Liveurlife,
I understand the shock. My mom went from Stage 1 before surgery to a 3a during surgery (they found more cancer during surgery). It was a punch to the gut. But with today's advancements in treatment, a late stage diagnosis does not carry the death sentence it once did a few years ago. My mom is 4 years out of her original diagnosis. Yes it came back, and yes she had to have more treatment, but she is out of treatment and is NED (no evidence of disease).
I can't venture to guess what the cause of your husband's pleural effusion was, my mom had a few bouts with pleural effusions although none were found to have cancers cells in them.
I totally get your anger and feeling of powerlessness. I think we all feel it whether we are the one with cancer or the caregiver. It's a normal part of the process of being diagnosed with a serious condition. But as I said before, there has been great advancements in treatment which gives us all HOPE. The good news is that your husband will benefit from these treatment advances. It sounds like your husband will receive the current standard of care for late stage diagnoses. It was just 3 years ago when my mom was told her best bet for treating her lung cancer recurrence was Keytruda + carbo + alimta (it has just been "approved" 1 month prior to her diagnosis). Many, many people have benefited from this treatment combo, including my mom. She responded so well that she only had to receive 6 doses of keytruda + chemo before she went to keytruda only. Her treatment was not a walk in the park, but she regularly says that when her lung cancer comes back, she would definitely do it all again. I kept track of my mom's story here on the forums. You can read it here.
I came here looking for HOPE and I found it. I hope you are able to do the same.
Take Care,
Steff