Ann

Way to go, Don!!!! Did you save any cake for us? Ummm...cybercake ...sounds absolutely wonderful!!!

So thankful for the following: 1. My three wonderful sons. 2. My great job 3. Friends that listen and offer advice 4. My extended LC family members 5. A new man in my life... that never tries to replace Dennis ...and offers so much love and support

Xena, I was so very touched by your post. I know how hard it was to see your father's health decline so quickly. It is so very hard to lose someone we love. As Don said, I know that your father would not want to see you so sad. He would want you to remember all of the happy times the two of you shared! When my mom died, I somehow felt that she had become a part of me and felt that she was living on...in my heart. I can tell from your post, that your father, does indeed, live in your heart. So, Xena, you really have your father with you every day. I once heard an interview with the singer Josh Groban. He very deeply loved his dear grandmother that had passed away. He said that she used to say to him ..."Whenever you think of me, I'll be alive." So, we can keep our loved ones alive in our hearts and minds every time we think of them. I know this hasn't been much help and I maybe made little sense, but your post just tugged at my heart strings and I had to reply! ((((((((Xena)))))))) and hoping you feel much better today!

Mary, I am so glad that your family was able to share some heartfelt smiles and happy memories of your Dad. Every good memory, regardless of how unimportant it may have seemed at the time, is a good thing to hold on to now. Yes, holidays and special occasions are definitely the pits. Some are harder to get through than others but time does help to make it less painful. You know, it's so funny how even the samllest memories can come back so strong after losing someone. This year, Dennis and I would have celebrated our 27th wedding anniversary. Just a few nights ago, while on the treadmill, listening to music, the song "You Had Me From Hello" played. Almost immediately, an image of Dennis's cute smile flashed into my head. As I listened to the words, I realized they were completely fitting for the first time I met him. I replayed the entire meeting back in my mind and now do so every time I hear the song. Now, I don't cry when I think of this but instead I smile, realizing how very lucky I was to have been in love with this wonderful man for so many years....but not long enough! Wishing you many happy memories!!!

Like others, I had a really good experience with Hospice. Dennis was well cared for physically and the other members of our family recieved much care and concern in other areas. It's really great to have their assistance.

Kim, I am so proud of you!!! It sounds like you have a wonderful attitude regarding your father's happiness! You're a wonderful daughter! As for Nicholas...I don't have a lot to offer in the way of advice. I have a friend you recently lost her husband. Her son is a little older than Nicholas and is an only child. He was very close to his dad and since his death has been a real "problem child." His behaviour is bad at home and at school. Connie has really had her hands full. She had been trying to use the "gentle" approach and keep him very sheltered from real life. He had experienced many of the same fears that Nicholas has had and had asked many of the same questions. Connie finally explained a lot about death to him and let him know that her health is very good. Kim, sometimes these little folks understand a lot more than we give them credit for. This is a very tough situation to handle but I know you have the love and understanding to make this situation alright. If you feel you need help, have someone professional talk to him or give you some pointers. Death is a very hard issue for any of us to deal with and I can only imagine the fear and insecurity it must instill in a child. I'm saying prayers for you and Nicholas!

Great news!!!! This is a cause for celebration!!!!

Thanks Ry...you're the cat's pajamas!!!!

Looks interesting but I have no clue what this is about!!! Can you please do a brief summary for us??? I know it must be good information!

Lori....please don't allow your brother to push you into any decision that you're not ready to make. There are always alternative solutions to problems and you have to be strong and keep a clear head so that you can make them. After the death of my grandfather, my mother and her brother were in a very similar situation. Her brother was 10 years younger than my mother and had always been "babied" by everyone...including my mom. My mother loved him so much! My grandfathers farm was left 50/50 to each of them. Her brother pitched a temper tantrum and threatened to move far away if she didn't sell him her half of the farm. She caved in and was miserable until her death that she had done so. Their relationship did not improve at all after she caved in. In fact, the relationship became even more strained as years passed. If you wnat to keep this house...stand strong. You have the legal system on your side and cannot be made to sell to your brother! If there is already a rocky relationship betwen the two of you, selling to him will not make things better. This house is what your parents worked for! Don't give it up unless you it is 100% what you want!!! JUST SAY NO!!!!

Kim, my views on this subject may be a little different but...here goes. I can fully understand yur concern and feelings of betrayal. I experienced this with my three sons when I met someone and started dating. In my case, the problem was one thing...the new man in my life was NOT their dad. Like your mom, Dennis had stated that he wanted me to go on with my life. It took a long time for me to get to that point but I have found that life is better when it is shared with someone. I can understand your protective feelings regarding your father. You probably feel he is very vulernable right now, which he probably is. What you need to remember is this. Just because your father decides to see someone does not make him love your mother any less. It helps to fill a void in his life and give him companionship. This lady may not be the perfect person for your father and it is very good for you to lookout for him. Just remember that your father is probably very lonely after losing your mother. He needs your love and support, now more than ever. If he does find someone thatbhe wants to spend time with, be supportive. By doing this, you are not betraying your mother. I know this is a very tough issue for you to deal with but I know you are a wonderful and understanding young woman!!!

