Don't Help Me. Please Help Me.
Don't help me.
I am a fiercely independant woman. i am a survivor. I am strong. I will beat this (insert cancer type/condition here) and my life will inspire others. If I show weakness then it wins. I will get up everyday and tackle the world. I will do my hair and put on lipstick and look as amazing as I can so no one will know that I am "sick". I will not ask anyone for help. I will carry all of the groceries into the house. I will change the water bottle on the water cooler. I will carry packages to Fex Ex. I will walk the dogs. I will drive myself to scan appointments and blood draws and biopsies. I will wash and dry laundry and I will never miss a single day of work.
Please help me.
I get up everyday in pain. It takes me longer these days to do my hair and put on my lipstick. I carry all the groceries into the house and I have to sit, catch my breath before I put them away. I wait until I am practically dying of thirst before I change the water bottle on the cooler. I carry the heavy packages into Fed Ex one 5 pound box at a time. I no longer walk the dogs- that's what the doggy door is for. I drive myself to scan appointments and wring my hands and bounce my leg because I am afraid of bad results. I drive myself to biospies and sometime I cry when I'm alone and putting my clothes back on. I can take laundry for 4 people up the stairs and put them away, but my body will hurt for two days after. I never miss a single day of work- but sometimes I am working from my bed.
It's easier for me to help others than it is to help myself. While I want to do everything myself- there are times that I get really annoyed if those I love don't offer to help me.
To their credit how can they know I need help when I don't look or act "sick"?
Ask me.
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