Ann

I also like the speaker phone idea. I know that my Dennis just didn't want to talk or visit a lot during treatment. Even when our boys were around, he was very quiet. At times, he even had very little to say to me but then there were other times that he loved to talk. I think there is just so very much going on in the patients mind that it's hard for them to focus at times. If I were you, I would continue the phone calls as often as you feel you need to call....for your peace of mind. Also, I know there are things you feel you need to say to your mom right now. My boys often talk about things they wish they had said to their dad. It is very important to say these things to make yourself at peace. There are more ways of communicating that talking. How about a weekly journal for your mom? Just keep a pad handy and when you think of something you want (or need) to say, jot it down. When you have several thoughts collected, drop them in the mail. Mothers cherish mail from their children and love to read letters and cards over and over. Maybe your mom is afraid she'll break down when talking to you. Moms feel they have to be brave and care for their children, regardless of how old they are. Maybe it's hard for her to talk to you for fear of breaking down. If she reads your words, she would have the privacy to really "feel" your words in private! I know this is a tough thing for you to deal with!!! I'm keeping you and your mom in my prayers!

This is truly a beautiful passage. Don, I think that this is most appropriate for you and your dear wife!!!

What beautiful and comforting words. Thanks for sharing!

So glad to hear you guys are back with us. Althought it sounds like things haven't been great with you....it definitely sounds like they're getting better! You have both been missed!!!!

David and Karen....I always keep you and your beautiful little family in my prayers and will continue!!! David, you know that you have to fight this! You know how very important your attitude is right now. Mind over body!!! You're tough and have been there as a wonderful example for all of us! Just pick yourself up and get ready for yet another fight!!! We're here for both you and Karen...just a yell away!!!

I don't have any info about brain mets but Dennis did have mets to the lower spine. Our doctor thought the chemo would help the spinal mets but it did not. We finally had radiation for the mets to the spine. That treatment seemed to reduce the pain level.

Kel, I am remembering both you and your mom in my prayers. I'm in central Florida and I can tell you that we're having some beautiful weather right now. This time of the year (especially March) seems to always be especially beautiful here. Please keep us updated on your mom's progress!

I know what these long, sleepless nights can be like. One sleepless night can seem like an eternity. I had to take meds for a while to fall asleep. Now, I am finally getting back into my normal sleep patterns. Just after Dennis's death, I would always leave the television on. Some say that is not a good thing to do but sometimes it would work for me. I think the quietness was one thing that really bothered me, after having him beside me for 26 years of nights! Hope you find something that helsp for you!

Dani, I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. I will be remembering you and your family in my prayers.

Donna, thanks so much for sharing this!!! It's beautiful!

Prayers on their way for you and David right now!!!

I have always enjoyed watching Food Network and Dennis really liked it when he was getting treatment. There were many days I would actually cook something from one of the shows that he thought sounded great. But...he would take a few bites and change his mind. I think it was because of his lack of appetite and not my cooking...lol! I used to be a really big Emeril fan and still enjoy him at times. Now, I am a great fan of Paula Deen from Savannah. She's this down home southern gal with a great sense of humor and an appetite to match. There's nothing that makes less sense that a skinny cook and Paula's not skinny!

Lisa, I'm keeping you in my thoughts today. Special days can be really rough on us! Try and do something special for yourself and your daughter today...in memory of your mom! I have started a tradition that I do on special dates for me and Dennis. I simply go outside at night, light a candle and remember our love and what a very special person I had the privilige of sharing my life with!!!

Lil, I will certainly add her to my prayer list. It seems that some families have such terrible times and Johnny's family seems to be one of them! Hang in there, girlfriend!!!!

Looks like you're making a lot of progress thee Becky! The house is going to be beautiful! Keep us posted!!!

Way to go Becky!!!! Keep it up!!!!!

Wow, what great information. Thanks so very much for sharing this with us. I do know that Jake spent a lot of time just staring into space, something he had never done before!

Lots of prayers for your Mom, Heidi!!!!

Way to go, Peggy! You are certainly a great example for all of us. I love reading all your posts!!! Keep it up!!!! YEAH PEGGY!!!!

I know you must be a bundle of nerves with all this waiting. Often, it seems to be this not knowing that's the really hard thing to deal with. I am praying for both of you and keeping my fingers crossed for great results when the next tests are done!!! Hang in there...if only by a thread!!!

Hope you're feeling better really soon, Rick. I know Katie will give you lots of TLC!!!!

Ginny, this is so beautiful and holds so very much truth! I think we can always find something good out of the very worst situation. I automatically compared the cracked pot to some people I know. I have a friend who is very judgemental, especially where people are concerned. I printed this little story out and gave it to her. I feel that there are many people, although flawed by most standards, that have so very many beautiful things to offer.

Wow, lots of changes at one time...big changes! I know it will be very hard for you to leave the house that Earl built and the two of you shared such happy memories in. Hopefully, the move will begin a a new chapter in your life. That's what life is all about, changes and new beginnings. I pray that this move will be smooth for you!!! Ginny, Earl will go with you and remain in your heart wherever you go. And...I agree about the Super Bowl. I was really pulling for the Eagles!

Margaret, I am so very saddened to hear of your dear Jim's passing. Pleae take care of yourself and remember that we all are thinking of you and sending prayers for strength and peace your way!!!

Just four months before Dennis was diagnosed, we adopted a 5 week old kitten named Jake. Jake was your normal, run of the mill, playful baby until Dennis became ill. Suddenly, Jake would spend every minute with Dennis. He would sit in his recliner with him and make little dough balls on his chest. He would then lie his head as close to Dennis's face as possible and never move. When Dennis became bedridden, it was impossible to keep Jake out of the hospital bed. We would have to lock him out of the room when the nurse was here to care for Dennis. On the morning that Dennis died, poor Jake stood outside the bedroom door, looking in, and actually howled. I had never heard such an expression of pain or grief from a cat. He would not enter the room but just stood on the threshold crying. For months, he was very distant with me. He would tolerate me, as he knew I fed him but he would never cozy up to me as my other cats do. Then one day, out of the blue, Jake jumped on the couch with me. Since then, he has been my constant companion. He is as close to me now as he was with Dennis. It's a little scary, as I wonder if something is going on with my health that Jake knows and I don't. It took him almost two years after Dennis died to get to this point. To beat it all, he was my kitten....a birthday present from Dennis.