CIndy0121

Perhaps because she tested EGFR positive, they didn't need to look to other mutations to determine the best treatment. Someone please correct me if I am wrong (I am EGFR negative and I have no idea what L858R means), but that's the mutation that has the most targeted, effective treatments. Stage IV eliminated surgery and radiation options for me; my metastasis is to the other lung. Hope someone will chime in if they think some radiation or surgery or ablation might also be appropriate to try to get rid of or shrink some of those bone, brain, liver mets. Sorry I can't be more helpful; my (limited) understanding based on my personal situation is that metastatic cancer can only be treated with a systemic treatment.


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Well, surgery turned out to be more or less a breeze--very little pain.  But last night I told nurses my glands felt swollen--nurse advised doctor, and I'm told it is "crepitus"--air bubbles that work their way up as a result of air leak.  Surgeon saw me this morning and told me it should resolve on its own but if it gets worse to come back and they might need another chest tube or something.  I'm still a bit fuzzy from pain meds, so not a hundred percent sure on what he said they would do.  Apparently it can cause problems if it travels too far up or becomes too difficult for swallowing/talking.
Anyone else have that experience?
I have followup with surgeon on Tuesday, and he says we should have pathology results by then, for formal diagnosis/staging.  
Overall, though, feeling pretty good.  I'm glad to have the cancer out--now have fingers crossed for good pathology report.  Hoping for 1a!

CJ,
I imagine the unsuccessful attempts to repair the tear and whatever damage those procedures left behind is a major factor in the decision of how to proceed. It sounds like a "tumor board" or at least most of your entire treatment team met today. I hope their collective input about the cancer, radiation possibilities, lung function and surgical possibilities arrives at a recommendation that makes sense to you and answers all of your questions. You have the right to each of their expertise with the understanding that, as you know, they are no guarantees. But they're the experts and you're the patient, and you need to be able to make a well-informed decision. Will both lobes need removal or just the one affected by the damaged artery? Is it the same lobe that your cancer/tumor is in? Is a biopsy of the lymph node being considered, or is the size of it the reason they want to wait a few months and see if it's inflammation that subsides or a possible metastasis? I can't imagine what it must be like to be so young and anxious to plan your future, but have to wait for so many answers. It's encouraging that the meeting was today and not planned to wait until another look at the lymph nodes in a few months. Where are you being treated? You could get a second opinion, especially if they do recommend surgery. With the complications you already have, you want someone experienced enough for you and that surgeon to be confident in his or her ability. We know what a difficult time you're going through and we've all been there. Please keep us posted, but also don't hesitate to reach out if you're feeling the need for more support. Best wishes to you, CJ.
cindy

CJ,
I imagine the unsuccessful attempts to repair the tear and whatever damage those procedures left behind is a major factor in the decision of how to proceed. It sounds like a "tumor board" or at least most of your entire treatment team met today. I hope their collective input about the cancer, radiation possibilities, lung function and surgical possibilities arrives at a recommendation that makes sense to you and answers all of your questions. You have the right to each of their expertise with the understanding that, as you know, they are no guarantees. But they're the experts and you're the patient, and you need to be able to make a well-informed decision. Will both lobes need removal or just the one affected by the damaged artery? Is it the same lobe that your cancer/tumor is in? Is a biopsy of the lymph node being considered, or is the size of it the reason they want to wait a few months and see if it's inflammation that subsides or a possible metastasis? I can't imagine what it must be like to be so young and anxious to plan your future, but have to wait for so many answers. It's encouraging that the meeting was today and not planned to wait until another look at the lymph nodes in a few months. Where are you being treated? You could get a second opinion, especially if they do recommend surgery. With the complications you already have, you want someone experienced enough for you and that surgeon to be confident in his or her ability. We know what a difficult time you're going through and we've all been there. Please keep us posted, but also don't hesitate to reach out if you're feeling the need for more support. Best wishes to you, CJ.
cindy

Ok update doctors office just called they have moved my appointment up to next Friday and have two offices on high alert to get me sooner I guess they have looked at scans and feel I need to been seen sooner


