Ann

My advice would definitely be to "throw the stats right out the window." Otherwise, you can go absolutely nuts reading all these numbers over and over. Each case is an individual case and each person responds differently to treatment. Please keep us posted on your results!

Donna....such great pictures! Thanks for sending all the smiles! I have two little doxies and then...like the soft-hearted nut I am, just got a Golden Retriever puppy. He's 13 weeks old now and is a beauty. His name is Tanner and his brother and sister are Molly and Harley. My house is so full of laughs just watching this little guy play! I'll have to post some pictures!!!

I know that little tree will grow to be one of the tallest and strongest trees in the park....just like or Dave was! I know how hard Saturday must have been for you, Becky. Please know how much your little brother meant to all of us and how very much his laughter and determination are missed!

Val, I know how hard this all is for you right now. This is such a lot of pain for a beautiful young woman to handle. Remember that your Mom is always going to be there for you. I remember losing my mom and having these same feelings. Finally, I came to realize that I had not "lost" my mother. Instead, she had become a part of me that lived inside my heart. As I grew older, this became even more beliveable, as I found myself saying and doing so many things just the way she would have done. I now feel like my mother is with me every day, offering me the love she always gave. You now have that lovely little Carolyn and you will become to her the strength that your mom was for you. I know you will miss your husband deeply but before you know it, your family will be reunited and life will be happy! I know that you will have a lot of voids to fill in your life. You know, I'll bet there are a lot of grandmothers in your area that rarely get to see their grandchildren. What a smile little Carolyn would bring to their faces! Maybe you should start a group, in memory of your Mom. This could be mothers, like yourself, that take their little ones to visit a lonely grandmother!

Sue, I know how long and frustrating weekends can be. It seemed as if we ever had problems with Dennis, it would either be after 5:00 in the afternoon or on weekends. The long waits in the Er were almost unbearable. I would get so uneasy seeing all the people around us coughing and sneezing. I could just imagine what Dennis was going to catch with his immune system so low at times. I started going right up to the window, explaining Dennis was a cancer patient and asking if we could sit somewhere else, as his immunity was very low. They would move us to the back in an area that was much more comfortable and it seemed the wait was shorter. Maybe worth trying????

Donna...I wish I could bottle up all of the smiles I get from my little doggies. I'd put a stopper in the bottle and send a new bottle off every day to someone who doesn't have a pet. I'm so glad you and your little guys had such a wonderful day. I really do wish we could have heard you sing!!!

Late reading this but very happy to hear such good news, Cindi!!!! Yaaaaaaaa-Hoooooooooo!!!!

Your friend came up with a great idea!!! You are very lucky to have such a good friend. Listening to all the Superman songs should be very motivational for Brian. It's good to focus on someone like Superman and pull some strength from that character. Dennis always watched the movie "Patton" during rough times and before chemo. Keeping you two in my prayers!!!

Our guys can be really "strong"...can't they? Apparently, going back to work is something that he needs to do...for Gary. I know how much you worry but you have to let him do some of these things that make him feel useful. I really do know what you're going through with this but you have to take a few deep breaths and give him a little space to make some of his own decisions. If he goes to work and then realizes he can't handle it, he will then be able to decide - on his own terms - that he isn't able to go back.

This must have been a terribly frightening experience for you. I hope the radiation takes care of the mets and there are no more seizures. Saying prayers for both of you!

Frank...How do you manage to keep these things coming???? Whatever it is...keep it up because your jokes really make my day!!!!

Too cute!!!!

Sandy...I can definitely answer this one. My Dennis, who also had sclc, was much like your Larry. He was very head strong and equally determined that he was going to beat the cancer. He never wanted to know any statistics. He never asked the doctor how much time he might have left. I did ask....but never shared the answer with Dennis, as he never wanted to know. I think hearing the doctor's words would have made this all too real for him and he wanted to live as if this wasn't happening. Like you, I accompanied Dennis on all of his appointments for treatment and tests. I stayed on my work schedule as much as possible. Dennis worked when he was able and life seemed to roll along pretty much as before. Dennis never allowed himself to think too much about death and certainly very few words were ever said about it. His temper flared easily from the frustration and some of the medication. In the early fall, Dennis begged his oncologist to allow him to go elk hunting in Colorado in November. Dennis died in mid December and never gave up his determination to beat the monster that had invaded his body. I know you want time with Larry and that's very important. But...if you try and change his mind about being independent, you may dampen his determination to fight. Is Larry able to talk freely with you about his condition? If so, let him know how you feel about spending quality time with him. Many men are neither able or willing to talk about the cancer. I hope this has been of some help. Please feel free to PM (Private Message) me at any time.

