Missy_GA Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Hello everyone. First, I want to say that I'm sorry for even posting here because I have no diagnosis of LC and have no family member dealing with it. However, I'm terrified that I may have it. I'm a 32 year old smoker (about 11 years now, pack a day). I've been experiencing blood streaked sputum for about the past month or so (probably longer). It's not every day, although it is becoming more frequent. It isn't a lot as far as volume goes, but it's still there nevertheless. The last couple days I've been feeling pressure or tightness in my mid back. I went to the doctor for a physical a couple months ago and had blood worked that came back with an elevated ANA. So my doctor is thinking Lupus and I have an appt. with a rheumy on the 31st of this month. I didn't mention the hemoptysis to him. I'm scared to death. I know that it could be something else, but I just have this nagging feeling that it's LC. I've been lurking on this board for awhile and you all seem like such nice people, I thought I'd see if you could give me some advice ....or support. I know that the first thing you'll say is go to the doctor...I'm sure that the rheumy will order chest x-rays next week, so that will be taken care of then. I just don't know where else to turn...I don't want to alarm my family until I know for sure that it's something to worry about. I have a 15 year old son and an 11 month old daughter. Please pray that this is nothing that is going to take me from them. I will continue to keep you all in my prayers. Thanks in advance for any responses. Missy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ry Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Yep, the first thing I'm gonna say is go to the doctor. It is what you don't know that hurts you. Go for that baby and hope you made it in time. Then come back and tell us that you have pneumonia or something...wishing all the very best... Rochelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Connie B Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Hi Missy and Welcome! Well, the first thing I'm going to say is your right, we are a bunch of WONDERFUL people here! Then the second thing I'm going to say, is DITTO to what RY said!! Honey, your fears are real and we know just what that feels like. So, on that note, PEACE OF MIND is 9/10ths of this battle. Go get it checked out, and then come back and tell us YOUR JUST FINE!!! (((((MISSY))))) I know it's hard for YOU to think positive, but I'll do it for you. God Bless and Good Luck. Keep us posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Hi Missy..... The FIRST thing I'm going to say to you...is that we all understand your fear. The second thing I'm going to say....you already knew you'd be hearing....GO to the DOCTOR!! This could well be something other than l.c. - but either way, you need to know and you need to know asap! You've got a couple of terrific motivations for not fooling around with this or hiding from what it "might be"...and that's your two children. The fear is quite normal...we've all felt it to some degree....but it's what we do IN SPITE of that fear that often makes the difference. Whatever this is, honey....it likely won't just go away. But don't presume the worst...just go and get the tests done in order to get a diagnosis....and then go from there. We'll be here if you need us...but I'm hoping you won't. I'm hoping this is something other than l.c. Please talk to your doctor...tell him EVERYTHING....get the tests you need...and then come back and let us know the outcome. I'll be waiting to hear back from you......... Best wishes.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathy Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Hi Missy, Absolutely go to the doctor, its the only way of knowing for sure..We will be here if you need us, hopefully you wont..Please let us know.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy_GA Posted August 23, 2004 Author Share Posted August 23, 2004 Thank you all so much for the quick responses. I feel such a variety of emotions...of course fear, but also guilt for various reasons. One, because if, in fact, I do have it, I've brought it on myself. Two, for not going to the doctor sooner. I feel like I'm letting my children down by not being more aggressive, but I'm paralyzed by fear. I had a few episodes of hemoptysis when I was pregnant with my daughter, Lily. I did tell my OB about it, but he said "oh I do the same thing....it's sinuses". No x-ray was ordered..nothing. I was concerned then, but it went away and I hadn't had a problem with it again up until a couple months ago. Maybe that was my warning sign, and I didnt' heed it. That was well over a year ago...so now, I'm worried more than ever. Sorry to ramble....just sorta getting all my thoughts out that I've kept to myself for too long. Thanks again for the support! Missy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snowflake Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 YOU DID NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF!Don't EVEN step into that way of thinking. Non-smokers get lung cancer, believe me, I know... DON'T accept blame for a disease because of a nasty habit you have/had. This