Christine808

An up-date is in order.  We have decided over some long and heartfelt conversations that at this time it is best that I go to care for my father in Idaho long term.  It is evident that he needs more direct care and ongoing support, this no longer feasible with intermittent stays with inconsistency in providers.  We have all rallied to do this in the best way we could at the time.  This means I will live at Dad’s place and my own family will have to carry on without me.  I have an incredibly wonderful husband and two teenage daughters.  This will be a great test for all of us, yet we agree that it is necessary.  We are all willing to do what is necessary even if it’s not our first choice option.  Along this uncertain path we will keep close, open communication and re-evaluate as needed.   
 
Dad has suffered a couple of setbacks with the Tarceva; GI distress and nausea, primarily.  At his last doctor visit he had lost another ten pounds and was ordered to cease Tarvceva for a two-week period.  His oncologist hopes to achieve restoration of his appetite and relief of the GI issues while re-gaining some weight. When he is seen again they will evaluate if he will go back onto Tarceva.
 
He did get the bed elevated to an incline, Yay!
 
I found a great resource for revealing cancer on social media.  My great dear friend sent this along, http://www.fredhutch.org/en/news/center-news/2016/01/coming-out-with-cancer-disclosing-diagnosis.html
 
I’m immensely grateful for my family and the closeness we share for their unwavering support and for the community here; your expertise and empathy are a great comfort. 

We have had a few bumps in the road since dad started the Tarceva.  He was treated at the E.R. for dehydration on Dec. 27.  I have traveled to Idaho again to care for him.   He is not receiving the kind of care that is needed and this is mostly due to the fact that my Stepmother has Alzheimer’s.  This has been a concern from the beginning, what occurred was my worst fear and yet, I wanted to respect the boundaries of their relationship and independence and monitor the situation.   When I arrived he was in poor condition being weakened from the radiation and some side affects of Tarceva.  He was not wanting to eat and not being offered nutritionally sound foods.  I have been here a week now and he has made great strides.  I implemented a meal plan that accounts for his poor appetite getting him better food more frequently is helping immensely. 
 
I have taken him to the Cancer Center twice now and the team there is amazing.  I hold such gratitude for their compassion and care.  My sister will relieve me and then my stepsister will arrive to get more direct care for her mother.  We continue to keep our hopes high and work well together.  Our family is incredibly blessed!
 
I have a few little battles with Dad and his big man ego. 
1) He refused to utilize a riding cart when going to the market.  However, yesterday he was so courageous and put his pride aside and got on with what needed to be done. He owned that cart!
2) Purchased a Wedge pillow to assist with better sleep and he won’t use that, yet.  Suggestions?
3) He finally agreed to get a mentor and that is huge I just hope he utilized the wealth of knowledge.
4) He wants to “come-out” on social media and told me he doesn’t know how.  Suggestions?
 
Thanks all and many blessing to you!

Aloha,
 
Dad's mutation was identified and as he is EFGR+ he began Terceva two days ago.  His spirits remain high and we are learning to cope with this new normal.  
 
Hope the Holidays are good to all!
 
-Christine

Tom,
Yes, the radio oncologist recommending that the sites in his lung, brain, and bone be radiated. He got the tattoos Wednesday and will begin therapy on Monday.
I relayed your recommendations for, test driving the wedge pillow. He had started shopping on Amazon, so he was very thankful for this good advice.
The best part of our conversation yesterday, was heading how positive he is about the pl.an for treatment, that his team believes that his cancer it treatable and he will have more quality time. With that said he told me of his plans for the future which include getting his Idaho camping permit, because there are trips he wants to take and things he wants to see. I'm so grateful for this.
Aloha,
Christine

Linda,
 
You are a grown woman and have every right to feel frightened.  I'd suggest that you find out what side affects you should prepare for.  My dad is about to begin his treatment and we are setting him up with what he might need to get through each step.  Do something kind for yourself and know that there is support.
 
I wish you well,
Christine 

Christine,
 
Wonderful news!  Have him plan a hike to Atlanta, Idaho and pan for gold!  I did that in my younger years and even found some gold.  Found more trout in the rivers.  Hope he is a fly-fisherman; the fishing in Idaho is superb!  If he's getting a permit he is likely heading to the Sawtooth Forrest Wilderness area.  
 
I'd be doing some online searching and find him links about panning for gold and wildlife in the Sawtooth.  That would amp his interest level for the vacation and give him something productive to do while he's in treatment.
 
Stay the course.
 
Tom

Christine and Marie, 
Thank you for continuing to update us. I am so glad that you are getting some answers and feel better about your Dad's new treatment center. 
 
I look forward to continuing to get to know you,
Cindy

Christine808 and Migates,
I am truly sorry to hear that your father has cancer. Glad to hear you have found supportive health professionals and they are moving quickly.
Even if you father cannot be part of a study due to the spread, there are some new immunotherapy options that have already been approved by the FDA, depending of course on the type of cancer and the specific DNA of same.
We lost my mother to NSCLC this month, distance of family was an issue for us too. I'm glad you have both been able to see and spend time with your father, to lend that support that I'm sure he appreciates right now.
Your father sounds like a fighter. I know that will help not just him, but you two also.
My thougts are with you.
Mary

Thank you all for the insightful and compassionate feed back.  I am moving this conversation over to the a more appropriate forum.  
Tom, Thank you for the great advice and encouragement.
Marie, welcome I love having your here.  Our family is the foundation to helping each other through this incredible journey.
 
Mahlao and Aloha~
 
Chrisitne

Thank you all for the insightful and compassionate feed back.  I am moving this conversation over to the a more appropriate forum.  
Tom, Thank you for the great advice and encouragement.
Marie, welcome I love having your here.  Our family is the foundation to helping each other through this incredible journey.
 
Mahlao and Aloha~
 
Chrisitne