Good vibes being sent in your mom's direction!!!!

Addie...I'm sending ((((((((Addie)))))))))) your way. Like your hubby, I think a having a drink was appropriate! I have absolutely no first hand knowledge about PCI and mets but I know there are others here that will be able to help you with info. I just hope you will be able to talk to one of your regular doctors soon. I know that will make you feel much more at ease. In the meantime....thinking of you and sending lots of hugs and prayers!

Margaret...so very good to hear from you. I think of you so very often and wonder how you are doing. I don't want to tell you to not get this checked out but I can tell you that I had an almost identical problem. Like you, I didn't seem to have the problem when I was busy or preoccupied. When I was alone and quiet, it was almost as if I had to stop and remember how to swallow. I have to tell you that I thought I was losing my mind. I kept thinking it somehow had to do with the fact that I had so much trouble getting Dennis to swallow. Please get checked out, just to make sure everything is OK with you. I developed anxiety problems after Dennis died that I never had before. I am now severely claustrophobic. I had to have general anesthesia in order to just have an MRI. I never had problems with a dentist before and now, I have to have anti-anxiety meds before having a cleaning. I am fine until the chair goes back and then I feel as if I can't even breathe. Our minds can do really strange things to our bodies! Please keep in touch and let us know how things are going!!!!

HIP....HIP....HOORAY!!!!!!!

Curtis, it is so very good to hear from you. Wow...I just can't believe how fast Katie is growing up. My soon to be DIL is a kindergarten teacher, with 24 little ones in her class. They are hoping to find another teacher and divide up classes a little. This school already has 6 kindergarten classes. It just amazes me to watch her and see how quiet and calm she is with these dear little ones. I know that our dear Becky was there with Katie on her first day of school, holding her hand and assuring her. I know how hard each of these milestones must be for you, as they all bring back so many memories. I am so glad you are writing, as it is very therapeutic. I started journaling, in the form of letters, right after losing Dennis. I used to write a letter to him every day but now only write on the really rough days. I will definitely be reading your entries and I know they will touch my heart.

Peggy....I know just where you are right now and would love to be there to give you a hug and let you know that everything will be alright! My heart and thoughts have been with you.

Wait a minute, Lisa ! How could you possibly have found Cindi's MOJO where you are? I found it here in Florida this morning. It was lying, all stretched out, on a really nice section of beach. I immediately recognized it as belonging to our dead Cindi, so I struck up a conversation. CM (Cindi's MOJO) told me it was merely on vacation, soaking up some well needed sunshine. CM said it will be returning home to Cindi...probably as early as today! Oh...you wouldn't believe the thong that CM was wearing! Heads were turning all over the beach!!! Anyway...that's the scoop, Cindi. MOJO should be home soon and ready to take on the world, after all this R&R here in Florida!!! P.S. What time is the bar opening today? This has been one hell of a week for me and I'm ready for a tall drink with GinnyD

Tina....being an old Knoxville native myself, I can't believe I'm having a hard time figuring out where 90 miles south is....LOL. How are you handling having a daughter go off to college? I know it was hard for me when my oldest son left for school. I pray Charlie is able to make the trip. Wow...24 wonderful years??? The two of you must have something truly special going for you! Congratulations are definitely in order!!! Tina, please take care of yourself. I know how easy it is to forget about YOU when you are so worried about Charlie.

Welcome Kinderdo. I love the name! Is there a story that goes with it? I'm so sorry about Larry's diagnosis and sorry you have the need to be here with us. However, this is the very best place for you to find support right now. It's wonderful to have friends that know what you and Larry are going through right now. I will be keeping you and Larry in my thoughts and prayers and will be here if you need to talk!

Jen, Dennis had radiation for spinal mets and it was amazing what a good job it did of reducing his pain. I'm sure you will do very well with this treatment. Like you, I can't understand why the doc didn't know about the standing MRI. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang tough!!!

Darlene, I know this news has knocked you off your feet but hang on because there's lots of hope! This is the very best place to be for support and information. If you're like me, you may want to take those statistics and toss them right out the window, as each patient is different. If you let those statistics eat at you, you'll be absolutely nuts. As for the bio-dad...been there...done that. I was adopted as a tiny baby and didn't know my birth parents until I was 21 and expecting my first baby. It's a real adventure...sometimes good...sometimes not so good. I'm thinking of you and will be here if you ever need to talk!

Star, I will certainly say a prayer for both you and your brother. Be strong!!!