is NOT your fault, enough people will imply that, DON'T let yourself be your worst critic. It's not fair, it's not right...and heck, right now, you could "just" be suffering from TB...or a lung infection....or pneumonia...or many, many other things. If this turns out to be nothing, heed your "wake up call" and drive on, go on with life. IF, however, you are truly joining the family, get your treatment started NOW. Start taking care of yourself, eat healthy, exercise...spend time with your family, do the things you want to do (well, do that no matter what, life is about special moments, the petty stuff is just white noise). Hang in there, Missy. Things have a way of working themselves out. You could just be jumping to the "worst case scenario", don't go there (to the place with the monsters) unless you have to. Becky Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haylee_38 Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Missy, It could be one of many things. The only way to be sure is to go see the doctor. My thoughts are with you and please keep us updated. Haylee Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tnmynatt Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Missy, Don't wait for the 31st...Go NOW. As others have said, it could be something else that is easily treatable. Not knowing is worse than knowing. Try not to feel guilty because you didn't tell your dr. everything. It's important to tell you dr. NOW. Take care. I am praying for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJ Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 i definitely agree about seeing the doctor before jumping into any conclusions (much, much more easier said than done, i know). regardless of the results, always remember that there are options for you and your family. i welcome you to the site, and i hope that you can garner as much info and support as you need. there are wonderful people on this site that have provided so much support, even if it doesn't concern lung cancer, so you are always welcome. take care. God bless, mj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brm1949 Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 I agree with eceryone else, don't wait, go get the test done now. By the way, welcome Missy to the place no one wants to be but are grateful that its here. I pray that you are only visiting and not need our support, but we will be here if need be. Please do not play head games with yourself about LC. It doesn't play fair, get yourself checked out as soon as possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addie Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Just to back up what Becky said.....I'll repeat it: You did NOT do this to yourself!!! So put that thought out of your head...as it will do you NO good if this does turn out to be cancer. I smoked for 40 years. My hubby smoked longer than that and he smoked MORE than I did. I've got cancer and he doesn't! Every single person in my immediate family, including aunts and uncles, smoked....and I'm the only one to get small cell l.c.! And as Becky said, there are plenty of people out there who NEVER smoked and got lung cancer....so IF this is cancer....playing the blame game on yourself is pointless. The bottom line is....NOBODY deserves this disease! Blame has no place in any of this...and blaming yourself is non-productive. Try to believe that the fear or not knowing is worse than knowing exactly what it is you are facing, because it's the truth. Once you know what this is...then you can plan for how to treat it. To do nothing...to let yourself be paralyzed by the fear....can have tragic consequences...so please, tell your doctor everything and get things rolling towards a diagnosis. We do understand the fear..and I hope that by getting some of your feelings out here...among others who understand your feelings...that it will help you find the courage to push to find answers. Trust me, you'll be better off knowing and setting up a plan to treat whatever this is...than you'll be to let yourself stay paralyzed and fearful. We're here to support you....so find a wee kernel of courage and run with it. We'll help....ok? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Lamb Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Missy,Ditto to what everyone already said.The sooner you go the better.I as the others hope you don't have cancer,but if you do the sooner you start fighting it the better.Please keep us posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
