It's been a rollor coaster ride since 2002. In 2002, my mom died then after an agonizing 3 months in the hospital my father died, then 3 days later my husband was diagnosed with nsclc. Then early last year my poor step mom who barely had time to grieve for my dad was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. I keep trying to stay stong for my husband and our 4 and 10 year old daughters. But all this death and sickness begins to feel like punishment for some wrong I have done. Now I know that isn't the case at all, and my faith is strong, but there are days, like this last Friday, when yet again another family member, this time my step father who raised me, was found to have cancerous polyps in his colon. I swear there is a big scary monster just waiting to pounce on another family member, I only have my sister and kids left who have not been touched directly by grave illness. I am so scared to go and have a physical or even think about any ache or pain I have. My husband is Stage 4, and is beginning a clinical trial at the Karmano's Cancer Institute in a couple weeks.
Thank you for listening.
Erin