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RuthieThomas

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Everything posted by RuthieThomas

  1. Hi Monica, As usual, I don't have any actual useful information, but just wanted to wish you the best & join you in hurrying Friday along. Prayers & peaceful thoughts going your way. Ruthie
  2. Kristy, I am so sorry you have been through one of the most difficult times I can imagine going through. I can only imagine the shock of losing your mom so quickly after her diagnosis. This is a good place to turn for many wise, caring people and many resources. I wish I were one of those wise people, but I am still trying to sort this out over 1 year post-diagnosis. I just wanted to express my condolences; I lost my mother almost 2 years ago and I still miss her every day, although the pain does become less acute with time. Please take care of yourself. Ruthie
  3. Cynde, Sounds like you are doing everything possible to be a supportive partner and I'm happy to see that you are seeing a therapist for yourself. Great news about the lung mass; savor your victories whenever you can! Ruthie.
  4. Cynde, Every cancer patient should be so blessed to have someone like you in their life. I am so sorry that the two of you are having to endure the seemingly unendurable. I have said before, and I still believe it, that being the caregiver is harder than being the patient. You have all the stress, worry and emotional pain, not to mention the physical toll to your body, and frequently not enough emotional support & sympathy from others since you are technically not the patient. It seems we humans often lash out at those closest to us...maybe because we subconciously feel we can get away with it with the person we trust the most to not leave us or strike back. It sounds as if you are doing everything humanly possible for your wife, and her medical team is doing their part to acheive the best possible outcome. Please don't forget to take care of yourself & try not to take her anger personally. I imagine she is mad as hell at cancer, the unfairness of it all and not at you. I hope you have some supportive people in your life who can be there for you. This is a good place to find empathy, much hard-earned wisdom as well as hope & encouragement. I wish I could just give you a big hug...a cyber-hug just isn't the same, but here's one anyway ((( ))). Best wishes...please keep up posted. Ruthie
  5. Hi Marc,

    I was thinking of you lately & wondering how things are going for you. Hadn't seen anything from you for a while & missing your infectious optimism & spirit. Hope all is well as can be.

