Hi Renee,
First, please accept my sympathy on the loss of your beloved dad. I can feel the love you have for your dad in your carefully worded posting. Unfortunately, I can relate to your story, a lot. I just lost my dad on February 4, 2016 to NSCLC. He was diagnosed in May, 2015. I am 37 years old and have two boys. Ethan who is 5 and Liam who is 2. Ethan turned 5 two days before my dad passed, and I firmly believe my dad waited for that. I am definitely a daddy's girl and share a lot of your feelings, especially the part about grieving the grandpa part. In addition to my mom, I have a sister who also has 3 daughters. One of her daughters recently had a daughter. Me, like I said, I have two boys, and oh, how my dad was excited to finally have some boys in the family. I feel cheated out of all the things he was supposed to do with them and all the things he was to teach them.
I, too, have heard from people I was lucky to have my father as long as I did, but that doesn't take away my feelings that I wanted him here longer. Please, do not feel selfish for grieving this loss. You deserved more. Much more.
I wish my words alone could help you heal, but that isn't going to happen. Quite frankly, I just recently started feeling a little less numb to the situation, which has brought on a couple days of really hard grief. I just wanted to drop in and offer some support to you and let you know that you are not alone. I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts. I hope for a speedy and healthy delivery for you and know that your dad is proud of you. Even if you can't see him, he will be with you on that day.
Take care,
Tina (Sending hugs from Chicago)
