todayswinneris

I've been coping with a similar problem like yours. Last September, my grandfather passed away. That also happened to be the same time that I got to meet his siblings for the first time. For many years, the four of them had discomfort and a silence. They did not talked for years after their mom passed away. I was aware of him having family before, but it was a bit more shocking when I got to meet them face to face. His two brothers and sister showed up at his viewing and funeral. Many of us were surprised, but they deeply regretted for not staying in contact with him and the family. Even though I did not know them at all from the start, they did express some interest in meeting with his daughters (my mom and aunt) and also me. I decided to keep in contact with them ever since, and we have had many conversations where we tell one another what he was like in the younger or older years. What I can suggest to you is take the process in steps. First, just try to make contact with your fellow relatives. See where it goes from there. I am sure they would appreciate a phone call from you, because I bet some of them are feeling the same way as you. If they do ask to keep in touch, go on and do it. You can figure out what method you like better, with e-mail or whatnot. Once again, I am sorry to hear about your mother and I do wish the best of luck to you with this. Best of wishes, Laura

I have never taken the moment to thank all those people who have replied to my posts. All of you have left me with a building block that will help me repair the hole that has formed since the death of my grandfather. Your sympathy and kindess brings tears of happiness to my eyes and a smile upon my face. Once again, thank you. I don't know I would do without your words of wisdom. Love, Laura

It certainly does not feel like a few weeks have gone since the passing of my grandfather. I still remember the daze I was wandering in at his viewing and funeral service. I was an emotional mess that day. One moment we were all laughing, and then the next tears swept over once more. Instead of my case improving on this, it seems to be going in the wrong direction. I find myself breaking down at random times because I see an object or picture that reminds me of him. My drive to work is not any better. The Baltimore Harbor (one his all-time favorite places), the business he worked in so many years, the 4100 Club where his friends and him ate lunch every Monday. Forget me on that though. My grandmother is the one worst off. They met when in high school, eventually falling in love together. He proposed at the age of nineteen and they moved into a small apartment. Fifty-five years of a solid marriage is what she carries with her. She misses him so dearly. The situation of her living alone is torn into two. Nobody wants to give up that house where there is so many memories. The other side is that we don't want her grieving by herself. It would be hard for my brother or I to move in. He is raising two daughters by himself (lost his wife to cancer also) and I am currently in the process of having my boyfriend of four years moving in with me. Maybe I do need to become more thankful for what I have now instead of being a gloom or doom mess. My own family was not that stable back in the past. My father was always flying on the plane or talking on his cell phone. He was a business kind of person. He eats, sleeps, and breathes work. The problem was is he really had no clue how to show us any kind of love or comforting. Whenever one of us cried for having a hurt leg, he ran off in the other direction. My mother was pretty much left on her own to raise us. That is when my grandparents stepped in. My grandfather took the role we both needed filled in our lives. He did double duty just to make sure we grew up knowing someone cared for us. My brother and I grew so fond of him. I can't even begin to describe what type of person he was. He changed everything. His love for life was filled with an unusual passion you probably won't come across often. He had friends surrounding him everywhere. It was even difficult for me to keep their names straight because there is so many. Met some threw his job, men's clubs, church, and the places you would not expect. As you can tell--pretty much a social kind of guy. I loved the confidence he carried and the witty humor he owned along with it. He made all of us whole. Losing him has been losing part of myself. I did not realize how much he filled my heart until he was torn away from me. He did an overwhelming amount for me. I wish I could pay him back--somehow. His smile and booming laugh made my face filled with more happiness than it ever will. He made the small things in my view so valuable. The cancer took him so quickly. Just after getting back from our annual vacation to Ocean City, Maryland, this past summer, our reality crashed down. That was the last time I saw him being himself--Tom Wright. That was the picture I want to remember before the disease started controlling the wheel. He was a strong man that would try to fight through it. At one point we all acknowledged there was not much left to do. All six cancers were too far in the process to put to a stop. I got to see him one last time, but in a hospital bed. His skin was a yellow hue and his eyes contained fear. I have never seen him like that. It gave myself a scare. This was all a new experience for me. I was about to lose one of the greatest role models in my life. Tommorrow, at 10:04 in the morning on October tenth, will be all too depressing. I just feel helpless on how to pull myself together. Enough of me and my vents. Love, Laura

I am sorry about the loss of your mother. It is a hard sight to know a disease is taking them at the younger years after a long battle. Sending my prayers and sympathy out to your family. Love, Laura

