spazzums

You guys have some wonderful and positive advice to offer! I will have to tell my MIL about this site, maybe it will help her. As for all the questions, let's see if I can answer them: They did radiate the lesions in the brain. Initially, there were 3 of them. 2 have disappeared, but the 3rd did not respond and shifted and now grew. They were talking about the gamma knife when his behavior became very erratic and they couldn't get him calm enough to get an MRI. Everything with his treatment has been put on hold for the past 2 weeks as they get his behavior issues worked out. He meets with his Oncologist next week to determine IF more chemo will help or not, but they don't sound to optimistic and my FIL has pretty much given up hope. But I am going to ask about continuing the radiation. I think this might be one doctor's apt that I insist my husband or I attend. They did take him in for a CT scan and that is how they know that the cancer is everwhere. His psychiatrist told my MIL that postponing the chemo for another week won't hurt because the cancer is so far gone, she doesn't think it will make a difference. I almost feel as if we are being given the run around with a lot of this stuff. I don't know who to believe or even if my MIL is telling us the whole truth. I wish I could find out. And Terri, I wanted him to get his 2nd opinion from AGH because they come so highly recommended, but he insisted on sticking with UPMC because of his medical benefits. I also wanted to ask you if there are any support groups here in PGH that might be able to help us out? Thanks to all!

I wanted to thank you all for your care and concern! I just spoke to my MIL and from what she told me, the cancer is in pretty much every major organ of his body. We have to put him in an assisted living facility as his behavior is so very erratic and he needs constant 24 hour care. I really wish I could convince them to get a second opinion. This is something that I have placed great emphasis on since this started. But they just wont listen. I don't blame myself for it, I just feel absolutely horrible about it. Horrible that my husband has to watch this happen to his dad and he is absolutely powerless to do anything. We could have only days, maybe weeks, but no longer than 2-3 months. And the worst part of it is that he isn't even himself. We lost him a couple of weeks ago and now we are left with somthing that isn't even him. I appreciate your help, I just wish I could understand this better, I'm trying, places like this really help!

Thanks for being so understanding everyone. Reading back through my msg, I can see that I am not thinking too clearly right now. I have tried to encourage the family to get a second opinion. But they won't budge. They insist that he is being treated by the best Doctor's we have around. We live in Pittsburgh and he is working with a team from UPMC. It has been very difficult to get information from my Mother in Law or my husband. They just don't like to talk about stuff like this. It looks like my FIL will have to remain "in the system" and stay in a hospice or something like that, I guess that is what the social worker is recommending.

Please forgive me if I fumble for words or don't seem to explain clearly. This is my first experience with cancer. My father in law was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 months ago. I just found out last night that it is SCLC and that he is terminal. They have said he won't make it until July. My husband is devastated, the whole family is. When first diagnosed, my fil had a tumor in one lung and it had spread to the brain in the form of 3 lesions. The plan was to irradiate the lesions and treat with chemo. The prognosis wasn't good, but we thought that we had a fighting chance. My husband and I saw him a month ago, right after the first round of chemo (3 days of chemo, 4 days off) and he was doing so well. He didn't have any side effects and his appetite had returned in full. We felt so positive! 2 weeks later, as he was finishing up his 2nd week of chemo(he had a week off), he just went nuts. He became very violent and aggressive. We had been noticing slight changes in his behavior, but chalked it up to the steroids. He was hospitalized, they did a CT scan, which showed that 2 of the lesions had disappeared, the third had shifted to the frontal lobe, and they felt it was affecting his behavior. This was 2 weeks ago and he was sent to a psych ward until they could get a handle on his behavior. He has been in the ward for 2 weeks now and has not received chemo. Last night the Doctors told us there is no hope for him and they are sending him home so he can die there. I am so confused about this whole thing. About how this could just pop up and take this wonderful man in 2 months. He was in and out of the hospital about 8 months ago for a prostrate infection. The Doctor's say that there was no sign of the cancer then, but I don't know whether or not I believe them. Is it possible that they just didn't do the right types of tests? He smoked 2 packs a day for the last 30 years, why wouldn't they think to look for that. I am sorry that this is running on. I feel like I am dreaming. I don't know what to do. I have never been this confused in my life. Is there really no way to fight this?