rosegarden

you sound like an amazing sister god bless

Yes it will be a long time before LC loses its stigma, but hang in there: we are all with you and WE understand.

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so low, Joanie. Know that not everyone will work for a company that damages and ruins lives. You are not alone.

It's interesting that you mention you're not allowed supplements while on chemo. Is this because of the extra work your kidneys must perform?

The Corporation What a powerful, eye-opening film. I recommend it to anyone, except please bear in mind that it may affect your emotions. You can rent it at Blockbuster. Right now I am angry. I am angry because in the film we are reminded that 1 in 2 men, and 1 in 3 women will get cancer. It is suggested (and proven in some cases) that our environmental and other toxins, as a result of corporate irresponsibility and disregard for human safety, contribute to these high cancer rates. How many people have to die before we get control over our environment again? Before we force irresponsible companies to obey environmental laws? What can we do as consumers to not contribute to the rise in cancer? There are toxins in and as a result of the manufacturing of so many of the products we rely on for day-to-day living in western society. Cancer is such a horrible thing. I just wish there were more we can do, or not do, to help. Suggestions?

perhaps they should establish a new title for that sort of care hospice is set aside specifically to aid the dying. it's a very special and particular kind of love and care. i agree that there should be care for those still fighting, but i don't think that it should be hospice necessarily. perhaps a branch of hospice called soemthing different, with different procedures and focus.

I've been having trouble sleeping lately. Today my dad said, "you know, it's funny she's gone. Can you believe it? How can she be gone?": I think I've pushed it so far back in my head/heart to be able to get on with life, that when he mentions stuff like that it kind of shocks and surprises me. I KNOW she is gone but I don't think about it all the time. sometimes though i call the answering machine 'cause her voice is still on there, and i haven't heard her voice for about three months now

You sound like an amazing, caring, strong person. Such a wonderful daddy. I can't imagine what you are going through or how you feel. But it sounds like you will be okay. Just remember to take time for yourself and your emotions. You don't have to be "the strong one" ALL the time.

I would love something like this. My house is such a mess right now. It's like I don't care about anything. I'm starting to care just now (it's been two months) and there is a lot to catch up on. . .

The other night I dreamed I spoke to my mother on the phone. It was both soothing and terrifying. I hope to experience that again. I wonder whether that really was her "speaking" to me.

I clicked yes, but my yes answer means that I spoke, and have been speaking with, hospice counsellors, not therapists. And yes it helps.

Hi Lori, My heart goes out to you. Being there for your dad is so important. God bless you for being there. In Hospice the main goal is comfort, so make sure your dad is as comfortable as possible. As for the more direct question about hands and feet, here is my direct answer: I was with my mom 24 hours before she died and her hands and feet were still quite warm. Her breathing was rhythmic but not agitated. Everyone is different. I also completely understand and sympathise with your wanting to keep your dad alive but at the same time wishing him the comfort of passing. My mother was not able to communicate well for about a week before she died. She could hear us, and she knew we were there . . . I know this because although she could not talk, or even move towards the end, she responded to us.

Val, I don't know what to say to you other than I understand, and I hope that things get better. My mom didn't want to see anybody, either. I respected that she needed time to herself. When she was hospitalised it was the end so I was with her daily, but before that she didn't want any company at all. She was in too much pain. It was hard.

Hi Anais It's been one month since my mother died, and so I know how you felt after that first month. I too didn't cry *too* much in the first month but now it's a daily thing. I hate it. God bless all of you.

I am so sorry to hear about your father. Please accept my heartfelt condolences. God bless you and I'm glad he was there at your special day.

I think you did the right thing. I also think that we're all put together for a reason... it wasn't until my (late) mother was dx that I found out.. - my father-in-law's dad died of lung cancer - my mother-in-law's mother died of cancer - my boss's mother died of lung cancer - my friend's mom died of brain cancer - my brother-in-law's girlfriend's mom has lung cancer - my friend from TOPS's sister died of cancer - my female best friend's "second mom" died of cancer we are all put together for a reason...

lukiss, I'm so sorry you're going through this... I know how scary it can be. We are all here for you and we wish you all the comfort and support in the world. You are in my thoughts and prayers. To have someone as devoted and loving as yourself by his side, your father has been given a gift. I wish you comfort and strength during this time.

that poem is great, thanks for posting

Hi there, I'm sorry things aren't going well -- my father is very depressed as well (mom died on the 16th). Is your dad elderly? My grandma is experiencing little things which made us very worried about her: she'd forget things and get confused easier. She'd stop mid-sentence and forget what she was going to say. My husband's mother has worked with elderly people for over twenty years. She said that it's very normal for people to act this way, old and young alike, but especially with those 70+. That may not make you feel better but it's important to know a couple of things: that you're not alone, and that although it's difficult, try not to worry so much unless this continues for a great amount of time. That's what she said.

Hi, Anais. It's only been a week for me, but I'm sorry you're feeling so low. My thoughts are with you.

It's been a week, today. Because we're tight on money, and because my employers rely on me (there are only two employees) I am returning to work tomorrow. As you can see, it's almost midnight and I'm not in bed. I am full of anxiety and I just want to stay home or with my dad at his house and ... well I totally don't want to go back to reality. Reality without her. I don't know what that will mean for me and I'm pretty scared. What was it like when you returned to work? Were you anxious to get back or anxious because you DIDN'T want to get back? how did you deal with what people said to you? Sometimes I just want to cry when people talk about her. I work in a very close-knit community where everybody knows everybody.

My friend --I'll call her "S" --'s brother was stabbed last year. He died as a result from his injury, and he was only 22. A few months later, my other friend, "T" asked why "S" was so upset. My friend "C" said, um, because of her brother? "T" said, "Oh, THAT. I thought it was something new." Some people will NEVER "get it" when it comes to grieving.

hi, I hope things went okay. my thoughts are with you.

Thanks so much for your kind thoughts. It means a lot, especially from all of you who have posted in this thread and my other thread, because you know how lung cancer "is." My husband and I have been with my dad a lot. I don't think he's doing very well. But my brother hasn't even seemed to acknowledge (to us at least) my mom's death at all... ? It's strange. But I guess we all deal with it differently.

I get that one a lot. I know people mean well, but excuse me, I wish my mom had never suffered to begin with. She never did ANYTHING cruel to ANYONE.