myagle2

I hear you, and I understand completely. Its very sad to be at this point. Hang in there! Mary

Val, I totally agree with Katie, "It is what it is, and if they want ya, they know where you are." If there is one very important thing I am now learning, is people who want to be in contact with you will, and those that just cant deal with things go into another catagory, not to say they dont care, just that they just dont know what to do or what to say, boy, do I know that one right now. Its very hard! Mary

Kelly, My husband did not want to talk about a feeding tube, no way. But we had to, and ya know what? There is nothing to it, and at least he is getting nurishment. Good luck to you! Mary

FIRST OFF, Thanks to all for your replys, they did help me.They have been called and will be here at 9 am to talk to us. I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT IT, however i feel I am doing the right thing. I have had in my lifetime a lot of things that I considered hard things to do, They were tiny in comparrison to this. By far this is the worst. I spoke to his onc. yesterday and he feels, it will be less than two months, and I will share this with no one but you. Mary

I think its time for hospice, yes, no, every one has their own opion about it, what am I to do? ALL treatment has stopped, I Know we are near the end, and I am trying to do it myself with the help of my children, and me and them working all full time jobs. IKnow we are getting very close, and today he has finally relented and said call them. Now I am the one holding back, Why? because every one has an ipion about hospice, some pro, some con. WHAT IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO, and why cant people shut up about the con? I guess I will just have to really start the process of making the decession within the next 24 hours. Please give me some pros, if you have them. Mary

Thanks all for your well wishes and thoughts. All is going ok with feedong tube, not so on Tuesday though. I was going by the guide line they sent home with me, and fed him too much and It came back up thriugh the night. Wow was I scared. He was sick! We are going much slower now, Got a script for reglain?? to help his stomack a bit. At this point we have a visiting nurse three times a week, not hospice yet. I must return to work on Monday, so I need help from the kids, nurse, etc. I cant have a leave untill all my vacations are used, and I have 4 weeks, so we shall try working next week and wee shall see. He is unable to take anything by mouth. He has a fetenyl patch, 75 mg to help with pain in leg (numerous blood clots), and head, seems to be working pretty good. Its a handfull, but he is helping me all he can. Thanks again. Mary

All is going as good as it should be, feeding tube is nothing, fighting on on doing it as often as we should is yet another issue. He feels it is too much of my time, yea, thats just him.!He has "numerous" blood clots in the leg, which he says causes him much pain, when he moves.other than that, his color is better, and we are moving on. And yet, he really doesnt want to, soooooo, Ill continue on, as it should be, he is very unsure how far he wants to go, so we shall see. Thanks a ton, Mary

Iam home tonight, feeding tube inserted, all is well for tonight. Tomorrow I will learn all that needs to be so I can get him home, That at this point is the most important thing. Mary Oh my god, I hate this, please, please, take him quickly if you have to!

I understand completely, I miss my husband also, my kids miss their father, their grandfather, I have to be the strong on, because quite frankly , right now they can not, I understand everything you are right now, and sometimes I just dont want to be that person, It hurts, beyond explanation, Iam soo sorry, where in Pa do you live? I live in Sunbury, (hick town) Mary

My last post was days ago. So much has happened that I cant begin to describe it all.I LAST POSTED IN NSCLC, and the problems were numerous. My husband, Danny, has not taken food in for two weeks, many of you advised me to get that feeding tube, asap. You were all right. We received the results from the ct scan today, tumors pressing on mussels, and on and on. Its been a very long day, admit him to the er, and the doctor can insert the feeding tube tomorrow, shortest way possible, started out at 330 pm to the er, and 10 00 now finally getting home. Not any hope left, complaining of leg pain, did a sonagram, numerous blod clot in the legs, on a fetenal patch for pain in the head, and on and on. They are going to put the feeding tube in tomorrow am. What a total nightmare. Hospice? definately suggested, I dont know, I dont know anything tonight, I have three children, 35, 33, and 28, the last one being at home due to her needing to help us. We shall see tomorrow. Thanks for all your support. Mary

