new developments and treatments are out there now. The statistics will wear you down and wear you out and that's not where you want to be .

My best to you and your family.

Kate

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Fabian and Mandy,

Just to add my 2 cents -- welcome and don't let yourself get overwhelmed by those awful statistics. I know that I was when my husband was first diagnosed. As for him, all he could say is "How much time do I have?" It took us a while to understand that those statistics are not writ in stone, that each case is different. But there are some universals -- the fear and, yes, the understandable depression that comes with all this.

Fabian, make sure your father gets some help so HE can help too. And you can expect your mother to undergo real anxiety -- it took me a long time before I could persuade my husband to take medication for that (I'm on ENOUGH other stuff, he kept saying), but it worked wonders when he did. Made him much more able to handle all the rest of what comes with this dreadful diagnosis and its aftermath.

After this initial shock, it's just a matter of one day at a time, taking what comes and dealing with it, being as proactive as you can with the medical staff to ensure that the best treatment is being given, looking for the best information you can garner -- and this is a great source for that. The people here have seen it all -- and dealt with it. The internet IS also an invaluable resource as long as you can look past the discouragement that inevitably comes along with it. Kate is right.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both and your family. Keep coming back here!

Ellen

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  • 1 month later...

Hi all:

Many thanks for all your kind words....

It's been 9 (long) weeks...biopsy came back as NSCLC. Pet scan showed mets to vertebrae and multiple tiny brain lesions. My mom just finished two weeks of whole-brain and back raditation. A week after she finshed, she developed blood clots in both legs. She is now on thinners. The Oncologist will be determining the type of chemo later this week.

The shock did wear off (as everyone said it would) and now we are moving ahead with life. Over the last few days she has started to lose her appetitite for the first time, and also some mobility. My Mom is so frightened.

Thank you.

Fabian

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Glad to see that you have survived those first couple of months - they are the toughest.

If your Mom is worried about starting chemo, tell her that my Mum commenced her second-line chemo a couple of weeks ago. She is now on taxotere, and previously completed 6 months of cisplatin and gemcitabine. That is a pretty rigorous schedule, and she has come through with very little in the way of side-effects. I hope that your Mom fares just as well. Chemo does not have to be as frightening as it once was - there are lots of medications to help with the side-effects.

This is still a very scary journey, but you are in good company.

My best wishes to you and your family.

Karen

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