Ann

Which celebrity's butt would you most like to squeeze? Which celebrity would you most like to squeeze your butt?

1. If you’ve got melted chocolate on your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. 2. Chocolate covered raisins, apricots, and strawberries all count as fruit so eat as much as you want. 3. Problem: How to get 2lbs of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. Solution: eat it all in the parking lot 4. Eat a chocolate bar before each meal, it takes the edge off your appetite and you’ll eat less. 5. If you can’t eat all of your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. However, if you can’t eat all of your chocolate, there might be something wrong with you. Call your Doctor. 6. If you eat an equal amount of dark and light chocolate, it’s considered a balanced meal. 7. Exercise is a dirty word. Every time you say it, wash your mouth out with chocolate. 8. If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated, so eat more. 9. Put “Eat Chocolate” at the top of your To Do List” today. At least you’ll get one thing done. 10. For convenience, a box of chocolate can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. The Rules of Chocolate! 1. If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. 2. Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. 3. The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot. 4. Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. 5. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? 6. If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? 7. If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. 8. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other? 9. Money talks. Chocolate sings. 10. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. 11. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Ans: Because no one wants to quit. 12. Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done. Top Ten Reasons Chocolate is the World's Most Perfect Food 10. Chocolate contains tryptophan, a chemical in the brain that is used to produce the neurotransmitter, serotonin. High levels of serotonin stimulate the secretion of endorphins, and produce feelings of elation. Serotonin is found in the antidepressant Prozac, and the designer drug “ecstasy” produces its effects by increasing serotonin levels in the brain. So… antidepressants, illegal drugs, or a Hershey’s bar. You pick. 9. Chocolate also contains a chemical called phenylethylamine. High levels of this neurotransmitter help promote feelings of attraction, excitement, and giddiness. Phenylethylamine works by stimulating the brain's pleasure centers and reaches peak levels during orgasm. Guys, THIS is why you should always give a girl chocolates on a first date. Can’t hurt, right? 8. Chocolate might help fight heart disease. Chocolate contains chemicals called flavinoids, which thin the blood, helping to prevent clotting. All these wonderful pleasurable feelings, and good for your heart too? Man… this just gets better and better. 7. Chocolate is structurally sound. The World’s Tallest Chocolate Structure was unveiled in October 2006 at NYC’s FAO Schwarz. It was over 20 feet tall, and made of 2285 pounds of chocolate. Try doing that with a potato chip, you salty-snack fans! 6. A chocolate craving during pregnancy may indicate mild anemia. Call it an early warning system. Chocolate contains iron, and this may be the pregnant body’s way of signaling that iron levels are low. So eat that chocolate bar! It’s for the good of the baby. 5. Chocolate contains magnesium, which is known to ease symptoms of PMS. Calcium does too, which of course can be found in milk. So, if your girlfriend, or wife, or woman-in-your-life-that-you-are-close-enough-to-that-you-are-even-aware-of-such-things is having a bad time of it, bring her a piece of chocolate cake and a big glass of milk. Not only will she think you’re a sweetheart, but maybe her mood will improve enough that she’ll relinquish the remote and let you turn off Lifetime and watch the game. 4. Chocolate contains sugar and caffeine. Um, what else is there to say? Told you… Perfect. 3. Chocolate may help people live longer. In a Harvard University study conducted in 1999, researchers tracked 8,000 men and found those who ate chocolate lived almost a year longer than those who didn't. Although scientists don't know why the men lived longer, they speculate it has to do with the antioxidants found in chocolate. I speculate that it’s because these same men had enough chocolate around their house that they had no shortage of woman willing to come around and cook them healthy meals and clean their bathroom once in a while. But that’s just a theory. 2. Chocolate is a viable alternative energy source. Researchers at the UK’s University of Birmingham fed Escherichia coli bacteria a feast of waste caramel and nougat from a chocolate candy bar. The bacteria subsequently burped out hydrogen gas, which was harnessed via a fuel cell to power an electric fan. Holy cocoa, Robin! The world’s energy needs can be met with stale Snickers bars! Someone call Al Gore. He’s going to be just tickled. And the Top Scientific Reason that Chocolate is the World’s Most Perfect Food… 1. Cocoa butter melts at 97°F. That’s right, just below body temperature. So it actually does melt in your mouth. That also means if you put a Hershey’s Kiss on your sweetie’s stomach, it will slowly melt into a little pool of chocolate. Uh oh... you’d better clean that up. And who knows where things will go from there… 10 Amazing Facts about Chocolate Chocolate is made from beans derived from the cacao tree. These beans are very bitter, so the cocoa solids and the cocoa butter has sugar added to it, along with some other ingredients in order to make the chocolate that is available to the general public.Chocolate is particularly popular at certain times of the year, such as Easter, Valentines Day and Christmas. As such, chocolate shaped gifts are popular. Hearts for Valentines day and cute bunnies at Easter are two high up on the gift selection list. Here are 10 interesting facts about chocolate: 1. Chocolate is lower in caffeine than tea, coffee and coca cola. A one ounce bar of chocolate contains about 6mg of caffeine, whereas a five ounce cup of regular coffee contains over 40mg. 2. Chocolate was regarded as an aphrodisiac by Aztec Indians. 