Ann

If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time, If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without liquor, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, ...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

One Monday morning the UPS guy is driving the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles.."Wow, Bob", looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night, the UPS man comments.Bob, in obvious pain, replies "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we all got so drunk around midnight that's when we started playing "WHO AM I." The UPS man thinks a moment and says, "How do you play "WHO AM I?" "Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our 'privates' showing through a hole in the sheet then the women try to guess who it is." The UPS man laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that." "Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times."

DIFFERENCE IF YOU MARRY A SOUTHERN GIRL The first man married a woman from OHIO. He told her that she was to do the dishes and house cleaning. It took a couple of days, but on the third day, he came home to see a clean house and dishes washed and put away. The second man married a woman from MICHIGAN. He gave his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes and the cooking. The first day he didn't see any results, but the next day he saw it was better. By the third day, he saw his house was clean, the dishes were done and there was a huge dinner on the table. The third man married a girl from THE SOUTH. He ordered her to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed, and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day, some of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye, and his arm was healed enough that he could fix himself a sandwich and load the dishwasher. He still pees with some difficulty.

Can you tell I'm from Tennessee? Tina is also from Tennessee and I hope she reads this one!!!

Lil, I surely am glad that it's cool in California because we're still having our October heat wave here in Florida. The high today is supposed to be about 96 and with the heart index, it should feel like it's over 100. The rest of the week is supposed to be like this and then we are going to have a big cool down on Saturday, with a high of 88...lol!!! This is my favorite time of year and I do miss the nice fall weather that I grew up with in Tennessee. But, I guess this is the price we have to pay for living in Florida. There are so many people here that would love to move somewhere else but the economy has them tied here. They can't even sell their homes for what they owe on them and people are terrified of losing their jobs. Like you, I hope our Judy is OK this morning. Maybe she's found a cool breeze there in the Keys and is chillin". Glad to hear your car is getting fixed. That will make you feel a lot better about life in general. Ann

You go, girlfriend!!! Tell those people that they're really going to "miss the water when the well goes dry." You and Terry are both adults and are very capable of making adult decisions about your lives!!!

Subject: PHONES IN CHURCH PHONES IN CHURCH A man in Topeka , Kansas decided to write a book about churches around the country. He started by flying to San Francisco and started working East from there. Going to a very large church, he began taking photographs and making notes. He spotted a golden telephone on the vestibule wall and was intrigued with a sign, which read "Calls: $10,000 a minute." Seeking out the pastor he asked about the phone and the sign. The Pastor answered that this golden phone is, in fact, a direct line to Heaven and if he pays the price he can talk directly to GOD. The man thanked the pastor and continued on his way. As he continued to visit churches in Seattle, Dallas, St. Louis, Chicago, Milwaukee, and many cities and towns all around the United States, he found more phones, with the same sign, and the same answer from each pastor. Finally, he arrived in Tennessee , upon entering a church in the beautiful mountainous region of Tennessee, behold - he saw the usual golden telephone. But THIS time, the sign read, "Calls: 35 cents." Fascinated, he asked to talk to the pastor, "Reverend, I have been in cities all across the country and in each church I have found this Golden telephone and have been told it is a direct line to Heaven and that I could talk to GOD, but in the other churches the cost was $10,000 a minute. Your sign reads only 35 cents a call. Why?" I love this part ... The pastor, smiling broadly, replied, "Son, you're in Tennessee now... You're in God's Country. It's a local call." American by Birth - Tennessean by the Grace of God. And why Tennesseans do go barefoot: When you're in Tennessee you're on Holy ground!

It's hot...hot....hot here on central Florida's Space Coast!!! I think an egg would fry on the hood of my car faster than it would on my electric stove...lol!! I love the fall and this heat wave we're having is really ticking me off, as I'm looking forward to some nice, cool temperatures. Hey, how can we have frost on the pumpkins if this keeps up??? Nothing much here to talk about except for this heat wave, so I'll let someone else "Air" now. Ann

I don't know how much more upbeat I can be today, Judy. It feels like Friday but it's only Wednesday....boo-hoo. This week has seemed so very long and I am definitely ready for a Friday. Although I still have to work on Friday, it's always just such a great feeling to know that the weekend is right around the corner. Also, our office closes at 3:00 on Friday and having that couple of extra hours off really makes a big difference. It is hot...hot...hot here today!!! I am so envious of you guys that are actually having a fall season. The radio said the heat index today would be 104 (what it feels like). I have just had enough of this and am ready for some "fling open the windows and turn off the A/C" days. Judy, I hope you're getting some good breezes from all that beautiful water that surrounds you!!! Sorry...but things here are on the bla-bla-bla side today, too. So, I'm counting on someone to really spice up The Air with some juicy comments. Ann

It's so very good to hear from you. my friend. I'm so happy to hear that things are going good for you and that you have found love and happiness! Please keep in touch with us.

It's so very good to hear from you. my friend. I'm so happy to hear that things are going good for you and that you have found love and happiness! Please keep in touch with us.