Mirrell, it is so very good to hear from you again. Like you, I am one of the ones that need to stay in touch with this wonderful family, as it is just one more way for me to keep my dear Dennis's memory alive. I also know that I have an unlimited amount of love and support from members of this family. They are here to lift me up when I am down and ready to help me celebrate when something good happens. Losing a member of this family does indeed cause pain and open wounds. As Don said, it is up to the individual to make the decision to stay or go away for a while. I'm so glad you've decided to come back!!! You're such an important part of this family!

Pam, I am so sorry to read of Ruby's passing. I pray that you will find comfort in knowing her pain is ceased and she is happy and pain free once again!

Kim, I will definitely add Brooke to my prayer list. It is so sad to see people have such struggles when their lives are just getting up and off the ground!

Katie, this is just a precious picture!!! I'm so sorry to be late with my best wishes for a Happy Anniversary!!!

What a wonderful picture! Thanks so much for sharing your smiles with us!!!

Fay...I loudly echo Ginny's post!!! I think this person was very out of line!!!

Peggy, so sorry you are having this "anxious" time. Maybe things will sound much better after you have a chance to actually speak to the doctor. Often, reading these results is worse than it seems. I'm praying this is the case!!! I had to smile when I read the part about him not wanting to hear anything about it. Boy...does this sound familar!!!! I'm saying prayers and crossing fingers...and toes!!!!

Karen...just wanted to chime in and say that I am all too familar with grieving in advance. I really felt like I lost Dennis months before he died. The man that I had known and loved for over 25 years had been gone for some time before his last breath. I probably began the grieving process when the doctor told us....nonoperable....noncurable....but maybe with treatment we can buy a little time. At that point, I began preparing myself for what was to come and how I would survive alone. I never once let Dennis know that these thoughts were in my mind. I managed to stay optomistic and cheery in his presence. When I was out of his sight, the grieving would really take hold. People were amazed how well I held up after his death. A counselor helped me understand about the grieving process and it was then I realized that, in my mind, I had been preparing for his death for a long time.

Maryanne, I am so grateful that you shared Caryl's news about our dear Cathy. I am keeping Cathy and her family in my thoughts and prayers.

Val, I am so sorry you are having such a rough time of things right now. You're such a great, dedicated daughter and your mom is so very lucky to have you in her life! It sounds like you're definitely a perfectionist...always wanting to get things exactly right! Well, hun, now is the time to let part of those feelings fly right out the window. Do what you can to please your mom and I know she will be thrilled. Mom's have a way of always thinking things their children do for them are perfect anyway. She may not feel like showing that right now but I'm sure everything you are doing for her is completely wonderful. As for the company...ask for help. Often people want to help but just are not sure what to do. There comes a time (and it sounds like you're there) that you have to realize you can't handle everything alone. You have a really full plate right now, so don't think any less of yourself if you have to ask for help. As for Carolyn...she's such a precious blessing! I would love to baby sit that little darling!!! Think I can do that via the internet???? I'm saying lots of prayers for you and your mom!!!!

Karen, it is so very good to hear from you! I can't imagine how you are handling everything that you are doing at one time! Moving alone is a tremendous task, one that I absolutely hate. Then, to have all these other things to deal with at the same time...you are one strong lady!!! It sounds like Dave and Dennis had a lot in common as far as belongings go. I still have a storage unit filled with tools, camping and hunting items and anything else you might imagine. My sons are getting together in a couple of weekends and deciding who wants what and then I'm either selling or giving away the rest! I know exactly how you feel about being glad Dave is no longer in pain. Dennis was in such terrible pain that the doctors seemed to do little to control. I was relieved that the suffering ended for him. Please keep in touch with us, as we think of you so very often. I am so glad you have friends to help you through this.

Thanks for the update!!! Cindi...Banished...No Way!!!! Wow...we need her up and running by Happy Hour!!! But...sounds like you would be a great stand-in baartender if things don't get straightened out for her!!!

Denise, it sounds like things may be better than you thought, which is wonderful. So glad to hear your Dad is OK. My FIL has been going through something similar to your aunt. The doctors thought they would find pamcreatic cancer but could find no evidence. They have settled on pancreatitis. He has had so much trouble keeping anything on his stomach that a feeding tube has been inserted and his diet consists of Ensure. He is down to 123 pounds but the doctors are hopeful that weight will return as his pancreas heals. All cysts are not cancerous. I'm hoping things improve for your aunt!!!

So glad you are getting a second opinion. I have heard many excellent things about the City of Hope. Please know we are thinking of you and continuing prayers for you and your brother.