3. Chocolate contains antioxidants which may help prevent cancer and heart disease. 4. Chocolate is the favourite flavour in the United States Of America. 5. The shelf life of a bar of chocolate is approximately one year. 6. In 1842 Cadbury's in England created the worlds first chocolate bar. 7. The Swiss eat the most chocolate. The average person eats 19lbs a year. 8. Chocolate contain theobromine, which is a mild relative of caffeine and magnesium. his chemical is found in some tranquilisers. Because coffee also contains caffeine, it both picks you up and calms you down. 9. It is widely believed that chocolate consumption releases a chemical into your body very similar to what is produced when you are in love. 10. Chocolate manufacturers use 20% of the worlds peanuts and 40% of the worlds almonds. Chocolate is mildly addictive, but a bar now and again is not going to hurt. With all those great antioxidants it contains, it may even help you live longer. After all, as the saying goes, “A little of what you fancy does you good”. Article by Richard Davies of http://www.chocolateorg.com covering a wide variety of information on chocolate. http://ezinearticles.com/?10-Amazing-Fa ... &id=201878 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Facts about Chocolate 1. Chocolate is one of the most popular foods around and is highly unlikely to ever go out of fashion. 2. The word 'Chocolate' comes from the Aztec word, 'cacahuatl' or ‘xocolatl’. This means 'bitter water'. 3. Chocolate is derived from Cocoa Beans. It was Cacao originally, but became Cocoa as a result of misspelling. 4. Cocoa Trees require warm, moist climates and are largely found in West Africa - Ghana, the Ivory Coast and Nigeria. The scientific term for the Cocoa Tree is 'Theobroma Cacao'. This is the Greek term for 'Food for the Gods'. 5. Cocoa Trees produce pods and each pod contains about 20 to 50 Cocoa Beans. There are different varieties of Cocoa Beans with different flavors, and, just like different grapes are used to make different wines, different Cocoa Beans are used to make different kinds of Chocolates. Cocoa Beans are fermented, dried, roasted, and ground before being used to produce chocolate. 6. The Mayans and Aztecs believed that the Cocoa Beans originated from Paradise and would bring wisdom and power to anyone consuming them. 7. The Aztecs mixed Chocolate with Chilies, Cornmeal, and Hallucinogenic Mushroom. It was a bitter brew! 8. The precious Cocoa Beans were used as a currency and as a unit of calculation in the Mayan and Aztec Cultures. 9. Emperor Montezuma of Mexico partook a Chocolate drink before entering his harem. This gave rise to the notion of Chocolate having aphrodisiac properties. The Italian adventurer Giacomo Casanova was another fellow who subscribed to this notion. There is some truth to the idea though, since Chocolate contains hundreds of chemicals including the feel-good stimulants - Caffeine, Theobromine, and Phenyethylamine. 10. However the amount of Caffeine in Chocolate is very little - about 5 to 10 milligrams of caffeine in one ounce of bittersweet chocolate, 5 milligrams in milk chocolate, and 10 milligrams in a six-ounce cup of cocoa. Compare this to 100-150 milligrams found in a cup of coffee. 11. Theobromine helps boost low blood-sugar levels and another chemical, Chromium, helps to control blood sugar. 12. Theobromine, however, is highly toxic to dogs, cats, and other household pets. It overstimulates their cardiac and nervous systems, and can cause instant death. 13. For humans though, Chocolate is a wonderful energy source. Napoleon supposedly carried along Chocolate on his military campaigns, and always ate it to restore energy. Nowadays Sports-persons are often given Chocolate energy bars after sporting activities to restore carbohydrates. 14. Even though Chocolate is high in fat, it does not appear to raise blood cholesterol. 15. Despite the popular, lingering myth, Chocolate does not cause acne. Acne is usually due to an improper diet or a hormone imbalance. 16. Also, contrary to another popular myth, Chocolates are not responsible for causing headaches. Headaches, again, have different reasons - stress, hunger, irregular sleep patterns, and hormone changes. 17. Allergies to chocolate are very uncommon. 17. Cocoa butter, which is the fat extract from roasted and crushed Cocoa Beans, is often used as a massage cream. 18. It is also used to make White, Caffeine-less Chocolate. 19. Cocoa Beans were first brought to Europe by the Spanish Conquistadors in 1528. 20. Chocolate soon became very popular and was taken as a sweet drink with sugar and vanilla. 21. Henri Nestle of Switzerland was the first to create Milk Chocolate by adding condensed milk to the mixture when making chocolate bars. 22. Rudolphe Lindt of Switzerland in 1879 was the first to develop a method to give Chocolate a smooth consistency. 23. Chocolate has over 500 flavor components. This is double the amount found in strawberry and vanilla. 24. Chocolate is a great economy booster. Annual world consumption of cocoa beans averages approximately 600,000 tons per year. Consumers worldwide spend more than $20 billion a year on Chocolate. 25. Chocolate syrup was used for blood in the famous shower scene in Alfred Hitchcock's movie, "Psycho". This scene, which is of 45 seconds, actually took 7 days to shoot. 26. Chocolate appears in literature - 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' by Roald Dahl, ‘Like Water for Chocolate' by Laura Esquivel, and 'Chocolat' by Joanne Harris. 27. Some amusing quotes about Chocolate: i. Forget love-- I'd rather fall in chocolate!!! - Deanna Troi in Star Trek: The Next Generation ii. I never met a chocolate I didn't like. - Deanna Troi in Star Trek: The Next Generation iii. EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY. - T-Shirt Slogan iv. All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt! - Lucy Van Pelt (in Peanuts, by Charles M. Schulz) v. I could give up chocolate but I'm not a quitter. - Lora Brody, author of Growing Up on the Chocolate Diet