    Ruthie

  6. Hi Monica! I can't add much to Tom & Martin's words of wisdom, but just wanted to let you know you are far from alone in feeling the way you do and that everyone who reads your words is pulling for you. I hope you're feeling better after getting started with treatment...I know that feeling like I was doing something to "fight" helped my mindset. I was diagnosed a little over a year ago w/stage IIIb inoperable adenocarcinoma & have had 1 recurrence since then. I was treated initially w/chemoradiation (no mutations for me, unfortunately), then surgery on my axillary lymph nodes & more radiation. I finished treatment in May or June and have noticed feeling sort of lost; like I'm not in warrior mode any longer and don't know how to feel! I try awfully hard to follow Tom's advice, but I think we all have our times when we are just overwhelmed with sadness & helplessness. I allow myself to have a "pity party" every once in a while and get it over with. I hope you aren't blaming yourself for having this awful disease. As a former smoker, I understand the feeling, but non-smokers get this nasty stuff, too, and most smokers get away without it! My Mom & Dad both smoked: he died at age 46 of lung cancer & she died at 92 of heart failure still smoking like a chimney! You've come to the right place...there is a lot of caring and wisdom to be found. I wish you the best; please keep up updated. Ruthie
  7. Sounds like a GREAT report, Sherie! Enjoy! Ruthie
  8. Hi Donna! Sorry this is so late, but I check in so erratically that I miss a lot! Happy, happy belated birthday! My perspective on getting older has certainly changed since my diagnosis...congratulations on one more year of life! You are an inspiration to me. Ruthie
  9. Mike, Nothing is stupid about asking questions when you are scared to death you have lung cancer. I wish I had some helpful information for you, but I've never been to a pulmonologist; I was "unofficially" diagnosed in the ER & went straight to an oncologist. Hopefully, someone who has experience w/ a pulmonary doc will be able to answer your question. Just wanted to wish you well & hope things turn out better than you expect! Good luck on Saturday. Ruthie
  10. Hi Randi I was so happy to read your latest post that your loved one is getting the care he needs in terms of medicine. He obviously is getting invaluable love & support from you, and is very lucky to have someone like you in his corner. Here's hoping that things continue to get better for both of you. Please take care of yourself. Wishing you all the best! Ruthie
  11. Hi Yovana! I am also a newbie to this community, although I was diagnosed one year ago today. I'm not normally a "joiner" & hadn't explored the support groups offered locally, but have found much information, understanding & support from the wonderful group of people here who are ready, willing & able to help in any way they can. Glad that your cancer was found when it was and you were able to have the VATS procedure; everything sounds great! Take care of yourself and please keep posting! Wishing you all the best. Ruthie
  12. Hi Stacy, Just read your post and am so sorry to read of your mother's diagnosis. I was diagnosed almost one year ago with inoperable stage IIIB adenocarcinoma and am about your mother's age (I'll be 59 next month).I was also treated with Carboplatin and Taxol plus radiation, and was really down & out for several months. I haven't had any further treatment since May, and am feeling much better, so part of her decline in well-being could be side effects of her treatment. I wish I had something more to offer other than my prayers for you & your Mom. The treatment can be really rough & I, personally, think it would be harder to watch your loved one go through it than to be the patient. I think scared, depressed, confused and angry sounds pretty normal considering the situation you are in. There is a lot of good information about lung cancer, as well as people who have inspirational stories of living with cancer. You've come to the right place. Have you asked her doc about palliative care? I always sort of equated that with hospice and thought it was something only for people who were at death's door, but it is more about getting the most quality of life possible while living with cancer, not just for the dying. I hope you are taking care of yourself and aren't having to go through this alone. I'm sorry I don't have more to offer, but I just wanted you to know that I will keep you & your Mom in my prayers and I wish you peace as you travel this difficult road. Ruthie
  13. I love this...it puts into succinct words what I have been trying to do "get busy living"! I realize, with a late-stage diagosis & one recurrence already, that my long term prognosis is not great. I don't have any control over how long I have left, but, right now, I have total control over how I choose to spend it. After healing from nasty radiation burns, I have gone indoor sky-diving (basically a vertical wind tunnel) w/my daughters & grandkids, ridden dirt bikes with the younger boys & am going to their house this afternoon to fulfill my promise of trying to do a flip on their trampoline...if cancer doesn't get me soon, the grandkids "ideas" just might! You have a gift, Tom, thanks so much for sharing it with us. Ruthie
  14. Meloni, First of all, congrats on the completion of your surgery! I wanted to address to "boundaries" issue with you. It sounds as if you are one of those people who puts others needs before your own, which can be a beautiful thing, but I feel that there are times when you and your wishes should come first & in my opinion, this is one of those times. I hope you can get through to your MIL that, although you appreciate her offer, that chemo is easier for you to get through when you're alone. I was that way...I always had a great nap & didn't want anyone there who I felt I had to "entertain"! Perhaps you could suggest that your MIL help in a different way (grocery shop, cook dinner, clean your bathroom), to be helpful, although, forgive me for being blunt, it sounds as if she wants to make herself feel better first & you come in second. By all means, tell your husband that you would rather not have MIL with you during chemo; he needs to back you up on this. You have a big enough battle against cancer without also having to battle "helpful" family members also. If MIL gets mad, she'll get over it. Please don't take on her problem & feel any guilt whatsoever...if one of you has to feel upset right now, bettter it be her than you! As far as the teenager; good luck! I know they can be pretty self-absorbed.If no one else is putting Meloni first right now, then you need to. Please take care of yourself and hang in there! I hope I've not offended you with my bluntness, I tried to be diplomatic, lol! Ruthie
