Ann

Wow...what a wonderful post. I really like the ending about living in the past making you tearful and living in the future making you fearful. I have found, the hard way, that living for this day and this moment is what life is all about. I have learned that I pretty much set the tone for each day of my life. Thinking about losing Dennis makes me sad. There are more than enough reminders that pop in my head every day without me dwelling on the way things were when he was with me. Accepting, which is very hard to do, does alleviate the bitterness and gets us on the road to healing. Thanks for this post!

Fay, I think I am a day late with this post but better late than never!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you felt up to doing a bit of celebrating! In my book, the day you were born is very special because that day produced YOU!!!!

Fay, this is great news. I can't imagine how relieved you must be to know they're both safe, after all this time of not knowing!

Lorrie, I'm so glad to hear that things are going well with Gary's treatment. Thanks for keeping us posted! I'm sending good thoughts your way and saying prayers for continuing great results!

Snowflake, I am so sorry I am late in sending you Happy Birthday greetings. I had October 4th marked on my calendar but have been so busy this week that I haven't had time to look at my calendar!! Anyway...I hope you had a wonderful birthday!

Like Deb, I have to admit that I am superstitious. I know it's silly but there are some things I would rather do a certain way and not press my luck. I don't freak when a black cat crosses my path but I do always think about it when it happens. I will go a few steps out of my way to avoid walking under a ladder. Hey, I guess that one was started by some poor soul that walked under a ladder and had it fall on him. I don't actually remember too many superstitions, although growing up in the south I always heard my family talk about them. Oh, I remember my grandmother used to be very firm about not telling a dream before breakfast or it would come true.

Val, I am so very sorry that you had such a bad experience. Thanks goodness for the one nice lady that approached you at the end. I really think you should go back and give it another try. This time, don't sit quietly. Make an opportunity to be heard, even if you have to raise your hand. Let them know that you're there for the same reason they are...because you lost someone you love. I had a similar experience after Dennis died. I went to one session of Hospice grief counseling, specifically for widows and widowers. Most of them were very much older than me and their problems were very different. I could see that I didn't fit in the group and never went back. Looking back, I wish I had given it another try. As for the debate over long term illness or sudden death...I have my opinions. Although I am sure it is hard to have your loved one walk out a door and never be seen alive again. But...they are spared the agonizing pain and suffering that long term patients often experience. I am glad I had the time I had with Dennis but if the pain he suffered could have been avoided by a sudden death, the sacrifice on my part would surely be worth it. Val, you are such a bright and strong young lady.

Are you superstitious? If so, what things are you superstitious about? Do you think twice before walking under a ladder? Would breaking a mirror make you worry about bad luck?

Pam, I am thinking of you!

Way to go Kasey! This is just the kind of news I needed today!

Larry, I have Road Runner and am not very happy with them right now. Thank goodness I have access to another server at work or you guys would rarely see me here. My service at home is so sporadic...you never know when you're going to be able to be online. Getting through to customer service is a real trip! My personal opinion is that they have taken on too many customers and have times of mega overload. Can that happen???

I'm of no help whatsoever when it comes to the medical terminology but I would like to welcome you back to the board and let you know that I will be saying prayers for you and your mom. Please let us know how she is doing.

Hi D. Welcome to our group. I know it's a tough place to be but you will find a lot of advice and support from the members. My husband had SCLC but his was extensive. When we first saw the oncologist he was told 3-6 months without any treatment. He had chemo and radiation and lived for 10 months after diagnosis. Please don't let this alarm you. Most everyone here will tell you to ignore statistics, as each patient is different. I would speak with your moms' oncologist right away and get the information you need. If she spends 90% of the time in bed and is in a lot of pain, I would think travel plans are not a good thing right now. My husband had mets to the spine and the pain was terrible for him. Have you thought of getting a second opinion for your mom? I hope you get all the answers you need. Please feel free to PM me if I can help.

Training Courses Now Available for Men ---------------------------------- 1. Introduction to Common Household Objects I: The Mop 2. Introduction to Common Household Objects II: The Sponge 3. Dressing Up: Beyond the Funeral and the Wedding 4. Refrigerator Forensics: Identifying and Removing the Dead 5. Design Pattern or Splatter Stain on the Linoleum? : You CAN Tell the Difference! 6. If It's Empty, You Can Throw It Away: Accepting Loss I 7. If the Milk Expired Three Weeks Ago, Keeping It In the Refrigerator Won't Bring It Back: Accepting Loss II 8. Going to the Supermarket: It's Not Just for Women Anymore! 9. Recycling Skills I: Boxes that the Electronics Came In 10. Recycling Skills II: Styrofoam that Came in the Boxes that the Electronics Came In 11. Bathroom Etiquette I: How to Remove Beard Clippings from the Sink 12. Bathroom Etiquette II: Let's Wash Those Towels! 13. Bathroom Etiquette III: Five Easy Ways to Tell When You're About to Run Out of Toilet Paper! 14. Giving Back to the Community: How to Donate 15-Year-Old Levis to the Goodwill 15. Retro? Or Just Hideous?: Re-examining Your 1970s Polyester Shirts 16. No, The Dishes Won't Wash Themselves: Knowing the 4 Limitations of Your Kitchenware 17. Romance: More Than a Cable Channel! 18. Strange But True!: She Really May NOT Care What "Fourth Down and Ten" Means 19. Going Out to Dinner: Beyond the Pizza Hut 20. Expand Your Entertainment Options: Renting Movies That Don't Fall Under the "Action/Adventure" Category or Selecting movies that don't star John Wayne on television 21. Accepting Your Limitations: Just Because You Have Power Tools Doesn't Mean You Can Fix It

I would have to say subs. I really like Firehouse Subs but since they're a little out of the way and gas is about $2.93 here, I would settle for Subway. My favorite sub would have to be a spicy Italian!

An easy one today... You're running late and there is no time to make dinner. What's your favorite fast food that you'll pick up?

Don, someone had recommended that book to me but unfortunately, I had forgotten the name. Thanks for jogging this old brain into gear. After I buy these books and read them, I donate them to our local Hospice House so others can benefit from them. Even though it's almost three years now since I lost Dennis (hard to believe) I still am helped by reading books on grief and coping.

Joyce...I am keeping you and Steve in my thoughts and prayers. You are a very atrong and brave woman. Thanks for sharing your message of hope with others at such a difficult pesonal time.

I have to say that I just love the name Molly for a little girl.

Jamie, it seems that some families have more than their fair share of burdens and Your family definitley qualifies. I'm a firm believer that surviving tough ordeals in life really make you stronger. I know that I'm a much stronger, and in may ways better, person after losing Dennis. I guess I had always depended on someone else and suddenly I realized that it was just me and God. You deserve a big ole hug (((((((((((((((((((JAMIE))))))))))))))) and lots of prayers! I'm sending both!

Such great news! Aren't the good days absolutely wonderful? I'm saying prayers that the good days remain!!!

Like others have said...kick down that door!

Sorry things are going so rough right now. I'm sending lots of hugs and prayers. By all means, please find a doctor that will treat your mom with the respect and dignity she deserves!

You're about to depart on a vacation you have dreamed about all of your life. Money is no object, as everything has been prepaid by an anoymous donor. Where is your destination and tell us about your trip!

Here's a big HEEHAW to go with your WAHOOO!!! Way to go Leslie!