Having those little things to bond over brings the greatest moments to memory. Later on in life you'll really appreciate it. Every second counts when a loved one has cancer. Thank you--this post made my day a little brighter. Love, Laura

MJ, I know how you feel with the rollercoaster of stress. Cherish the moments where your mother feels well and support her when she is not in the greatest state of health. I will include your family in my prayers. I wish the best of luck. May God be with you. Love, Laura

My niece, Jayme, read this poem she created for my grandfather's funeral service for speakers. The vibe of the verses puts the picture in perspective for me. Hopefully this brings some memories, faith, or hope to any soul out there who needs some grief lifted off their shoulders. The Night Angel I look up to the midnight sky the golden stars breaking through there is a pair of snowy white wings which are owned particularly by you My eyelids flutter to the darkness the memories sketching in my mind it is the sight of you in my dreams the treasure I wanted to find I pray my wish will come true we can grasp one another's hand the two of us are united together living forever in this holy land Left to right: Grandmother (Doris), Jayme, grandfather (Tom)

That is great to hear he is doing well. I wish the best of luck to him through his surgery and recovery. May God be with you. -Laura

I lost my grandfather a week shortly after posting my story about him. I did get to see him one last time on Labor Day. He appeared to be so weak yet so helpless. His humor tried to lift my spirit but it was a mental block was not allowing me to share a laugh. I am still in a daze without him. Even though I have a father, he took my under his grasp and helped me become the person I am today. He was the one I'd turn to for a hug and smile when life got at its roughest. It was under a matter of two months when I lost him to five different type of cancers. After our trip to Ocean City it went downhill. I'll never forget that smile on your face when I sat next to you at dinner that one night. Your face was filled with bliss and love I can never describe. You played a major part in our lives. Living every single second the way you wanted to was the direction taken. The memories and photos describe the wonderful you person you are. It will never be the same without you. Everyday we miss you--all of your family and friends. Gil yearns to have his partner in crime back. I love you with all my heart. Someday we shall meet again.. Rest in peace Pop-Pop. Let me know you're here with me.

It was July twenty eighth, just a little over a month ago. I recieved the news that my grandfather has cancer. Not only was it lung cancer, but colon too. That night I started crying uncontrollably. The words my mother spoke gave a big blow into my heart. Never is it pleasant to know a loved one is so close to you, and now they have to start the process of a battle. It marked the day we started the rollercoaster ride, dipping into the highs and lows of the ride. Keeping hope and pray to the Lord is all we can do. He was entered into a hospital in downtown Baltimore, which has too many medical buildings to name. They started preforming a series of test, which lead to answers that would make us smile or cause tears to form in our eyes. We were thankful for a good family friend, and also under the profession of a doctor. He insisted on house calls, which saved the trip for my grandparents to drive up to his practice. Within every minute, second and hour, everything started whirling downhill. There was going to be any return to get rocketed back up where we wanted the situation to be. One week, in mid August, he had a scheduled appointment to get a small percentage of a chemo treatment. That was all we had to rely on. No other treatment was an option, especially for the fact that he has many other health problems off to the side. That particular day didn't do too well. Instead of having a positive affect on his health, it turned into a negative one. They were puzzled at the results, but just let it at the thought that maybe it was a reaction to having it done for the first time. He got sent home, acknowledged to come back soon to try another round of it. I decided to go down and visit. I spent some time with my grandfather and grandmother, doing anything to give an extra set of hands and to give them a rest. He was feeling quite well. Had a hunger level and wasn't exhausted for once. After I departed home, it got worse. He's been in the hospital ever since. They gave another dose of chemo treatment again. It was history repeating itself. His doctor decided to run a CAT scan, which pointed them into the direction of making a discovery. What was causing all of this trouble? A rare form of cancer. It is at its peak, taking control by sitting in the driver's seat. To get even more chemo was not an option. He would feel too poor. Today I have discovered that he does not have too much longer on this earth. Maybe four to six weeks possibly. With the condition he is in, we predict it may be earlier that expected. Who knows. Maybe he can outbeat it. That is a slim chance indeed though. My grandfather is too weak. I am at loss of words what to say. Growing up, I grew fond of him. He would listen to my wildest dreams and down to the little things that worried me so much. To lose him is to lose part of myself. All my other relatives passed away when I was at a younger age. Of course, I had no understanding what death was and what was going on. I feel like this is going to be too much to handle, for I have cried myself to sleep too many times to count already. How does everyone else move on in life? I wonder about that. I am not sure what to do anymore, or how to cope with this. -Laura