Heather M.

I can't believe i am able to get up in the mornings. I miss my mom so much it is unbearable. plus we are already (mom has only been gone 16 days) dealing with legal battles resulting from my mom leaving almost everying to me in her trust. then there are days like today when she sends me some wonderful sign that i know she is here with me. my mom loved ladybugs! she had every ladybug piece of jewelry ever made and tons of stuffed animals etc. this morning i went outside with our shih tzu and sat down on mom's wooden bench. within a minute a ladybug landed on my slipper. i haven't seen a ladybug in months and this morning one landed on me!! that was mom. she has also been sending me voice mails (old ones that i had saved have been sent to me almost daily since she died.) i even called verizon to see if they knew why they were being sent and they are baffled. thank you mom for continuing to be the best mom in the world!!

My beautfiful mommy, Ruby E. Brannum, died on Friday, November 18, 2005. She was at home with her family by her side, just the way she wanted. I will be posting links to her obituaries in the Santa Maria Times and Coalinga Record as soon as I am able. Thank you for all of your support during this awful time.

It's been a while since i've posted. Life has been extremely crazy. We found out in July that we are expecting our fourth child and recently found out that it's a boy. That will even out our tribe (two boys and two girls). Anyway, no good news today. A week ago, my mom woke up confused and unable to put her words together. At the hospital they discovered 5 new brain mets. She met with her radiation oncologist and he said the words i've been dreading for 14 months-- "I'm sorry, but there's nothing else we can do." So, we called hospice on Friday and we are dealing with the reality that my mom is dying. She is in and out of coherency and only gets out of bed to use her bed side commode. And then only with assistance. The last count, she had 11 tumors visible thru her skin. I can only imagine how many she has inside. Please pray for my mom. So far her pain level has been managable. Thank you.

Hello to all- We found out on July 1st that my precious Mommy is in remission! The mass in her lymph nodes around her trachea are gone! The mass in her breast is gone! The mass in her abdomen is gone! AND the mets in her brain are gone! I am still on cloud nine. She has been through so much in the past 10 months with chemo, radiation, blood clots in her lungs, pneumonia, lack of appetite, nausea, extreme fatigue, etc. And to look at her today (the new picture is of she and I taken yesterday) you would just think she needs to get her hair dyed and put on about 5 pounds. The pale chemo palor has finally gone away and her energy level has improved greatly. I am so thankful to God for the blessings that he has bestowed upon us by healing my mom. I know that there is no "cure" for this dreaded disease that invaded my mother's body, but I truly believe that she's been healed. I will believe that until I see proof otherwise. Thank you so much for being there for me this past year. I will try to be better about checking in. I was so sad to hear about David C. He was such an awesome and inspirational man. I am so sorry for your loss Karen.

My mom finishes radiation on Friday and we are feeled with apprehension. I'm not sure what comes next and that scares me. Is there anything left to do if the radiation doesn't work? We are in the process of changing oncologists due to gross negligence (will explain later). We thank you so much for your prayers. On a brighter note, my husband and I will be celebrating our 8th anniversary on Sunday. Of course he has to work and we'll have to actually celebrate it on another day, our actual anniversary is Sunday. He is my best friend, my love, and my heart. I can't imagine going through all of this without him.

My mom had swollen feet and ankles for months. It's hard for me to pinpoint exactly when it started because everything kinda happened quickly and events overlapped each other. But, during the time that she had WBR and was on decadron she swelled a lot and gained 20 pounds. Most of this swelling was relieved when they started chemo because her superior vena cava syndrome was helped. She started chemo on the last day of her WBR and she was still on decadron. Her feet and ankles were so swollen that she couldn't even wear slippers. She was absolutely miserable. Her oncologist put her on lasix (40 mg once a day). This helped somewhat. Then 2 weeks later she doubled the lasix to twice a day and guess what?! Within a week all the swelling was down and hasn't come back since. Of course her doctors won't say exactly what it was (decadron, chemo, heart, etc.) but we were just glad to have it go away. Hope this helps.

I am praying for your Mom and your family.

