Ann

Love it......

A MAN WHO KNOWS HIS MATH He writes: I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out is window and gave the woman the finger. 'Man, that guy is stupid,' I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed. Give her the finger? I don't think so!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Beautiful morning here in Palm Bay, Florida. It's just one of those " I wanna stay home and do spring cleaning" days. I have no idea why and how this spring "bug" manages to bite me each and every single year but it does. I want to go out and buy plants....tons of plants...and just fill my yard with flowers! Of course, it hasn't rained in Florida for so long, we can't even water our grass anymore, so plants would die faster than normal at my house this year! Anyone else have spring fever? What does it make you want to do???

Beware Of The Friday 13th Virus It will recalibrate your refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit cards, screw up the tracking on your television and use subspace field harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play. It will give your ex-girlfriend your new phone number. It will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your beer and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when company comes over. It will put a dead aardvark in the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car keys when you are late for work. Friday 13th Virus will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while dating your girlfriend behind your back and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Discover card. It moves your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. It will leave libidinous messages on your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. Friday 13th Virus will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the toilet seat up. It will leave bacon cooking on the stove while it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new snowblower. Friday 13th Virus will cause your cakes to fall and your blood pressure to rise. It will increase the ability of your radio to pick up reactionary talk stations at the expense of others. It prevents scurvy, but it gives you mega garlic breath as it does so, which makes the net results negative. It cheats at Scrabble. It can forge your signature. It plays the bagpipes in your basement. It shaves over your bathroom sink and then leaves the hair to clog your drain. It does bad celebrity impersonations in front of your friends.

Come on....tell us....tell us truthfully..... It's Friday the 13th. What superstitions do you have...especially about today. Do you believe today is a "holiday" for the same people that like to "howl at the moon" ? Are your days just crazy on Friday the 13th???? Tell us....please tell us....We're all going nuts waiting to hear!!!

Yeah Becky Snowflake !!! I like your answer. Randy...it's all about being SUPERMAN and having confidence and faith!!! Come on....SUPERMAN would never duck! He'd just stand there...chest out....arms crossed...and wait for it to hit!!! At one time, BC (before cancer), I would have ducked but now, I can tackle most anything, so bring it on!!!

If you were Superman and someone threw a sixteen-ton weight at you, would you duck or just let it bounce off?

(((Sue)))) So sorry I missed your post yesterday. I know how you feel...yesterday, today and most days and yes...I do "get it." I hope you were able to recall many memories of happy days yesterday!!!

Anyone have any early picks for this season's winners? I watched last night but have to admit that some couples were just to painfully bad to watch. I had DVR'd the show, so I fast forwarded through all the really bad parts.

Muriel.... I'm sure we're not the only two that watches Brothers & Sisters. I'm sure that GinnyD is also a fan of the show. I think it's one of those shows that allow us to just kick back with our pj's on and enjoy it, without having to do too much heavy duty thinking. I find myself looking more forward to watching each week. TV will really be boring in the off season.

I think all of the clocks in my house are changed but I haven't changed the one in the car yet. Changing the clock in my car is equivalent to flying the space shuttle.

Did you hear about the Octo-Mom breakfast special? 8 eggs, no sausage and the person sitting next to you has to pay for it! Sorry...just couldn't not post this one!!!!

Have you changed all your clocks for the time change yet?

Wanted to share this with you. If any of you ride bikes, this might be something you could organize in your area. SUNDAY 3/15/2009 COCOA: 1st annual CCKMA (CANCER CAN KISS MY *ss) poker RUN. All starts at KAY'S BBQ located on SR520 west of Coca. About 95 miles ending at Maui's. The money raised will go to the American Cancer Society. $10.00 per hand. 1st bike out @ 10:00Am last out @ 11:00AM last in @ 5:00PM.

Anyone else watch Brothers & Sisters last night??? I really like this show. Not too many things happened last night that I wasn't expecting but I still enjoyed it. I have to say that Rob Lowe did a terrible job of pretending to cry after telling his children that he had a heart attack. It looks like Ryan is going to be a real trouble maker for the walker clan.

I would be a powdered sugar bavarian creme filled doughnut...plain and simple on the outside but filled with lots of nice things on the inside.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TINA!!!!!

I am so sad to hear of Carole's passing. Her posts on The Path Less Traveled forum were always such an inspiration for me. I have always truly admired her courage and positive attitude. Carole, you will be missed!!!

If you were a doughnut, what kind would you be? Why that kind???

I would go in a heartbeat!!! Just think of the things you could find out about this great universe of ours. I wouldn't even worry about the experiments. Hey...with the advanced technology that we have been led to believe aliens have maybe they know about instant weight loss and removing wrinkles. Who knows....maybe they could transform me back to looking like a 20 year old???? Plus....I would love the excitement!!!

I just wanted to let you all know that our group voted to go full force ahead with this project and I'm so excited about it!!! If you continue to get any ideas about helpful little things that could go in these bags, please let me know.

Would you agree to be abducted by aliens and undergo experimentation if they promised you could take the saucer for a spin anywhere you wanted and that you'd be home in time for dinner?

Love it, Randy!!!!

I would love to take a pinch of Charlie Sheen's bottom 'cause I think he's so cute and Richard Gere could grab my butt anytime....regardless of what they say about him!!!