MelanieLR

Hi Beth, So sorry for your discomfort. Seems I am finding myself in a similar state of being right now. I've been having trouble sleeping for 3 days now. I woke up at 2:00 am today with the WORST pain I've ever felt in my life in my knees & ankles. When I woke, I could barely move. I finally made my way to my cane & the toity. Then came the real fun. Get to the pain meds! It's now 4:00 am & the edge has barely broken on the pain. My husband & I are having some sort of crazy fight over my pain, I just don't get what's going on. Why can't he just leave me alone to grind my way through it? Yelling at me about it is certainly of no help. GEEZ! Well anyway, I hope you get some good sleep. Hugs & prayers, Melanie

Hi Bill, We just love to hear good news! Take all of it you can get. In the mean time, we'll all be praying for improvement on the negative issues. Melanie

Dear Barbara, Here come the prayers, Melanie

Dear Linda, I'm sure you know you are always welcome here. It is nice however not to need to be here. Just want you to know you will be in my thoughts & prayers, Melanie

Dear Leah, I'm so sorry you need to be here. It is however the BEST place to be. You just aren't going to find a better support system. Just know that every moment of every day, there is a whole gaggle of people here praying for you & your family & hoping to be of any kind of kelp we can for you. Hugs & prayers, Melanie

Dear Irene, My prayers are with you dear. Just know that soon he will be free of the pain. He will always be with you. Hugs & prayers, Melanie

Dear "A", God knows what a shock this is to anyone. The best you can do is to keep your faith that somehow there is a rhyme & reason to the universe. Just believe that God in His infinite wisdom will help guide you through. I know that can be so hard to believe right now when you are so angry with Him but that is the only way I can tell you that I have found the peace & serinity to get through this. You are in my prayers, Melanie

Hi Carls, I've had Gamma Knife on a total of 4 mets they have found in my brain. The procedure was done at University Hospitals of Cleveland, OH. They are the Primary Affiliate of Case western Reserve Universities. There was actually a team of specialists in on the procedure but the 2 primary ones were Dr. Douglas Einstein who is a Neurosurgeon & Dr. Robert who is a Radiation Oncologisy Specialist. The literature I have does not list a website but does have an 800 #. 1-800-552-8338. I had great success with the procedure on the first 2 tumors. I'm in the hurry up & wait mode on the second set of 2. They won't be able to tell me if that was successful till my June scans. Good luck & Prayers headed your way, Melanie

No personal experience with Tarceva but bunches of prayers headed your way, Melanie

Dear Rebecca, We're both sending prayers, Melanie & Gtrg

Holy cow, am I ever late today! 1.) Sleeping in! 2.) My sweet Irish Hubby! 3.) Bailies Irish Cream! 4.) Finger doesn't hurt! 5.) Almost finished with My Hubbies robe & he doesn't have a clue! Melanie

Dear Erica, As always, welcome to the place where nobody really wants to be but find it oh so helpful. I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. The long distance thing can be difficult on a family. Please don't hesitate to let us know if we can help in any way. That is what were here for even if it is only to lend an ear - we all have spectacular ears! Please know that you & your family will be in my prayers through your journey. Take care, Melanie

Dear Ali, Welcome to our little cluster of hugs & prayers. I wish you didn't need to be here but it's really a wonderful little family. As I'm sure you've noticed by now, the right attitude is so important. It sure sounds like you've got that beastie in the right place. One thing my husband has done to assist on occasion is to take a very small dose of valium. He really doesn't want to go the Xanax route & finds the valium will take just enough of the edge off when it gets to be a little too overwhelming. Please don't hesitate to let us know when you need ANYTHING. Be it info, a word from those who've "been there, done that" or even to just blow off a little steam. That's what were here for & we do it with joy that we might assist others through this most unwanted journey. We sure don't have all the answers but that common bond makes us a very formidable group to be reconed with! Well honey, you just keep that great attitude going & do all you can to adjust to "the waiting game" the stinkiest game in the world & one we always seem to be square in the middle of. My hugs & prayers are with you & your husband, Melanie

Dear Sharon, What a wonderful tribute & honor! I'll raise a little glass to him tomorrow. God Bless, Melanie

I'm so very happy for you. I hope you don't mind sharing your little blessing with us. You are both a very important part of our world. I know in the time to come, we'll all feel like such a big part of your beautiful family & that is such a great thing to share! May God bless your little hearts! Hugs, Melanie

Hi Curtis, Thanks for sharing that. Like I keep saying, sometimes it can be just the littlest sentence I read that may carry me through the day. SMILE... Melanie