My sister's doctor called her today and informed her that her chest x-ray from over a month ago (she was very sick and they wanted to rule out pneumonia)showed numerous unknown spots in her lungs!! They wanted to know if she'd had another x-ray done within the past 5 years. She had one done in 2001 so she's taking that in at noon tomorrow and her doctor is going to compare them and do a CT. She is 48 years old and has smoked off and on for 30 years. She is 18 years older than me and is like my second mom. When my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, my sister said she knew she couldn't take mom's place in my life, but that she would be my mommy stand-in and grandma stand-in for my kids. She has a 28 year old son,24 year old daughter and 17 year old son. She also has four adopted children (14,10,8, and 6)that she is raising on her own. I am absolutely freaking out right now! I will not do this!!! I refuse to believe that there could even be a remote possibility that this is lung cancer!!! Please pray for my precious sister, Debbi.*** New picture is (from left to right) back row/brothers Jerry, Terry (yes, believe it or not they are twins!! ) my daddy, my brother Rick--middle row/my sissy Debbi, my angel mommy, Ruby, and me (Heather Diane aka "the baby") and front row/ my baby girl, Kaitlyn Diane, doing her best monkey face.

We got some wonderful news today!!!! The results of Mom's MRI were in today and guess what?! ALL BRAIN METS ARE GONE!!! I was expecting to hear bad news of course and when her oncologist read the results, I almost fainted. I have been on cloud nine all day long. There was evidence of a stroke (not sure how they know) but we had suspected that from day one. She had all the symptoms of a stroke in September when this all started. She is doing great now, but she struggles a lot with getting her thoughts together and remembering what she was going to say. She never remembers what medicines she's on and why. Good thing I'm in charge of that! Anyway, her doctor is leaving her on dilantin so I'm not sure about her driving again, but we'll ask her radiation oncologist on Monday. Thank you so much for always listening, sharing, praying, and caring. God bless you all!!

Summer- May God comfort you in this horrible time. I am so sorry for your loss.

Hi everyone- I think the shock of my mom's CT results (trachea mass growing) has worn off and now I am able to think rationally. Watch out!! It occurred to me that my mom's oncologist is trusting the radiologists report without having looked at the scans. Has anyone had experiences with the radiologists reports being wrong? He (the radiologist) also wrote that he thought my mom had lymphoma. I am really glad that her radiation oncologist will be looking at the scans and mri. Also, my mom finished her 6th cycle of chemo on Wednesday of one week and had the CT done on Tuesday of the next week. Couldn't the chemo still be working and the CT results not be accurate. Thanks once again to you all.

My mom's CT from two weeks ago showed an enlarged ovary (she had a hysterectomy in 1976 and her doctor left one ovary to prevent early menopause). When I asked her doctor if it could be the cancer spreading she said if it was then it was a new primary. But if you have heard that small cell can start in the ovaries, I'm curious. I will discuss this again with her other oncologist tomorrow and let you know if I find anything out.

Well, we had good news and bad news on Thursday. The good news was that the cancer hadn't spread to any other organs, etc. The bad news was that the mass in her lymph nodes around her trachea is getting larger. So, we have decided to do radiation. If anyone wants to let us know some of the things to expect, we would gladly appreciate it. Thanks to everyone for their continued prayers and support.

I haven't posted for a while because life has been crazy! But, I thought I would take a few minutes and catch you guys up. My mom just finished her 6th cycle of chemo on Wednesday and we were glad for the day. She was hospitalized in January with pulmonary embolisms (I know that there is a way to make that word plural ) Her oncologist didn't think she would be able to tolerate chemo any more because her lungs were so fragile. However, Mom proved her wrong and a week later had chemo session number 5. She is having CT scans and a MRI on Tuesday and we should have the results by Thursday. Please pray for her! Thank you to all of you. Even though I haven't posted, I try to read the new posts a few times a week. I am praying for everyone. Without you all, I would be lost right now. The new picture is my beautiful mom, my husband Bill, my 10 year old son David, my 9 year old daughter Brianna, and the blond haired 3 year old is our daughter Kaitlyn. God bless you guys and I will let you know how things go on Thursday.

My mom had WBR due to mets in her brain. That was in September and she is doing wonderful now. She wasn't experiencing the dizziness like your sister, but she did have a massive seizure and stroke like symptoms. If it sounds like their histories are similar and you want further information, feel free to email me. I will keep her in my prayers.