Geri...my co-worker would love to visit you. She's a real turtle fanatic. She rescues turtles and even has had a big pond built on her grandfather's property just for the turtles she rescues. Isn't it funny how we can start collecting things and not even know why or how it got started? I collect lots of cat figurines, since I'm a cat lover. I started with a collection of cats that were done by Boyds (as in bears) and now I have them all. A few years ago, I got this sudden love for anything with gingerbread people on it. That is one that friends and family have really picked up on. I now leave my kitchen in gingerbread all year round and fill the rest of the house during Christmas. Oh...now I sometimes feel as if I collect photos, as I have pics of the grandbabies all over my house!!!

Are you a collector? If so, what items do you collect? What got you started with the collection?

Happy Birthday, Ry!!!!

If you found a hundred dollar bill today, what would you do with it?

I got this in an email from our Lillian but I just had to share, as this one is too funny to keep all to myself!!! New Orleans Crabs... A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde, female crew member to take care of the box for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He pointedly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, mentioned that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans , please raise your hand?" Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them. Two lessons here: 1. Men never learn. 2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most men think

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'The defense attorney nearly died.The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

A man owned a small contracting business in Ontario. The Ontario governments' Wage & Hours Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and sent an agent out to interview him. 'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent. 'Well,' replied the owner, 'there's my framer who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The site man has been here for 18 months, and I pay him $550 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makesabout $300 per week, pays his own room and board, plus I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. Occasionally, he will sleep with my wife..''That's the guy I want to talk to...the half-wit,' says the agent. That would be me,' replied the owner.

from the February 5th edition of the Wichita Falls, Texas Times Record News… Dear IRS, I am sorry to inform you that I will not be able to pay taxes owed April 15, but all is not lost. I have paid these taxes: accounts receivable tax, building permit tax, CDL tax, cigarette tax, corporate income tax, dog license tax, federal income tax, unemployment tax, gasoline tax, hunting license tax, fishing license tax, waterfowl stamp tax, inheritance tax, inventory tax, liquor tax, luxury tax, Medicare tax, city, school and county property tax (up33 percent last 4 years), real estate tax, social security tax, road usage tax, toll road tax, state and city sales tax, recreational vehicle tax, state franchise tax, state unemployment tax, telephone federal excise tax, telephone federal state and local surcharge tax, telephone minimum usage surcharge tax, telephone state and local tax, utility tax, vehicle license registration tax, capitol gains tax, lease severance tax, oil and gas assessment tax, Colorado property tax, Texas, Colorado, Wyoming, Oklahoma and New Mexico sales tax, and many more that I can't recall but I have run out of space and money. When you do not receive my check April 15, just know that it is an honest mistake. Please treat me the same way you treated Congressmen Charles Rangel, Chris Dodd, Barney Frank and ex-Congressman Tom Daschle and, of course, your boss Timothy Geithner. No penalties and no interest.

Randy...this one is a definite keeper.

This was a strange question for me to be asking, as I don't know the answer...lol!!! I absolutely love cookbooks and have way too many of them. But...when I try and tell myself that I rarely use them and need to find homes for them, I just can't do it. I have a cookbook that was printed in 1902 that belonged to my grandmother.

Wow.....what an intense episode last night! I was glued to the TV for the entire 2 hours. Although a few things were predictable, they just kept on happening so fast. Now, I can't wait for next week to see what happens next. I thought Kitty's words to the baby about it being "just the two of them" was very interesting, especially since she had just seen the press conference announcing that Robert was still running for governor. Makes me wonder if she plans on really leaving him???