  15. Thanks so much, Julie! Praying for you as you begin your journey; I really believe you've been led to a good place here. I have found so much inspiration as well as information & practical advice. There seems to always to be someone who offers exactly what you may be needing at any particular moment. Ruthie
  16. Bruce, Yay! Congratulations on the good news! It just doesn't get much better than that. I'll be finding out tomorrow about the scan I had on Monday; the last one showed that my lung had collapsed again (only a mucus plug), so I'm hoping the lung is back & fingers crossed for no nasty surprises. Happy for you! Ruthie
  17. Hi Lauren, Appreciate your kind words. I will keep checking regularly; I always come away with something positive. I go to the oncologist tomorrow to find out the results of the CT scan I had done on Monday...hopefully my lung is back and no nasty surprises! So far, though, I am grateful that, even when the results haven't always been great, there has always been, so far, a way to treat the complication & get back on track. Again, thanks for the good thoughts...glad you guys are here! Ruthie
  18. Thank you, Tom. I must tell you that you are somewhat of a celebrity at our house...we have a 34-year-old daughter who, due to a brain injury, functions at about a 6 year old level. She was, understandably terrified by my diagnosis. Since finding this site, I keep telling her about you with close to the same diagnosis still thriving after 12 years. It has really gotten through to her & she asks about your regularly. This is one of those times that you have a great positive effect in people's lives that you aren't even aware of! I always enjoy reading your posts...keep up the good work!
  19. Greetings! I just recently came across your website & have found it very therapeutic to read of other's journeys and stories of survival as well as learning of the challenges along the way. I was diagnosed in August 2015 with stage IIIb inoperable adenocarcinoma of the left lung, which had completely collapsed. I was treated with Carboplatin/Taxol while receiving 33 radiation treatments to which I had a positive response. Unfortunately, in March, it was found in my axillary lymph nodes, for which I had surgery and 27 more radiation treatments. Went for a routine CT scan in May, and found that my left lung had again collapsed. Of course, I was positive there was another big old tumor in there, but a bronchoscopy found a mucous plug and a little weird-looking area (probably from radiation) that a needle biopsy showed no evidence of disease. I'll have my next scan on Monday; hopefully this time I'll get good news and go back to normal surveillence. This cancer stuff is certainly a rollercoaster! I want to thank everyone who has shared their triumphs & tragedies, helpful advice, coping methods and very good advice about LIVING with cancer. One great positive that I totally did not expect was getting rid of my (fake) blonde hair...I loved being bald (I am a tad weird, I guess!) except for the loss of insulation during the winter! I'm now rocking a gray (I call it silver) mini-mohawk and may never have hair longer than an inch or so again...what a relief! No wonder you guys can get ready to go so much faster than us...I love skipping the blowdryer, curling iron, styling stuff, hairspray (I could go on, but I won't); what freedom! Thanks again to everyone who has shared; it has already helped me a lot & I'll continue to check in. Ruthie
  20. I actually believe that this process is harder on the patient's loved ones than it is on the patient.It is a terrible feeling to want so badly to do something to fix this for them and to feel absolutely helpless and at a loss of what to do or where to start. It sounds to me as if you are doing all that is humanly possible; caring for and loving him. I don't know how you feel about support groups, but some find it helpful to talk to others in the same position. It breaks my heart to sense the terror & confusion in your words and I think it's natural for your mind to go to the worst case scenario at times, but there are many treatments available & more on the horizon. After the initial shock kind of wears off, it does get better. I also think that people react differently and you feel how you feel; I don't know that there is a "normal" way to deal with cancer. My family & I have found it helpful to try to be as open & honest about our feelings, which vary at times from terror to anger to determination to even laughter about things most people wouldn't find funny. I hope you have some supportive people in your life with which to share your feelings...this is always a good place to find people who really do understand. Cancer sucks for sure...please keep us posted and I hope you find your peace...don't be so hard on yourself;we are all only human, after all. You'll be in my thoughts. Hang in there, you'll find your way.
  21. Hi Randi...So very sorry to read of your loved one's diagnosis; I know what a shock that is. I wish I had some magic words to make it all better, but I haven't found them yet myself! As far as finances for treatment, my advice would to be to consult with his health care provider; they should have a social worker who can help with this part. I wish you all the best; a lot of people have beat this awful disease. I was diagnosed in August of last year & honestly thought I'd be dead by now, but I'm still alive & kicking! Take care of yourself, pace yourself...this will be a marathon & a rollercoaster. Best wishes & peaceful thoughts! Ruthie
  22. Marc SO happy to learn of your good news! Wishing you all the best! Ruthie
  23. Marc; So sorry to read of your recent diagnosis, you & your family will be in my prayers. I just wanted to tell you how inspired I was by your attitude & determination...those attributes will serve you well along the journey ahead. I was diagnosed in August 2015 w/inoperable stage IIIb adenocarcinoma, have had chemo, radiation, surgery (lymph node involvement) & more radiation, but am still in the fight. I am new to this site myself, but have found much good information as well as inspiration already, but was moved to tears reading your post. Love your attitude and the fact that, in the midst of your own crisis, you are already reaching out to help others. I am looking forward to reading of your progress & ultimate triumph! Thanks for the boost. Ruthie
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