Oh you poor, poor dear. God knows I know how frustrating this can be. I was back & forth to darned near every specialist for every test in the world for 3 or 4 years trying to find out why I never felt good. I sure don't want to sound discouraging but this all sounds so familiar to me. Every time I had yet another inconclusive test, they would up my antidepressants & send me on my merry way. By the time they finally nailed mine down, I was told that I was already in a very advanced & very aggressive Stage IV NSCLC which the previous week they had called a nondiscript viral infection. It presented itself as Day #1, a pea size lump on my neck: day #2, a grapefruit size lump on my neck: Day #7, a large volleyball size lump on my neck. That is why they call it the "Practice" of medicine. At first, I was so da&^%$ angry, I wanted to sue every Doctor whose doorstep had the unfortunate adventure of having my feet cross it. That anger helped me to get through that initial shock. I feel God working me through all these various stages that are inevidably going to pop up along the way & often now, I can see why He previously put something in my pathway. To better equip me for this journey. I guess the best I can do for you at this point is to quote as best I can remember, something that Becky said earlier. "Life is terminal." It's just what you do with it inbetween conception & finish that counts. I've found such an inner strength & peace since I came to terms with that. My life is so incredibly beautiful right now & I have absolutely no intention of going ANYWHERE for quite some time. While I know it is in Gods hands, there is a lot of fight & might in me. I've seen first hand how much that counts for in quality of life. I've simply made up my mind that come up's or down's, I'm going to strap in for the ride & enjoy every moment that I am given. Since I came to this "new reality" of my state of being, I am TRULY ENJOYING my life for the first time in my life. I've also found that with this attitude adjustment has come the most peace & comfort for myself & my family. I find myself having the best times of my life now that I have given myself permission to Live, Laugh & Love. It may seem as if I am rambeling but if somewhere within this, you can find even one tiny spark that will ignite, then I'll be happy. All is not hopeless. Just know that I really am having the best time of my life right now, hard as it may be to believe. Come what may with you & your Mom, you may find as I have, Cancer be da*#%&! I'm going to enjoy the heck out of the life I have everyday! Each day has become a special blessing to me at long last. Hugs & prayers, Melanie

Dear Rebecca, Becky is right, life itself is terminal. It's how we handle the bumps in the road along the way that matters most. I'm so sorry for your need to be here but I'm glad you found us. The people you will encounter on this site are THE BEST! Please feel free to chime in with any questions, concerns or even just to vent. I think you'll find that the more info you can get & share with us, the more you will learn & find comfort. There is a common bond that we share, like it or not & often it will be the smallest thing that is said that speaks the loudest. I want you to know that you & your Fiancee will be in my prayers & on my mind from here on out. I've found such peace since finding this site & I pray that He gives that to both of you. Anyway, strap in sweetie. We'll all ride this one out together & gain our strength in numbers. Hugs & prayers, Melanie

1.) At least I didn't sew into the bone - only went through flesh. 2.) Won 2 hams at the American Legion ham raffle last night. Got to do a good deed while winning something good to eat. You can't beat that! 3.) We sold out of tickets for our annual chili burn off for Rainbow Babies & Children's Hospital - Great! 4.) At least I only have to replace about 1/2 yard of fabric. Thank God I wasn't working on one of the long pieces when I had what we'll forevermore refer to as "My Goober Moment!". 5.) Peroxide & Neo-Sporin are really good things! No infection for me, no siree! Ok, I know it's not up to my usual par. All things considered, I think I did fairly well. I did find some bright spots in this mess (other than blood). Melanie

Hi All, I think I'm going to have to make a BIG stretch to find my 5 today! I not only didn't sleep one wink last night but I just now ran 2 stitches through my left index finger doggone it! I'm in the middle of sewing one of Greg's birthday gifts. He wants a Cleveland Brown's bath robe. So here I am all sleep deprived with no clue as to why I can't sleep, but bored out of my tree. So I figure the only intelligent thing to do is operate machinery on zero sleep. CRUD!!! Now I'm sure I won't get the robe done before his birthday (3/23) because this finger is really going to be hurting, but now I also have to go buy more fabric in order to complete it because I've got blood all over it! CRUD!!! You know, sometimes I really have to wonder about myself. Greg is going to lose his mind when he sees my finger. AWW CRUD!!! I'M SUCH A GOOBER! Ok, I'm going to have to find a reason to laugh about this after it stops throbbing. You think? Talk to you all after I figure out my 5, Melanie

Hi again Dave, One more thought, Have you considered a possible change of pain meds from Oxycontin to Morphine? I was having some incredibly bad reactions of all kinds to that blasted Oxycontin. My life is SO MUCH BETTER with the Morphine & I'm able to keep the dosage low enough to function quite well while on it. Talk to you later, Melanie

Hi Dave, I was wondering about your potassium level as well. I know that when my potassium dipped rather low, I was having some incredibly bad leg cramps. Just a thought & pretty easy to fix. Glad to hear from you. I hope you both have a wonderful little retreat. Hugs & prayers, Melanie

Dear Tess, I'm so sorry to hear of your heartache. Heaven only knows why some of us are hit so many times. I know that I certainly have had no easy way to go. Sometimes I think "will I ever get even a little break?" & then something will just strike me square in the face even harder. Of one thing, I am certain. All of the trials prior to my dx definately helped to prepare for the journey I now encounter. Had you told me a year ago that I would be in the condition that I am in & for the most part, having the time of my life, I would have had you locked up in a padded cell. Well, I'm here to tell you - I wouldn't want to change a thing. Yeah, I'd like to live a lot longer than they say I will & I believe I will. The person I've become through everything makes me so happy. I've also learned that the person I've evolved into makes those who love me so much happier than I've ever made them before too. I guess that is the whole point. When you finally get that it isn't quantitiy - it's quality. Anyway, please feel free to ask for help at any time. It really helps all of us when we can be of assistance. Hugs & prayers, Melanie

Oh Bill, I just can't imagine what you've been going through. While I was dx at stage IV & given the "not a cure" speech, I was still given the option to fight to see another day. Frankly, my life is so beautiful today because of some very caring people & a radical attitude adjustment on my part, I just couldn't imagine not having been the choice to persue treatment or not. Honestly, these "professionals" whom you & your wife have had the unfortunate experience of encountering during this journey should lose their licenses. Please know that you are both on my "A List" for prayers. May God bless both of you & put only people in your path that are willing to assist rather than hinder your progress. Hugs & prayers to both of you, Melanie

Dear Lucie, A very happy birthday to you. I am toasting you with a small glass of chardonnay! Hugs & Prayers, Melanie