The nature of the World Wide Web is the essence of its creators. We’ve made a conduit of ideas and information that chronicles every facet of human behavior and lots of non-human behavior. One can find a searchable version of the bible and then click to something that would be an embarrassing find in the bible. The Internet is encyclopedia, newspaper, entertainment, and abstraction all available with only one precondition, access.
I was diagnosed with late-stage lung cancer in 2004. The Internet existed but people-to-people interactions were limited to mostly email. Nevertheless, the Internet allowed access to all kinds of information about lung cancer—some of it scholarly and some of it junk. As I recall, there was nothing resembling today’s cancer message boards where people could communicate, consult, and commiserate with one another. Today, there are many and I’ll reveal how one helped me recover from depression and find hope.
In March 2006, I was in active third line treatment, infused Taxol and Carboplatin hardened by the oral chemotherapy drug Tarceva. After three failed surgeries and twelve failed chemotherapy cycles. My lung cancer was persistent and I was depressed. Watching TV on a Sunday afternoon in the throes of side effects, I saw a CNN broadcast interview with Phillip Berman, M.D. Phil was a radiologist, never smoker, and lung cancer patient who ironically was diagnosed about the same time as me. He started a cancer blog to keep friends and family informed about his treatment. It morphed into RedToeNail.org. I joined, thus starting my therapy online.
Why does it work for me? First is recognition that I’m not alone. Cancer treatment is a slog through appointments and side effects. It is beneficial to be reminded that others are trudging that same ground. Next, these people understand my disease, its treatments and mistreatments. Moreover, they have useful tips and tricks that work! I recall to this day the suggestion I eat a steamed bowl of plain rice each morning before taking Tarceva. It laughed at Imodium, but respected the rice. Last, it is a channel for me to express my thoughts, ideas and uncertainties with people who completely understand. To say they’ve been there and done that is a vast understatement. They designed the tee shirt the experts purchased!
Today’s Internet has many opportunities to connect survivors and caregivers. There is the ubiquitous thumbs-up symbol, short sentence reply, and emoji of popular social media platforms. This is fast-paced therapy connecting hundreds, perhaps thousands quickly. It is useful, but I prefer message boards. I like to take the time to read, reflect, and recall my experience when someone reaches out for help. Both, however, are effective. It is interesting to explore why.
I’ve attended hundreds of cancer support groups. They are beneficial, but I well recall my first several sessions. Certainly I was made welcome, but the fear I had of my disease was bested only by the fear I felt talking about it. I’m a relaxed public speaker but not a public cancer speaker. As I grew comfortable with a group, I realized another downside. Regulars stopped showing up. The very nature of lung cancer makes support groups a population in decline. Moreover, treatment side effects always seemed to coincide with the support group meeting. People in treatment didn’t feel well enough to attend.
I’ve also been an individual support resource both in person and telephonically. First meetings are a bit awkward but these can be very effective for both survivors. There is a shared experience and in every case, this led to a meaningful relationship. There is that same downside of the support group; lung cancer claims a life and now it is a life I was personally and emotionally connected to. It takes a very special constitution to provide survivor-to-survivor support and mine doesn’t measure up.
So I work the message boards, mostly at the LUNGevity Forum but some others. I am relatively new to the LUNGevity Forum and it is fascinating to read the history of the survivors, year after year. Some move on to other activities but return after a long absence to a rousing welcome.
Why? For exactly the same reason online support resources are so effective. We celebrate life. Stop by and say hello.
Stay the course.