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I'll "weigh in". Pearl, Your doctor may have a medical situation in her family, but that should not put your medical situation on hold. Another doctor or nurse practitioner should order the needle biopsy at the hospital they are associated with. It's an outpatient procedure done by an interventional radiologist. Or they should schedule you for a PET scan at the facility they work with for those, but only a biopsy can confirm cancer. If they refer you to a thoracic surgeon, they can order the biopsy. If it is cancer and operable, that's who would do it. This is when you need to advocate for yourself and tell them what you need. If it is positive, you wouldn't be going back to a pulmonologist anyway. You would work with the surgeon or radiational or medical oncologist depending what treatment is decided upon. I know it's awful to be stuck in the unknown and scared and confused...and it's a holiday weekend. My center is open tomorrow even though they're closed Tuesday, but calling tomorrow is worth a try. Definitely Wednesday. Then let us know where things stand. You need to know that something else is scheduled sooner than another office visit at the no of the month. We'll be thinking of you.
Cindy

I'll "weigh in". Pearl, Your doctor may have a medical situation in her family, but that should not put your medical situation on hold. Another doctor or nurse practitioner should order the needle biopsy at the hospital they are associated with. It's an outpatient procedure done by an interventional radiologist. Or they should schedule you for a PET scan at the facility they work with for those, but only a biopsy can confirm cancer. If they refer you to a thoracic surgeon, they can order the biopsy. If it is cancer and operable, that's who would do it. This is when you need to advocate for yourself and tell them what you need. If it is positive, you wouldn't be going back to a pulmonologist anyway. You would work with the surgeon or radiational or medical oncologist depending what treatment is decided upon. I know it's awful to be stuck in the unknown and scared and confused...and it's a holiday weekend. My center is open tomorrow even though they're closed Tuesday, but calling tomorrow is worth a try. Definitely Wednesday. Then let us know where things stand. You need to know that something else is scheduled sooner than another office visit at the no of the month. We'll be thinking of you.
Cindy

Carol,
Hi! I am also stage IV adenocarcinoma. I was on Alimta for about six months between my standard first line chemo and the immunotherapy I am on now. My creatinine levels were always normal on Alimta, but started fluctuating about a year after starting Nivolumab. What are his numbers? I took a treatment break at 1.8 and took prednisone for a short time to see if that would get it back under control. It has lowered a little and stabilized around 1.4, but they won't give me IV contrast with my scans unless it is <1.3 (?) I have a referral from my PCP to a nephrologist, but need to reschedule the appointment because I have a conflict. Make sure he dos drink the proper amount of water, don't use ibuprofen, get plenty of sleep, stay active and try eating things like: cauliflower, berries, cucumber, cherries, dried apricots and incorporate chamomile tea, cinnamon, lemon juice, cranberry juice and limit salt intake, dairy and other foods high in potassium and calcium. Maybe if I was more diligent about those things, mine would be lower too. I'll let you know if I get in to see a specialist soon.
 
cindy

I'll "weigh in". Pearl, Your doctor may have a medical situation in her family, but that should not put your medical situation on hold. Another doctor or nurse practitioner should order the needle biopsy at the hospital they are associated with. It's an outpatient procedure done by an interventional radiologist. Or they should schedule you for a PET scan at the facility they work with for those, but only a biopsy can confirm cancer. If they refer you to a thoracic surgeon, they can order the biopsy. If it is cancer and operable, that's who would do it. This is when you need to advocate for yourself and tell them what you need. If it is positive, you wouldn't be going back to a pulmonologist anyway. You would work with the surgeon or radiational or medical oncologist depending what treatment is decided upon. I know it's awful to be stuck in the unknown and scared and confused...and it's a holiday weekend. My center is open tomorrow even though they're closed Tuesday, but calling tomorrow is worth a try. Definitely Wednesday. Then let us know where things stand. You need to know that something else is scheduled sooner than another office visit at the no of the month. We'll be thinking of you.
Cindy

Julie,
Tom has provided a wealth of resources and support regarding the EGFR mutation. I tested negative for it, so my limited knowledge of it is limited. I have encountered many other patients who have been on Tarceva for a very long time, and I'm hearing about other targeted therapies in development and trials. What I CAN empathize with is being diagnosed with stage IV NSCLC adenocarcinoma. It is so overwhelming, even being seven months into the process. I totally understand the anxiety you must be feeling this evening about your scan tomorrow. When will you get results? Now that all your diagnostic tests and procedures are complete and you have a treatment plan, hopefully you will continue to live your life the way you always have without having to devote much time, attention of discomfort from side effects to your cancer. It will be natural for you to anticipate the periodic scans with anxiety because that's the one moment, the results of which, so much depend. So, I'll be thinking of you and looking forward to your sharing your news in the coming days. Thank you for sharing your story with us.
Cindy