I'm so glad that I'm not the only person that feels this way at this time of year. I'm glad that so much attention has been given to raising funds for breast cancer research but thee are so many of us, touched by lung cancer, that are here....screaming to what appears to be a deaf world!!!

So very saddened to hear this news about the loss of another of our members.

I'm not too picky when it comes to name brands versus store brands, since I always like to save money. But, one thing that has to be right is hubby's coffee. It MUST be Folgers....always Flogers.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Tammy)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Well, you already know how I feel about this relationship, Lil. I wasn't going to post but then I thought there may be other surviving spouses in a similar situation and decided to post. I have told you, on numerous times, that you should follow your heart and live for today and not live in the past. Your involvement with someone new will never diminish the love you shared with Johnny and you will always carry Johnny in your heart, just as I carry Dennis. Your life is not over. You've an attractive, vibrant woman with a lot to offer in a relationship. You definitely should not spend the rest of your life wondering about "what might have been" when you have the opportunity to really make it happen. I believe that God gave us a beautiful life and that He wants each of us to enjoy their life to the fullest. I think you need to throw all of your troubles to the wind and go forward with life. No relationship is a sure things and we all take chances every time we decide to become involved. Your Johnny was someone that always lived life to the fullest and ever took a few walks on the wild side, so I'm convinced that he would not want you to spend the rest of your life mourning for him!!! Honey....just think of what Maxine would do!!! She's say "what the hell" and then she'd go for it!!! I know you love Maxine and I think right now is the ideal time for you to start taking some of her advice. I'm not an expert on anything but when it comes to this....I've been there and had all of the same feelings you are working through!!!

I'm with Lil on the coupons that I'm not going to use. I seem to always toss them in my purse before I go out and then I forget to toss them when I haven't used them. I also am really bad about sticking receipts down in my purse and then having a ton of them in my purse.

What are some name brand items that you always prefer to buy over generics/store brands in the grocery store?

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us. Please know that we are always here for you!!!

Good morning, All. It's an absolutely beautiful morning here in Palm Bay, Florida. We had a little cold front pass through and it gave us a well deserved cool down for a couple of days. When I left for work this morning, it was about 70 and there was absolutely NO humidity. My hair is in complete shock!!! It's supposed to get to the mid 80's today but...this was nice while it lasted. A cold front this early set some records for us and I'm hoping it's a sign of a nice cool winter to come. Judy....I have a great recommendation regarding the Omega 3. I have tried lots of different Omega 3 pills and all have given me that terrible fishy taste an hour or so after I take them. My health food store carried a liquid brand, can't remember the name, that is great. It's in the refrigerated section and it tastes just like lemon pie. Really...I love it. You take 2 tsp daily and there's no wicked after taste. The lady at the health food store told me that when the Omega 3's aren't distilled properly you get that oily fish taste. This liquid has no fishy taste at all!!! Heidi...Hope the new meds work for you! It's always a worry to take something that's new but I'm sure it will be fine. I'm very relieved to hear it's not a heart related issue. Ann

If you were to clean out your purse right now what odd things would you find? Guys....answer the same question but substitute wallet for purse....unless you carry a purse.

Summer Classes for Men at THE adult LEARNING CENTER REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Friday, October 16th 2009 NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM Class 1 How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation. Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 2 The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself? Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours. Class 3 Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice. Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 4 Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics. Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks. Class 5 Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink? Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 PM Class 6 Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other. Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM Class 7 Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming. Open Forum Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. Class 8 Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health. Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 9 Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined Class 10 Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks? Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours. Class 11 Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife. Online Classes and role-playing Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined Class 12 How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. Class 13 How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours. Class 14 The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used. Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined. Upon completion of any of the a bove courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors. Send this to all the guys that you think can stand the heat, and to all the ladies for the best chuckle of their day!

5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic , warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be very emotional at times but a true person in every way. You like to do things for yourself and help others learn about themselves

DESSERT PERSONALITY TEST No cheating. If all of the eight desserts listed below were sitting in Front of you, which would you choose (sorry..., you can only pick one)! Trust me...., this is very accurate. Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you. REMEMBER - No Cheating...! Make your choice before you check the meaning. After taking this dessert personality test, please post your favorite dessert choice. Here are your choices: 1. Angel Food Cake 2. Brownies 3. Lemon Meringue Pie 4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing 5. Strawberry Short Cake 6.Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing 7. Ice Cream 8. Carrot Cake No, you can't change your mind once you scroll down, so think carefully about what your choice will be. OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what the researchers say about you..... SCROLL DOWN---No Cheating 1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE -- Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times. 2. BROWNIES -- You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal. 3. LEMON ME RINGUE -- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are an excellent caregiver and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, you set your own style because you do your own thing. You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends. 4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lacking motivation.. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad.... However, you are a friend for life.. 5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic , warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be very emotional at times but a true person in every way. You like to do things for yourself and help others learn about themselves. 6. CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING-- Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh. 7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports... You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance. 8. CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends. You were meant to lead and teach others. A wonderful role model.

Judy....thanks for doing that! I have been snowed under at work and am just now able to see the computer screen over this stack of paperwork on my desk!!!