How many cookbooks do you have? What is the oldest cookbook you have?

Judy....I know I can definitely relate to the Florida comment....LOL!!!

Not the sharpest tack in the box

Cheeseburgers and Onion Rings.....

Driving techniques around America . . . * One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: CHICAGO * One hand on wheel, one middle finger out window: NEW YORK * One hand on wheel, one middle finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: NEW JERSEY * One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: BOSTON * One hand on wheel, one hand on nonfat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, gun in lap: LOS ANGELES * Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: OHIO, but driving in PHILADELPHIA * Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: ITALY * One hand on 12 oz. Double shot latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game, banging head on steering wheel while stuck in traffic: SEATTLE * One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald' bag out the window: TEXAS and/or OKLAHOMA * Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: ALABAMA AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST --- * Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: FLORIDA

Different Ways to Say You're Not So Bright ... * A few clowns short of a circus. * A few fries short of a Happy Meal. * An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. * A few beers short of a six-pack. * Dumber than a box of hair. * A few feathers short of a whole duck. * All foam, no beer. * Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel. * Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel. * He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. * An intellect rivaled only by garden tools. * Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse. * He has an IQ of room temperature.

You Know You Drink Too Much Coffee When: * You answer the door before people knock. * Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. * You ski uphill. * You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. * You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. * You lick your coffeepot clean. * You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there. * Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. * You chew on other people's fingernails. * Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend." * You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet. * You can jump-start your car without cables. * All your kids are named "Joe". * You don't need a hammer to pound nails. * Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low." * You don't sweat, you percolate. * You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel. * You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug. * You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. * You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. * You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. * You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirs. * People get dizzy just watching you. * You've worn the finish off your coffee table. * The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you. * Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house. * Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp. * Instant coffee takes too long. * When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop." * You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can. * Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. * You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. * You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running. * You can outlast the Energizer bunny. * You short out motion detectors. * You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. * Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. * You think being called a "drip" is a compliment. * You don't tan, you roast. * You can't even remember your second cup. * You help your dog chase its tail.

Hamburgers or Cheeseburgers? French Fries or Onion Rings?

Someone told me that Tommy is being cut from the show because of his inability to get along well with the other cast members. I think he's my least favorite of the Walker clan. I was hoping he would manage to get Holly out of the business but I think he's going to get busted before it gets that far. If Tommy leaves the show, that would be interesting. Maybe the baby's father would change his sexual preference????

I'd probably head out for dinner also but, if you have all the ingredients here's a wonderful recipe that I've been using for years that's very good and easy, as the lasagna noodles don't have to be boiled before baking. This one uses regular Lasagna Noodles, but you do not have to boil them 1st. MARY ELLEN'S ONE STEP LASAGNA Qty Measurement Preparation Ingredient --- ----------- ----------- ---------- 1 1/2 CUPS WATER 2 JARS 15 1/2 OZ. SPAGHETTI SAUCE 1 BOX 16 OZ. LASAGNA NOODLES 1 CONTAINER 15 OZ. RICOTTA OR COTTAGE CHEESE 8 OZS. THINLY SLICED MOZZARELLA 1/2 CUP GRATED PARMESAN CHEESE COMBINE 1 1/2 CUPS WATER WITH SPAGHETTI SAUCE IN BOWL. COVER BOTTOM OF 13 X 9 X 2 INCH BAKING DISH WITH 1 1/2 CUPS OF SAUCE. ARRANGE LAYER OF UNCOOKED NOODLES, SLIGHTLY OVERLAPPING, ON TOP OF SAUCE. SPREAD HALF THE RICOTTA AND HALF THE MOZZARELLA OVER NOODLES. SPRINKLE WITH 2 TABLESPOONS PARMESAN. ADD ANOTHER LAYER OF SAUCE. REPEAT WITH ANOTHER LAYER OF NOODLES, THE REMAINING RICOTTA AND MOZZARELLA AND 2 TABLESPOONS PARMESAN. TOP WITH LAYER OF NOODLES. POUR REMAINING SAUCE OVER; SPREADING EVENLY TO COVER EDGES OF NOODLES. SPRINKLE WITH 1/4 CUP PARMESAN. COVER TIGHTLY WITH HEAVY-DUTY FOIL. SET ON JELLY-ROLL PAN. BAKE IN PREHEATED MODERATE OVEN (350 DEGREES) FOR ONE HOUR UNTIL KNIFE GOES EASILY THROUGH PASTA. LET STAND, COVERED, ON RACK 10 MINUTES.

I love Brothers & Sisters. Anyone want to speculate on what's going to happen Sunday night on the two hour show?

tissues fruit & vegetable peelings packaging from food