Laura,
For your lives to change so drastically in such a short period of time must be overwhelming for you. All of us here are so sorry to read about your situation. I am glad you are satisfied with hospice services so far and I'm glad you have felt you could share here and be supported. I too had no lung cancer symptoms until it was found accidentally and had already advanced. THat is true for many lung cancer patients. If you have already been dealing with CF, why would you ever suspect lung cancer? We are thinking of you and sending prayers for comfort for your husband.
Cindy

Dawn,
We understand exactly what you are going through. 
I'm not a doctor but from your description, your dad's cancer will likely stage at IV. But there are two subtypes of NSCLC: adenocarcinoma and Squamous cell. This subtype information is important because treatments are different. Perhaps his oncologist will report which subtype he has because this information results from the biopsy.
Your dad may receive radiation and chemotherapy or perhaps just chemotherapy. But, there have been many advances in treatment with new targeted therapy and immunotherapy that are showing remarkable results. 
My tip is to ensure someone accompanies your dad to his oncology consult to ensure understanding of his diagnosis and treatment plan. Read Lung Cancer 101 at Lungevity.org. That should give you a good understanding about our disease. 
Waiting is indeed hard. I've been waiting for answers for 13 years and we have a special name for it - scanziety!  You'll have many questions about his treatment and side effects and this is a good place to ask your questions. 
Stay the course. 
Tom

Are you sure it isn't 9mm or .9cm? Neither the CT nor the PET will confirm if the nodule is cancerous or benign. It may show "activity" in another part of the body that might heighten their suspicion. Depending where it is located, they may do a needle biopsy. If the PET reads clear, they might also suggest a resection of one lobe that would remove the single nodule. Or they may ask you to wait and scan again in 3 months to see if there are any changes before deciding what, if anything, to do. You should be hopeful that if everything else is clear, even if they are correct in their suspicion, you might be diagnosed at stage I which is curable by the method(s) you decide together. Until then, that's what it is..."suspicious". Let us know what else you learn.
Cindy

I would think only tissue samples would tell if they are in fact two different primary cancers or if one is a metastasis of the other.
just a thought,
Cindy

Welcome, Laura,
How was it confirmed to be malignant if you haven't had a biopsy yet? For now, I'm just saying we're here to support you. You are probably feeling quite overwhelmed and have a very busy week coming up. Please keep us updated as the results come in and as you decide on a treatment plan. 
 
Tom,
How can I find out more about the possibility of the SBRT for lung nodules you mentioned? 
Thanks,
Cindy

Laura,
Your fraternity analogy is spot on!
Ok - here are some suggestions.  Read this instead of looking at survival statistics (do listen to Gould's essay at the link).  If you've already researched survival statistics, discard the research. Steel yourself for treatment.  Here are some points to consider.  Steps 3 through 10 apply.  
If your tumors are located in both lungs and if they are small, I've been reading about some radio oncologists willingness to try Stereotactic Body Radiation Therapy (SBRT) to eliminate the tumors in each lung.  I had a type of SBRT called CyberKnife when tumors metastasized to my left lung after my right one was removed.  So, I'd ask about that possibility, depending on the PET and MRI results, of course.
Gould talks about the importance of attitude and I am a believer.  So while waiting for the remaining diagnostics, start working on that sanguine personality.  One more thing -- as you look around the site, you'll note a number of us are long time survivors of late stage lung cancer.  To that point, if we can live, so can you.
At least you have completed the fraternal initiation ritual.  As a full member, you'll now have lots of questions so fire away.
Stay the course.
Tom

I agree that your PCP is your health care advocate and should be able to expedite your diagnosis with the appropriate specialists. This is just my experience and my observations from posts by many other patients. I would go as directly as possible to the needle biopsy by an interventional radiologist. Of course, bronchoscope and needle biopsy do both depend to some extent on the location of the tissue to be sampled. I cannot tell you how many times I have read that someone's bronchoscopy reported either "inconclusive" or "no malignant cells". Mine was Sept. 30, but my final diagnosis by needle biopsies of both lungs wasn't made until Jan. and Feb. (stage IV).  It will ease your mind if it is negative, but if it is positive, you will still need to get to a medical/lung oncologist and complete the staging process. The scheduling and appointments is overwhelming on top of the devastating emotions and thoughts about the possibilities. We admit that it is difficult; we can say that because we have been there. We all hope and pray for the best possible outcome for you. The best advice you will get (and you will get it repeatedly) is that you have to be a proactive self-advocate. Please let us know if you make any progress next week.
cindy

