I am so sorry that your dear dad is ill and also sorry that you are so scared. This is the right place for you to be right now, as this board is a great source for information, comfort, support and lots of hugs and prayers. I can relate to your shock at the discovery of your dad's illness. I think that's the way it was for many of us. I know, in my case, that my husband was running his own business and was physically working about 14 hours a day. What we thought to be a merely a "bug" was diagnosed as small cell lung cancer with mets in the liver and spine. This news does indeed hit you like a speeding train....head on...with no warning it's approaching! Just take a little time to get your head together, gather information as needed and you'll be ready to be there for your dad and make it through this journey. I'm keeping you and your dad in my thoughts and prayers.