betplace Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Missy, 1 go to the Dr. 2. Get a Cat Scan, not an Xray, If it is Cancer it will show up better. 3. Ease up on yourself sweetie, you are only human. 4. Stop and smell the flowers, it will help you destress, and come back to see us often, welcome to our board. Blessings Betty Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NellW Posted August 23, 2004 Share Posted August 23, 2004 Missy, You are welcome here for sure, and , risking sounding like a broken record.. run, don't walk to the doctor. And add my voice to what Becky said too.. YOU DID NOT DO THIS TO YOURSELF, and that thinking is so hard on you. That said, I also agree, come back and tellus how you are. xxoo Praying for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nancy B Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Welcome Missy, Glad you found us. PLEASE get to a doctor asap. Hopefully it is not cancer but if it is you need to know right away. Insist on a CT scan and make the doctors take you seriously. Don't do the guilt thing - you do not deserve cancer (if that is what it is). Take care of yourself and please keep us posted. WE CARE Hugs. Nancy B Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.C. Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Missy, Please do all you can to ease your fear. Keep us posted, Hugs J.C. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 Missy-- I experienced similar symptoms in the late spring, along with an AWFUL cough. I sounded just like Geoff's mom (no kidding). As a result of my soon-to-be MIL's recent lung cancer dx (and the research I had done about the disease), a little voice in my head scared the stuffing out of me. The fact that I then learned that I also had a student in my class with a severe case of active TB that my school was trying to keep hush-hush (and a nice, friendly, loving SHOVE from my fiancee and family) made me call my doctor and NOT downplay either my symptoms or concerns. He was leaving the office for the weekend--but told me to call my insurance company and get the name of a clinic where I could get a thorough exam (yes, that means x-ray) stat! I did so--and I do not have either TB or LC. I had a bad case of strep plus pnemonia plus the infestation of 8 million other germs that a teacher is bombarded by every day (and fights off when she does not have strep + pnuemonia + the stress that comes with having two moms with cancer). What peace of mind I had after having those x-rays. Had my results been otherwise--I would have had the knowledge to get on the horn to start treatment asap. Win/win (even if the dx. was LC or TB). Yet--I did feel silly (and was honestly scared!) calling my doctor. And he's a great guy! Rational? NO WAY. Real? Yes. Just push through those fears and get thee to the doctor, pronto. Then come back to us, vent, keep us posted, etc. Melinda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 P.S. -- I forgot to say: no apologies needed!!! Now get off the internet and go to the doctor! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lilgna Posted August 24, 2004 Share Posted August 24, 2004 We, everyone of us on this board have had every emotions you are going through and understand - believe me.. First, fear is natural and expected, go to the DR. now... Only they can tell you what it is... I will be hopeful it is nothing at all to worry about. Let us know.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Missy_GA Posted August 25, 2004 Author Share Posted August 25, 2004 Thank you all so very much for all the responses and support. I truly couldn't have asked for a better group of people to come to with my fears. I know that most won't agree or understand my decision, but I have decided just to wait until Tuesday before seeing a doctor. I haven't experienced the hemoptysis in a couple days (I know that means nothing) but somehow it gives me some hope....maybe false hope, but hope, nevertheless. I'm just going to spend this next week loving everyone a little bit harder and hugging extra tight. The fear that my world may be turned upside down next week is very real. I'm just putting faith in God that whatever it is, I will be able to make it through. I believe strongly in prayer and I know that whatever God has planned for me...that's the road I will travel. Thanks again for everything. I'll update you guys as soon as I know anything. Hugs & Thanks, Missy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angie Daughter of Bill Posted August 25, 2004 Share Posted August 25, 2004 I'm glad that you are seeing a doctor soon. Hopefully, it is nothing. I also believe STRONGLY in the power of prayer. I'm sending some heavy duty prayers that you do not have lung cancer. Please do come back and let us know what you find out. We tend to get attached to each other around here. In my thoughts and prayers~~~ Angie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda Posted August 26, 2004 Share Posted August 26, 2004 Missy-- You are in our thoughts and we'll be anxiously waiting to hear how things go at the doctor's next week. All the best, Melinda and Geoff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remembering Dave Posted August 26, 2004 Share Posted August 26, 2004 Missy, welcome, I pray that you do not have LC. I am glad you ae going to the doc. soon. Please let us know what is going on. We ae all here for you. David C Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fall54 Posted August 30, 2004 Share Posted August 30, 2004 Dear Missy, I'm sorry it has taken me so long to post to you but I have been away. I know fear can paralise(sp) some people but you have two children to think about and cant afford to be paralised with fear. I am hoping and praying with all my heart that your worst fears are not justified. I am also welcoming you to this board and hoping you dont need us. God Bless You, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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