Tom, as always, has given you a lot of good information to help bring some structure to your steps forward. We are all able to empathize, and there's always agreement that the initial diagnosis and staging and getting your treatment plan in place just adds to how overwhelming the thoughts and emotions are when you're probably still in some degree of disbelief about the whole situation. What additional information did your PET results provide that you didn't have in January. I too was diagnosed at stage IV and chemotherapy was my only option. We all have loved ones who are always first and foremost in our minds...both for them to understand, but also to protect them. But you used the word "fight" and ultimately it is your fight. Women, wives, moms, grandmas, etc. aren't accustomed to putting themselves first. It's okay to be more assertive and insist on your needs being met with your medical team.  Relationships and communication will settle down somewhat, but you need to know that there is hope, that many people have been successfully treated and are still living their lives with cancer and you can too! Please stay connected with us here. I know you will find it very supportive. 

Taxmeless, We understand your fear because we've all been there. My best advice for you in your situation is to try not to get ahead of what you know to be happening. In other words, things that can only be confirmed by biopsy or scan, and not everything you read online. The unknown and waiting can be the most difficult time, so try not to let mere possibilities make it even harder. It is correct that smaller nodules are below the resolution of PET, but the good news is probably that there was not visible uptake in any other parts of your body that would indicate metastatic disease. I have not heard that elevated calcium or liver enzymes are indicators that cancer cells have already entered your bloodstream. In fact, I was diagnosed with stage IV (metastatic) NSCLC adenocarcinoma over two years ago, and my levels have always been within normal ranges. Your next procedure should probably be a chest CT scan with contrast that is able to detect whether there are more nodules, even as small as 2-3 mm, in the same lobe, any of your other lung lobes or in any lymph nodes. Always remember going forward that each of us is different, and our sharing our experiences does not mean you will have the same findings or diagnosis.  I had two needle biopsies after the "standard" 90-day wait and see because my CT scan showed multiple solid nodules and ground glass opacities in both lungs and consolidation (that looked like infection). Both were positive. I am glad that the use of low dose CT scans for folks at risk for lung cancer are becoming more widely used and are both detecting cancers early and concluding some suspicious nodules to be benign. I am only guessing that your use of "wedge biopsy" means that someone has suggested that if indeed the 8 mm nodule turns out to be the only one you have and has increased in size to 9 mm, for example, that they take a small wedge of that lobe and then, of course, biopsy the nodule within it.  Depending where it is located, a thoracic surgeon (interventional radiologist or oncologist) may be able to do a needle biopsy. My largest right lung nodule was also only 8mm but was behind a rib and breast tissue, but they were able to get enough to conclude the tissue was the same as the left lung biopsy which was clearly adenocarcinoma. I'm not personally a fan of the wait and see, but you must be about half way through the 90-days by now. So, I would have your PCP schedule, minimally, a consultation with either a pulmonologist (I'd have skipped that myself, but hindsight is 20/20) or thoracic surgeon and a chest CT with IV contrast and proceed from there.  I never mean to overwhelm a "Newbie" who, by definition, is already sufficiently overwhelmed, but we do want to allay your fears and give you some hope. Always have hope. Please let us know how things are going.

