Ann

Glad to hear you're hanging in here with us, Margaret. It seems all of the legal issues are rolling very smoothly for you, thank goodness! Yep...you have to love that Ambien. I used to feel better just to know I could take a little pill and sleep the night away. Heck, half a pill was fine for me. A whole one used to really knock me on my butt really fast. I really enjoyed reading about some of your memorial ideas. Really creative thinking and planning on your part. Dennis was also cremated and I still have his ashes with me, two years down the road. We talk a lot about scattering them but for now, I am comforted knowing they are here with me. I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep in touch!!!

Dave...so glad to hear you're feeling better. Glad to know the meds are helping you to tolerate the pain! I'm also glad to see that the fingers are working fine and you're posting today! I'm keeping you and the Chapman gang in my prayers. Hang in there....we all know how tough you are!!! And....yes...we all already know Karen is an angel!!!!!

What a beautiful tribute for a wonderful man. Thanks so much for sharing this with all of us.

I am so sorry to hear it was such a very long and very tough night for all of you! Karen, I can feel your pain with all of this, as Dennis was in terrible pain from bone mets and I felt so helpless. One trick to remember when at the ER that may help you out. I would always explain that Dennis was receiving chemo and that his immune system was very low. I would tell them I was scared to death that he would catch something while waiting and they would always accomodate us. If they were swamped, they would just put us in a more private area that was more comfortable. I'm keeping you guys in my prayers. I know how tough this is for all of you right now! Thanks goodness you have such a wonderful family support system!

Good luck with the new music and meds!!! Has a great ring to it!!! Now, ladies and gentlemen....for your listening pleasure....an evening with Fay's Music and Meds!!! Almost sounds soothing...lol!!!

Karen, my prayers are with all of you there! I do know the Topetecan was really harsh on Dennis. The Camptosar and CPT-11 were a walk in the park for him compared to the Topetecan. He had a really hard time with sodium levels and we had a couple of ER visits because of severe cramping/drawing of his hands. After he really started chugging the water big time, things seemed to get a little easier! Hang in there guys, we're all cheering you on!!!

Karen...my pastor once told me that in order to get a miracle one has to truly believe it can and will happen! We all believe that this miracle can and will happen for you and David!!!

How very sweet, Curtis!!! I know how wonderful it is having Katie to help you through all this. My youngest son (25 years old) is the spitting image of Dennis. They're the same height, same brown eyes, same smile and oh how alike those expressions are. I find myself sometimes just staring at him while the memories roll. Dennis was 25 when we met, so Chris looks almost identical to the way his dad looked when we met! They have almost idnetical personalities, also. This helps me get through it all and somehow seems to remind me that we do live on! I'm so glad you have your two angels by your side...Becky and Katie!!!

So glad you're back with us....even if it is at a slower speed...lol!!! Congrats on your new home! May you make many beautiful memories there!!!

Great news is so wonderful to hear! Thanks for letting us know. I'm sure you're having a ball cooking and helping put that weight back on him!!!!

My dear Margaret...what an accurate and touching dose of reality. I am still "in the strange" two years later. Life has gone on and many things are now more of a memory than a reality, but life as I now know it is very strange and very different. Two years ago, I hated the night. I hated going to bed, as the darkness brought the reality of being alone in a big empty bed. Now, many things in my life have changed. But...I now look forward to the night, as it brings sleep. Now, sleep often brings dreams and I live for these dreams. Sometimes these freams of Dennis are very clear and I remember them vividly when I awake in the morning. Then there are mornings that I know I have dreamed but have no memory what the dream was about but had the feeling that Dennis was with me. Reading your words brought back such a rush of memories of things I said, did and fe3lt in the days after Dennis died. Cooking was a big thing for me. It seemed like it had been forever since I had cooked. I found myself cooking meals and taking them to my neighbors for dinner. Anything that would fill time. Like Ginny said, we are all sisters of this sorority. It is a group that none of wish to be a member of but for some reason God chose to initiate us into this sorority. I pray for each of us daily and am confident that God will give us the strength and peace to continue on!!!

Thanks for sharing this, Lil. I really enjoyed this.

Katie, thanks so much for updating us. We are such a close knit little family and it's so hard to lose touch with our members. Has anyone heard from Keith and Carleen?

Amy, I am so sorry to hear that you have been feeling so very ucky!!! I hope things are looking up for you really soon. That drink sounds really interesting. Wanna share your recipe????

What a wonderful idea!!! I have four cats and two little dachshunds. If anyone else would like to have a cyber pet, I am more than willing to share. Also, I think the name Luna is just wonderful!

One wonderful thing about having Hospice with us during Dennis's final days was the understanding of the dying process that they shared with our family. There are many stories like yours that our loved ones share with us. In the days preceding Dennis's death, I was able to gain so much insight into things he was seeing and hearing. Our Hospice nurses let us know that we should really listen and pay attention to things Dennis was saying and doing. I even wrote down some of the things he said so I would not forget.

I am so very sorry to hear of Bob's passing. I will be keeping his family and dear friends in my prayers. Thank God there is no more pain for him!

I was a caregiver and I can definitely relate to what your husband is going through right now. Caregivers have to be a "rock" and sometimes we're not cut out to be that strong. Although we appear to be able to handle everything, we are often falling completely apart on the inside. We're terrified to imagine life without our loved one so we fight like hell to keep them alive and to take as much worry as possible off their shoulders. There are times that we become so tense and worried that it takes only the slightest thing to set us off. Maybe your husband needs someone to talk to that has been through this maze. Remember, he has to be strong for you so maybe he can't open up and discuss his innermost fears with you. Everyone, even men, need to talk through this and let it go. It's often hard for men, as they have been taught that men are strong and can handle everything.....NOT SO!!!!

Nancy, just hang in there and keep your boxing gloves on!!! I'll be saying a prayer for you!

Becky, thanks so much for posting this. This will really give me something to think about.

Isn't it just wild how often friends and acquaintences can be more understanding and helpful than family? Fortunately, I have some really close friends and if oush came to shove I know they would help me out long before my family would. Just hang in there and stand your ground with her. Just try and salvage the insurance!!! Hope things get better really soon!

Thanks for this post. I read many books after losing Dennis and founf them to be a great help. Reading was very hard for me at first, as I just couldn't seem to have the ability to focus on anything. After a couple of months, I was able to settle down and find comfort from reading books about the grief of losing a loved one. You know, I still have several books. Maybe we could list the books we have and share them with others on the board. We could pass them around. Wow...talk about a mobile library!!!

You go girl!!!!!

Stay safe California friends!!! It's really dry here in Florida right now. We sem to either have fires or hurricanes! Not sure which scares me the most!

Oh Karen, I am praying that your family will receive a miracle!