caroline

Hi I posted a response to you a few days ago...my dad died exactly 2 weeks ago and honestly your story about your mom answering the remote control was the first really good chuckle I've had in 2 weeks!!! So thank you for that. Part of the reason I laughed so hard is because my Dad in his last week kept trying to take apart the oxygen hoses (which were keeping him alive by the way)...it was pretty stressful at the time but seems funny now. Hang in there.

I just lost my Dad last Monday to nsclc. I went though something pretty similiar...my Dad was too weak at the end to push the button for more morphine and so we pushed it for him...you could tell he needed it when he started getting restless and agitated. Please read the website www.crossingthecreek.com...I read it and it really helped me feel so much better about the whole morphine situation. If your mom's mouth gets dry try misting it with water every 30-60 minutes...this will help alot especially if she is on oxygen....to make her more comfortable. If you need any support or have any questions...ask me. I definitely know what you are going through. I am so sorry we are both going through this...what a bitter end to a good fight.

Hi. I was just browsing the 'net regarding my comment about the "philosophical discussion" one might have about use of morphine during the dying process and I found an interesting website which actually helped make me feel better about how we are managing my Dad's care. There's always that seed of doubt about taking care of the family member at home...i.e. do we really know what we're doing? is he really as comfortable as we can make him?. anyway I really enjoyed reading www.crossingthecreek.com. HTH

My Dad will probably pass within the next few weeks of LC. I would like to state in the obit that in lieu of flowers to send a donation to someplace that will benefit LC or LC research...any ideas?

My Dad is also in a hospice situation (at his home) at this time. He is currently only taking morphine....the higher the dosage goes the more comfortable he seems (i.e. less gasping for breath and less agitation) but the more disoriented and sleepy he seems. So from my limited experience I would conclude that morphine could definitely decrease their ability to experience what is going on around them. But my dad was so upset with being bedridden (he was always very physically fit and active) that if he seems more comfortable and less aware of being trapped in bed we are hoping that's a good thing. It almost comes down to a philosophical debate. [/u]

Hi Thanks for your replies when I have posted on this board. I really appreciate them. You all are a very encouraging group and it's sort of hard to report bad news because most of you are so upbeat. But here goes...Dad is indeed losing this battle...he fought a brave fight for 5 years but now his body is just too tired to fight. They have stopped treating his cancer, he is taking morphine and not eating much. I could really use some words of wisdom about a few things. Dad's too weak to talk and I'm pretty introverted so the phone conversations are a bit strained...do you have any suggestions about things to talk about after I've reported the days activities? His girlfriend and I don't get along well at all but I have to bite my tongue because she is taking care of him and is my only source of reports on how he is doing. Any suggestions on how to help her from a distance? i.e. stay on her good side.

Hi Just wanted to share a portion of my experience which might relate to yours. My Dad was only a candidate for chemotherapy (no radiation or surgery). He has done quite well on chemo...no significant nausea or weight loss...some decreased energy. He has exercised almost daily...doing some form of cardio workout even if only a walk. His initial diagnosis was stage IIIB nsclc and he has been on chemo for the better part of 5 years now. He was 57 years old when he was diagnosed and I definitely think his age combined with his physical fitness and continued efforts to get exercise have helped. I also agree wholeheartedly with others who recommended getting a doctor with a very positive attitude...the way the doctors word things can have such an impact! I'm sorry you're joining us on this journey but you're in good company here.

My Dad was down in Tucson RVing when his chemo stopped working and he went downhill quickly. (and I don't mean in the RV ) He had oxygen requirements which were too great to take a commercial airline home so he was flown yesterday by air ambulance from Tucson to Anchorage...yay. I'm so glad he made it home. So now he's in the hospital in Anchorage and guess what? His oncologist is on vacation for a week...great...I didn't find out that would be the case until this morning...I had been planning that she would be our second opinion about whether there are any further treatments available. So I'm working on getting his oncologist in Seattle a copy of the records to review and see if it really and truly is time to throw in the towel. It's so frustrating when you suspect your loved one might be getting second rate care and you live in another state...arggh! Oh well I am bugging the hell out of these people over the phone.

Hi I am going through something very similar. My dad has been battling nsclc IIIB for 5 years and I realize that I am fortunate to have had 5 years to spend with him but I keep saying what a rollercoaster ride it has been!! My dad is also at the point of giving up. It's hard to know whether to encourage him not to give up or to support him in his decision so he can feel good about making peace with dying. I am still at the stage you are... of looking into whether there are any alternatives to giving up...then I guess I will gently mention them and see what he decides to do. He on the other hand, is looking into hospice care right now so I guess that tells you his frame of mind. It's really hard isn't it?

There is hope. My father has been battling stage IIIB NSCLC for 5 years. He has done very well with chemotherapy. The only advice I have is to be proactive with the doctors...do some homework on the treatments. Yes it's a rollercoaster but there certainly is hope.

Hi My dad is stage IIIB nsclc and is currently in the Tucson area...he lives in Alaska. He rather unexpectedly took a turn for the worse when his chemo stopped working and needs to get hooked up with a good doctor down there. Do any of you know of one? Thanks!

Hi...thanks so much for your feedback...it's so nice to have some interaction with people who are in similar situations. With response to the chemosensitivity idea...I think my dad is under the impression that he would have to have a thoracotomy to get the tissue sample and does not really want to go through that again. But I love the idea and it makes so much sense! As far as Don's question about visiting the major cancer centers...I am in the healthcare industry but I am an optometrist so I really don't know which cancer centers are considered "good"...are there any on the west coast that you know of? As far as Debaroo's question about clinical trials...yes I did neglect to mention along with traditional chemo treatments my dad has also been receiving experimental drugs at the same time...which was how I talked him in to coming to Seattle for treatment...to get into clinical trials. For those of you who are newer to this cancer thing...I think that one experimental drug in particular may have been partially responsible for the fact that he has survived so long...it was an angiogenesis inhibitor and I think he did really well on it. Unfortunately it didn't do well in clinical trials so it never went to market...however the woman in charge of his study group thinks the only reason it didn't do well is because you had to be stage IIIB to get into the trial...which may have been too late for most people to benefit from that particular kind of therapy. So what I am getting at is that if your loved one has a chance to be in an angiogenesis inhibitor clinical trial it may be something worth considering...perhaps especially if they are at an earlier stage. Anyway....thanks again for taking the time to reply to me and for all of your insight.

Hi. I'm new to the group here. My dad is a non-smoker who was dx'd with nsclc IIIB 5 years ago and has done quite well with chemo. The traditional therapies have kept him going this long but unfortunately they have run out of options...he has apparently used all of the chemo drugs meant for lung cancer. They are now haphazardly trying drugs meant for other cancers hoping they might work...meanwhile his lungs are filling up with fluid...they removed 2 1/2 quarts about a week ago...does that seem like a lot? It does to me. He lives in Alaska and had been coming to Seattle (and staying with me) for much of his care...so I knew he was in good hands. Now he's down in Arizona being a snow bird...and seeing a doctor who may be just fine but hasn't been subject to my scrutiny... so naturally I worry whether this doctor is his best option in Tucson. My dad is one of those guys who think this whole cancer treatment thing is such a crapshoot that it doesn't matter too much who the doctor is! Of course he may be right but I'm in the healthcare field myself so naturally I disagree. But part of my worry is that he has gone downhill really fast...he's on O2 and down in the dumps! I'm at that stage where I'm wondering if there's anything I can do and when it's time to head down there to be with him. I work and have a husband and 8 month old baby so unfortunately I can't just go down there at the drop of a hat and stay indefinitely. Any thoughts , suggestions or just words of support would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.