Taxmeless, We understand your fear because we've all been there. My best advice for you in your situation is to try not to get ahead of what you know to be happening. In other words, things that can only be confirmed by biopsy or scan, and not everything you read online. The unknown and waiting can be the most difficult time, so try not to let mere possibilities make it even harder. It is correct that smaller nodules are below the resolution of PET, but the good news is probably that there was not visible uptake in any other parts of your body that would indicate metastatic disease. I have not heard that elevated calcium or liver enzymes are indicators that cancer cells have already entered your bloodstream. In fact, I was diagnosed with stage IV (metastatic) NSCLC adenocarcinoma over two years ago, and my levels have always been within normal ranges. Your next procedure should probably be a chest CT scan with contrast that is able to detect whether there are more nodules, even as small as 2-3 mm, in the same lobe, any of your other lung lobes or in any lymph nodes. Always remember going forward that each of us is different, and our sharing our experiences does not mean you will have the same findings or diagnosis.  I had two needle biopsies after the "standard" 90-day wait and see because my CT scan showed multiple solid nodules and ground glass opacities in both lungs and consolidation (that looked like infection). Both were positive. I am glad that the use of low dose CT scans for folks at risk for lung cancer are becoming more widely used and are both detecting cancers early and concluding some suspicious nodules to be benign. I am only guessing that your use of "wedge biopsy" means that someone has suggested that if indeed the 8 mm nodule turns out to be the only one you have and has increased in size to 9 mm, for example, that they take a small wedge of that lobe and then, of course, biopsy the nodule within it.  Depending where it is located, a thoracic surgeon (interventional radiologist or oncologist) may be able to do a needle biopsy. My largest right lung nodule was also only 8mm but was behind a rib and breast tissue, but they were able to get enough to conclude the tissue was the same as the left lung biopsy which was clearly adenocarcinoma. I'm not personally a fan of the wait and see, but you must be about half way through the 90-days by now. So, I would have your PCP schedule, minimally, a consultation with either a pulmonologist (I'd have skipped that myself, but hindsight is 20/20) or thoracic surgeon and a chest CT with IV contrast and proceed from there.  I never mean to overwhelm a "Newbie" who, by definition, is already sufficiently overwhelmed, but we do want to allay your fears and give you some hope. Always have hope. Please let us know how things are going.

Taxmeless,
Welcome here. A potential lung cancer diagnosis is frightening -- I've been there.  Cindy gave excellent advice and I agree with her discussion of PET and blood chemistry limitations on pinpointing metastatic disease.
If it were me, I'd press for a biopsy.  I'm glad your GP is taking an interest in your diagnosis.  Tell your doctor you are bothered by the 90-day wait and see if you can get to a pathology diagnosis via an accelerated biopsy.  Your GP might consider a thoracic surgeon consultation and I'd let the surgeon make the needle biopsy -- VAT wedge call.  A pathology determination is required in any event because if you have metastatic disease, knowing the type of lung cancer is essential before a treatment plan can be designed.
That said, I'd take some comfort in your zero uptake from your PET - CT scan.  
Now, some thoughts on doom and gloom.  Any probable cancer diagnosis is not a cause for celebration but by your description, your symptoms constitute an early find.  The low dose CT did exactly what was intended: set the condition for an early diagnosis and a easier treatment path.  I trust you've stopped smoking.  I say that not to preach but because I've known people who've gone through treatment and continued to smoke.  Their side-effects experience from chemo and radiation were almost unbearable.  If you have a VAT resection, you'll likely have post surgical chemo and surgical recovery complicated by chemo and smoking become a bridge too far.
Again, from your description of CT results, if you have lung cancer you are likely to stage at I or II.  Many of us here have late stage diagnosis and are still here.  So, if we can live, so can you.
My GP took a very active role in my treatment and I'm happy to learn your's appears to be also engaged.  Use your GP to advocate for an accelerated pathology determination by either biopsy or VAT resection.  Then, we'll know what we are dealing with.  That is what I'd do.
Stay the course.
Tom

Hi,
I also had a small nodule(mixed groundglass and solid) and a 90 day wait. Something was there, and VERY slow growing.  Then a PET scan in which nothing lit up. I understand that because PETs show metabolism, slow growing cancers sometimes don't register on them. Because of where mine was, a biopsy couldn't be done without taking it out, and a wedge resection wasn't feasible because of where it was in relation to the blood supply in the lung. So I had a right lower lobectomy by VATs. There was an adenocarcinoma  (1.5 cm.)that came out with clean margins. Mediastinal lymph nodes were taken out also and were negative. So it was stage 1a. I had a  fairly quick recovery from surgery, and I don't need any further treatment at this time, just regular CT surveillance to watch for possible recurrence.  
About your fear of doom and death: Of course you're scared- it's normal to be scared with a possible cancer diagnosis. You're facing a lot of uncertainties. But that's different than being doomed. My situation was similar to yours and I don't feel doomed at all. I'm optimistic about living a good life for many more years . We're all headed for death, whether we have cancer or not. I don't think Im headed there vey fast, and I think you can realistically be hopeful that you aren't either. 
I like Tom G's suggestion about a thoracic surgeon consultation. I was seeing both a pulmonologist and a thoracic surgeon and found it helpful in understanding what was going on in my lung.  
Hang in there!
 