First off, thanks for all the replys. Feeding tube, yes it was discussed with me, with the surgeon who did the gi series. I talked about it with my husband, telling it would only be temporary. He is very resistant, to say the least. The surgeon said he saw no visable tumors, just stomach ulsers, hiatal hernea, and asid refluz. This has his esophugus enflamed. On the other test that they did on tuesday was an xray while he was swallowing. Very interesting to watch. Where most peoples mussle at the back of throat opens to let food pass through, his is only opening a tiny, tiny bit, the rest backs up, and sits at the side till he swallows again, hence he has to swallow numerous times for it to pass through. Pills come right back up, so he is off all medication right now. (that cant be good!) He had a cat scan on thursday, and that was horrible till he got all that liquid down! So thursday we will get the results. They are thinking that these mussels have been damaged from the radiation. Till then, he is on baby food, ensure, milkshakes, etc. Its hard, just trying to get through till thursday. Thanks again all, Mary

Iam still an infant in posting, but the things that are happening so fast are enormous. My husband can not swallow, so we go for a gi series, stomach olsers, blah, blah, ok, no food going down. another test while he is swallowing, his mussels are not opening to allow the liquid, or anthing else to go , but a triccle, ok now what. dirnk a sip, then swallow, swallow, and swalle again. Just to get an ensure down takes at leat an hour. give him baby food, i small jar takes an hour. Oh my god, the weight is coming off like you would not believe. Fast foward, ct scan scheduled, how will he drink all that? 3/15 It takes hours for the scan, cause he cannot get it down. He is home now, what an awfull day, no food, unable, 1 ensure, and 1 morfine tablet because he is holding his head again. He never takes the morphine, he hate it, it bindes him up. He tolf me he is sick of being sick. I have just about had enough of him being sick of being sick. This is horrible!

absolutly I can get mfla but do I want to go with nopay? no I can not, not right now. Mary

I DID infact call his oncoligist, but he is STILL on vacation, wow what a surprize. Ill try tomorrow, hope to get some sucess. He is having trouble swallowing again, that really scares me! Mary

Thanks all! I have decided to call the doctor on Monday! Mary

Hi again, Dont post much, as you can see by my profile, but I am absolutely here every single day, no matter what. My husband, Danny, is stage 4 non cell, and has been through it all.He has brain mets, 2 blood clots, one in the leg,( they put an umbrella in) and the other in the lung, stable I guess, I say i guess, because I try to make all his appointments, but I do still have to be at work most of the time, because my insurance says I have to lol!So I dont get to hear what I should some of the time. I so appreciate what you all have taught me. I totally feel we are on the down hill slide of all this, and hope you will pray for us, as I do the same for all you. Thamks Mary

That was increcedable!

I agree with katie, bait and switch come on, Whats up? Mary you are overdue!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Jen, Wow I could have wrote your post. Like Kathy (hi Kathy!), I come here every single day, no matter what. I have learned so very much here, its one of the things that keeps me going every day. I often think, " why dont i post every day? ". Unknown to me, but I think of you all all the time. So dont feel bad, you certainly are not alone, lol! Mary

Hi, Dont worry, my husband had EXTREME fatigue on alimta! It was really bad about 3 days in! Mary Hope hes feelin better soon!

Thanks a lot eppie, my next question would be, why prescripe it when he is trying to eat and drink, is it a desperate responce to make him eat???? He has lost alot of weight, but I always try to make him a good meal (in between working), Iam just curious on opinions, as my husband does not share his visit info unless I am there!!!!! Mary

My husband was just given a prescription for this, not being with him at the time, I understand it is to stimulate the appetite ( he has a problem eating), no apetite, he drinks 1 ensure daily but his weight is droping dramatically in the last month, any feedback would be appreciated.! Mary

You know, Iam not close to you , but I know what you know, so I guess Iam close, Hi My name is Mary, and what ever your situation is, it must be close to mine. my hsband has stage 4, its ugly, and every day is ugly. But I try, god do i try, every single day, mary

Hi, My name is Mary, and I need some one or many someones to talk to, I feel I will soon explode. My husband, Danny, was given his diagnosed with stage 4 in sept of 04, gone through many many chemos, the last being altima, now avistin, with others, including zemetra?? for his bones. Its awfull, I feel guilty about going to work every day, but YOU know I have to, cause heis on my insurance now, after 35 years on the same job, he lost his insurance, long story, thats the way it is. I have come to this site daily since then, hardly ever posting( hard for me). I now see myself where Carleen was, not long ago, and I am struggling just to get up and go to work, (I know I have to, how will he survive if I dont provide for him??) Oh my god, will I ever have a companion again?, what is he thinking if I am thinking the worst? Sorry that this is so long, there is soooo much more, and Iam needing some one to talk to. Mary

Carleen, I come here every single day, yet never post, its just too hard, as I am in the midst of what you had. I am so sorry for your loss, many prayers coming for you. Mary