I just was wondering if there is any financial assistance that anyone knows of that can help a caregiver. My mom is retired and barely receives $900 a month, but she owns a home. I need help desperately because I had to quit my job to take care of her and we're not making it on the money my husband makes. Help please!!

Hi guys- I don't post often, but I couldn't pass this one up. My mom had her first CAT scans since treatment started and we received a wonderful Christmas present. The cancer surrounding her trachea is reduced by at least 50% and nothing showed in the brain!! Her doctor ordered an MRI for later this month just to make sure. We had a little set back this week. She was unable to start chemo round #4 due to bronchitis, but antibiotics are working so we should be on for Monday. Thanks to everyone for their prayers. God bless all!

Thanks guys for all your responses. Since you did so good with my three year old, let's try my 8 year old daughter (Brianna). She had a major melt down this morning! She is really close to my mom. I wanted to bless my mom, so I gave Brianna my mom's beautiful middle name (Ellen). That pretty much sealed their fate as best buddies. I thought things were going okay with my older kids. No major changes in grades, attitudes, sleep patterns, behavior, etc. I took Brianna to the doctor on Tuesday because she's been having headaches at night. I was thinking maybe her asthma medicine needed adjusted or possible her eyes needed checked. Her doctor gave her a complete examination and came up with zilch. She did mention, however, that Bri has gained 5 pounds in the past two months. So, she ordered a blood test (CBC, lipid, kidney function, liver function, etc.) to see what is going on with the sudden weight gain. I explained to her what is going on at home (my mom lives with us and my kids get to experience every up and down she has--not to mention worrying about me because I cry all the time). Brianna is gaining weight because she is stressed out and is finding comfort in food. I am having a very hard time dealing with things lately and I'm 30! I can't imagine being 8. Anyway, this morning, Brianna started crying first thing when she got up. I took her in my room to talk and snuggle and she really opened up. She is so afraid her grandma is going to die. She said that yesterday (Thanksgiving) was hard because she wonders if Grandma will be here next year. It breaks my heart. She and I have lived in fear of this for so long (without sharing this with each other). Our worst nightmare has come true. Brianna says that she can't sleep very well at night and that she thinks about it all day at school. What can I do to help my baby? From the beginning, when my mom was in the hospital and not expected to live through the night, I was honest with my 10 year old son (David) and Bri. When I would come home from the hospital at night, I would tell them everything that had happened that day. When we found out Mom had cancer, I sat them down and cried with them and told them that Grandma has a disease that has no cure. I don't tell them the statistics, but I do tell them that we could have 1 more hour or 10 more years because it's in God's hands. Now, I'm wondering if I shouldn't have been so open with them. Especially Bri. I really don't know what to do except to hold her when she cries and try to keep her mind occupied with other things. This is such an awful disease! I have a hard time believing that we can put a man on the moon, but we can't find cures for these monsters that are killing us. I am so angry that my babies have to go through this. My grandma died when I was 17 (from lung cancer). I was extremely devastated when she passed away, but to be honest, we weren't that close. I maybe saw her 2 or 3 times a year because we lived in different parts of California. My kids haven't gone more than 5 or 6 days in their entire lives without seeing my mom. We've lived together for about 6 years of their lives. How are they going to cope with a loss that great? How am I going to be any help to them when I am going to be a total wreck myself? Will we ever be totally happy ever again? As hard as I try to be positive, everyday I think of her dying. I honestly don't know what to do. I feel helpless and miserable. I still need my mom to teach me things. I still need my mom to give me advice on child rearing, financial issues, etc. Oh God Please help us to get through this.

I am struggling with how to deal with my three year old baby girl. For the past few months (since my mom's dx) she has been asking questions like "Is grandma better?" and "Is grandma going to be okay?". I have explained to my older kids what is going on and that we may have grandma for two more hours or 10 more years. That the doctors are doing everything they can, but that it is in God's hands. How do I answer my baby? Up to this point, I have been telling her that Grandma is getting better. And she is. But should I go into details about what could happen? Or is she too young? Thank you for your help on this one. I'm at a loss.

