My thoughts are to never, ever feel bad about any emotions connected to this Teri. Emotions that have even been experienced before seem to come up, and then they fade (and sometimes recur). When my husband was dx, lung cancer was not even a distant thought in our minds. He was so healthy and no symptoms (and he has never smoked). We lived a totally surreal existence after the dx waiting for the pneumonectomy. As I mentioned above, the waiting was by far the hardest part - it is easy for the mind to go a bit 'crazy' at times. I actually asked my husband's surgeon if he had ever lost a patient on the operating table and he said 'no'. That set our minds at rest - somehow I didn't think my husband was going to be his first! After the major surgery (he had the full thoracotomy) everything has been so much easier to deal with for us both. He has just completed 4 cycles of adjuvant (mop up) chemotherapy to hopefully zap any stray microscopic cancer cells and that has gone really well too. Scans last Tuesday and results in a week. It is a whole new world - new emotions, new vocabulary, new everything. All the very, very best, Judy