Taxmeless, We understand your fear because we've all been there. My best advice for you in your situation is to try not to get ahead of what you know to be happening. In other words, things that can only be confirmed by biopsy or scan, and not everything you read online. The unknown and waiting can be the most difficult time, so try not to let mere possibilities make it even harder. It is correct that smaller nodules are below the resolution of PET, but the good news is probably that there was not visible uptake in any other parts of your body that would indicate metastatic disease. I have not heard that elevated calcium or liver enzymes are indicators that cancer cells have already entered your bloodstream. In fact, I was diagnosed with stage IV (metastatic) NSCLC adenocarcinoma over two years ago, and my levels have always been within normal ranges. Your next procedure should probably be a chest CT scan with contrast that is able to detect whether there are more nodules, even as small as 2-3 mm, in the same lobe, any of your other lung lobes or in any lymph nodes. Always remember going forward that each of us is different, and our sharing our experiences does not mean you will have the same findings or diagnosis.  I had two needle biopsies after the "standard" 90-day wait and see because my CT scan showed multiple solid nodules and ground glass opacities in both lungs and consolidation (that looked like infection). Both were positive. I am glad that the use of low dose CT scans for folks at risk for lung cancer are becoming more widely used and are both detecting cancers early and concluding some suspicious nodules to be benign. I am only guessing that your use of "wedge biopsy" means that someone has suggested that if indeed the 8 mm nodule turns out to be the only one you have and has increased in size to 9 mm, for example, that they take a small wedge of that lobe and then, of course, biopsy the nodule within it.  Depending where it is located, a thoracic surgeon (interventional radiologist or oncologist) may be able to do a needle biopsy. My largest right lung nodule was also only 8mm but was behind a rib and breast tissue, but they were able to get enough to conclude the tissue was the same as the left lung biopsy which was clearly adenocarcinoma. I'm not personally a fan of the wait and see, but you must be about half way through the 90-days by now. So, I would have your PCP schedule, minimally, a consultation with either a pulmonologist (I'd have skipped that myself, but hindsight is 20/20) or thoracic surgeon and a chest CT with IV contrast and proceed from there.  I never mean to overwhelm a "Newbie" who, by definition, is already sufficiently overwhelmed, but we do want to allay your fears and give you some hope. Always have hope. Please let us know how things are going.

Sydney,
I am sorry for the reason for your Google search, but I am glad you found us. Your story has remarkable similarities to mine in terms of the consolidation, being asymptomatic, treatment for infection, repeat imaging, bronchoscopies, pulmonologist, thoracic surgeon and biopsies ending with a diagnosis of stage IV NSCLC adenocarcinoma. The difference is that was almost three years ago when I was almost 30 years older than you. You sound like you have "accepted" the medical situation and have already donned your "determined" patient hat. I had to laugh at my first meeting with my oncologist when he said that one of the things I had going for me was that I am in excellent health! It really does help as does staying active and social. I am glad you have a mutation that has a targeted therapy. That certainly eliminates trying to make sitting in an infusion suite all day part of your new normal. Does Howard's teaching hospital have a cancer center? You also referred to your oncologist positively which is crucial. You will have the support and resources of already being affiliated with the hospital, but that one key relationship is crucial; you're putting your life in her hands and you should feel that you can trust her implicitly. Which medication will you take? Tarceva? When will you be starting it? Please keep us posted here on how you are doing. Something tells me you're someone who is never going to give up. Always have hope.
Cindy


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Tom, as always, has given you a lot of good information to help bring some structure to your steps forward. We are all able to empathize, and there's always agreement that the initial diagnosis and staging and getting your treatment plan in place just adds to how overwhelming the thoughts and emotions are when you're probably still in some degree of disbelief about the whole situation. What additional information did your PET results provide that you didn't have in January. I too was diagnosed at stage IV and chemotherapy was my only option. We all have loved ones who are always first and foremost in our minds...both for them to understand, but also to protect them. But you used the word "fight" and ultimately it is your fight. Women, wives, moms, grandmas, etc. aren't accustomed to putting themselves first. It's okay to be more assertive and insist on your needs being met with your medical team.  Relationships and communication will settle down somewhat, but you need to know that there is hope, that many people have been successfully treated and are still living their lives with cancer and you can too! Please stay connected with us here. I know you will find it very supportive.