Andrea- Sorry I'm a little late to reply. I haven't been on in a few days. Anyway, my mom started WBR two weeks after her diagnosis. Her doctor had started her on decadron on a Friday and she began radiation on Monday. The main side effects from the decadron were extreme water retention (she got really swollen within the first two days) and trouble sleeping. She also had an awesome appetite. With the WBR, nothing seemed different until the second week (she had 10 doses total). She became very wobbly when she walked. She also had severe short term memory loss. She would ask a question, I would answer it, and she would ask the same question again within minutes. Her hair fell out about one week after radiation ended. It has almost been two months since her treatments and her hair is starting to grow back and her memory is greatly improved. I would say she is 98 percent normal now. She goes back to her radiation doctor on December 1st and he will be scheduling a CT to check progress. If you have any more questions, let me know.

Hi Nenette- I missed your first post because we've been moving for the past week and I haven't had any extra time to log on. I am so sorry for what you are going through with your mom. My mother was diagnosed Sept. 21, 2004 with extensive SCLC with 3 brain mets. I am 30 years old and this news was life shattering. My mother is my best friend in the whole world. We do everything together (including relocating 3 hours away from our home town.) I seriously don't know how I made it through the first hours after hearing the words "Baby girl, it's cancer." And to make matters so much worse, finding out that she had small cell lung cancer. The prognosis is not very bright. But I have realized that no one can put a timeline on my mother's life. Only God knows when he will call her home! I love this web site because you get so much positive feedback from wonderful people and suddenly you don't feel so alone. What I've learned so far is that every day I have with my mommy is a blessing (the doctors didn't think she would live through a 45 minute helicopter transport on Sept. 12, 2004). She is doing wonderful today. She has done two cycles of chemo and 10 doses of brain radiation. She is a fighter and has a great attitude "I don't have time for this!" She says there are many things she still has to teach my kids and that she will win this battle. Stay positive! (90 percent of the time) Try not to focus on the statistics and horror stories. I have learned to cherish every second! I'm here if you need a shoulder. Anytime.

I just need to vent a little. There is so much going on right now and I feel like I am on the verge of losing it. Along with the daily care of my mom, we are moving this month. My mom has been building a new house and once she found out she had LC, we decided we would move in with her. The builders have moved the completion date 5 times and, finally, we found out today that it will be done tomorrow. So, this weekend we are moving her stuff (LOTS OF STUFF!!!!!) from her storage to the new house. It involves going "home" to the town I was born and raised in, which will be hard because I know I will run into friends who haven't heard the news about my mom yet. I know I will drive by Mom's old house (it's two blocks away from storage) and remember so many good times that we had there. Cancer free times. Then, next week we will be moving our stuff (again, LOTS OF STUFF!!!) to storage and taking the basics to Mom's new house. I am extremely overwhelmed. I'm not sleeping very well. And I think that is why I am beginning to become compulsive about Mom's symptoms. I am convinced that she has mets on her liver! Her feet and ankles have been swollen since they started her on decadron (she is now off it). Of course, I am fearing the worst, that it is her liver. Or maybe HOA. Or heart failure... Get the picture?? I should be packing and cleaning right now, but instead I am spending hours researching online. Her doctor assured me today that her liver is fine. How does she know that? All she did today was a routine blood test. I am thinking that she should have done more to rule out liver mets. Am I being paranoid? I really like Mom's doctor, but sometimes I feel that she shouldn't wait for chemo to end to do a CT. Sorry for my rambling (again ). I need to hear from you guys. You are so important to me right now. I don't want to be in the dark about this awful disease. Thank you so much for listening.

Rosebush- There is so much love and support here. I was amazed at how many people have similar stories to my mothers. This is a wonderful place to come to vent. I know that I don't feel so alone and helpless now. I will be praying for you and your husband.

My mother just finished her second cycle of chemotherapy and her feet are hurting. Mainly just one, but both have given her problems. She says it feels as if she has stepping on a rock (bruised). Has anyone heard of this this?

TeeTee- My mom was also recently diagnosed with lung cancer and I am taking care of her along with my three small children. I am new to all of this and can't offer the best advice right now, but I am here if you need to talk. My mother quit smoking 2 months ago (after diagnosis) and every day is still a struggle. Her appetite comes and goes and we have found that the medication megace works pretty good. I just listen a lot, hold her when she cries, and keep reassuring her that things are going to be okay. Once your mom starts treatment she will probably feel better. My mom did almost immediately. Let me know if you need a shoulder.